This is 32 | A New List

My final portrait from my series, taken on the eve of my 32nd birthday.

11, 699 days in so far in this thing called life, as of today that is. I had every intention of actually getting these words out into the open over a week ago when I rang in a new year of life but...life happened per usual. Work happened, raising kids happened, trying to catch up on sleep kind of happened but who are we kidding, really? 

I have a feeling that year thirty two is going to be a good one for me, one like I've never quite experienced before. Why? I'm not sure how to put my finger on it but this past season has been one of swift and immense change in just about every area of my life. I feel like this new year is going to be much the same and I'm kind of just along for the ride so far.

 Looking back upon my life over the last decade, I never really thought I would be where I am now. I'm back working at the office that I left 4 years ago and it still is strange to me to sit and work in that office once more. Every morning that I go into work, it still feels strange to put on my name tag and walk through those halls.  We have two children, which is still seemingly mind boggling to me in many ways. Becoming a mom has changed me more than anything else in my life. 

As of last week, we have officially transitioned back to the church we called home when we were newleyweds and into the years of our lives pre-babies. I have been trying to be intentional and cry out for my family in this season more than I ever have before. No longer working at church opened up my ears and my heart more to where God was leading us in this new season. He has lead us to return to where we once were. As with all decisions of this caliber, it has not been easy especially because many of th people I was in ministry with, I have been in ministry with for over half of my life. That’s a long time. But, sitting in our new (old) church home on Sunday, I was flooded with so much peace and I know we are where we need to be. Sometimes transition is hard and I have felt that in so many areas of our lives. But lately, I have felt peace the surpasses all of my understanding in this life and I know I just need to keep listening. 

Every year for the past few years, I have created a list of things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday rolls around, as it always does. Now that I am on my way into my mid-thirties, at least in a few years, I feel like it is expected of me to get my crap together more. My twenties feel very, very, very far away now and life looks completely different than I thought it would. Good different, but different nonetheless. 

Here is my list from last year. I have gone in and crossed out the ones that I actually accomplished. There are some things on this list that I have placed on the list every year and every year I don’t accomplish them, but here we are. I know many of you could really care less if I cross off items on my list, but I love things like this and I will probably continue to make these lists for a long time. 

Below is my list for this new year of life....I am now 32, which still seems odd to me in the grand scheme of things. But, I’m ready to dive in to this new year, full of hope even though so many things still feel like they are unknown. 

33 books
Read through the Bible
Go camping
Become debt free
Get another tattoo
Sell our house (This is probably the biggest undertaking on this list...) 
10 year anniversary trip
Family Trip
Holiday Bucket List 
Try Buki Yoga & Lekfit
Secret Thing #1 (Wouldn’t you like to know?) 
Fly in a plane
Farmers Market
Use the library more
No Spend Month
Drive in Movie
Find another side hustle
Fall Bucket List
Play a show or play FOCOMX 
Have pie in Estes
Intuitive Eating
Go to a concert
See the ocean
52 Blog Posts for the year
Stay at the Elizabeth Hotel
Get a massage
Finish a song
30 Day Challenge
Revamp the weekly cleaning schedule
Go meat free for a while
New pick up and tune up for my Martin acoustic
Family Dinner 2x per week and focus on meal planning
Make bread from scratch



This is 32. 

Portrait Ten & Eleven


I am always doing some sort of catch up but at least I'm getting these accomplished at some point. They were taken weeks or months ago. These are part of my 32 Things Before 32 List where I set a goal of taking one self-portrait per month. I haven't been very good at it and really don't enjoy taking my own photo but I made this as part of my list because of that. I need to be stretched. I need to be able to capture where I am at in in a certain season of my life. 


The first image feels very veiled to me. In this moment in time I am debating making even more changes in our lives, even more changes than I have already brought about in this past year. Something has been stirring inside of me greatly since I left my job at the church. Something has not stayed quiet and I feel like we have found a new home and community. I realize this is all very vague but I took this photo sitting on our steps in our house after we had just been at church and realizing mid service that we might not be there much longer, at least in the capacity that we have been. That is a big deal and a very big change. It has been hanging on me for months and I feel like we are finally getting to the point of being on the other side. Soon, very soon. 


This second photo was taken in an average hotel room in Montrose, CO on the day of my grandfather's funeral. I was tired, missing our kids, and ready to return back to our lives after traveling Thursday through Saturday, two weeks in a row. But, the fact that Ryan and I were both able to travel to Montrose for the funeral and see our family was a great gift, one I don't take lightly. I was thinking a lot about family and life, as one does when celebrating the life of another. Life really is short and I have no desire to waste my moments that I have with our children, friends, and family. Those things are what really matters. My job won't matter. Our house and cars won't matter. The number in our bank account won't matter or the number on the scale won't really matter. People matter. I need to be reminded of that a lot lately and I am grateful for the reminder.