Rain

I need a fresh start today. A real one. A powerful one. 

Yesterday turned out to be a little rough on the work front and I still can’t shake it. There’s been so many times lately where I can’t take it. There’s been so many times where even though I do make good money and work for an awesome company, I don’t feel like what I’m doing there is making any sort of difference: I am just in the way. I don’t matter. I am not making life better for people that work there but maybe worse. I’ve failed. 

Melodramatic much? 

I know much of what was stated above isn't true. 

At least it’s been raining all night. I almost feel like that’s God little sign to me saying: it’s going to be ok. Remember how I used to wash you of all impurities and mistakes in your life before in the northwest. Remember the rain. Remember My promises. 

Rain carries with it a heaviness for me but also a welcomed breath. I am hurled back to the years of my past the second I hear the rain hit the pavement. So much of my life was once saturated by this rain. So many of my decisions, my triumphs and failures, were made in this rain. It followed me 1200 miles back to this very place I write today, if only to remind me of what once was, what isn’t anymore, and possibly what could be ahead. 

I will probably have some courageous conversations today. I will probably be stretched and need to face my faults or at least what I think are my faults. It’s going to be ok. We all need those days even though most of the time we try not to face them. It’s part of the process. I don’t believe it’s possible to work around so many people and not face this process. 

I needed this rain today. 

I would be entirely fine if it kept up all day and into this evening. 

A Weekend In Montrose: Losing Ones Mind with Family

A weekend or so ago, I went with a bunch of my family to Montrose, Colorado. My Grandma has Alzheimers and even though most of us don't want to think of this: she isn't doing to well. I haven't seen this side of the family nearly as much as I'd like so I jumped on the chance of spending a few days with them.

Listening to John Mayer. Loudly.

My traveling, baby bump.

Alzheimers is a crazy, crazy disease. Seeing a family member go through that makes me wonder if losing my mind or my body first is better or not. That's not really something one wants to think about, but it feels very real to me lately. Seeing my grandma so frustrated because she can't communicate like she once did is tough. I can't even begin to fathom what it is like to literally lose your mind. Do you know? Is she aware? 

At least, I know with complete certainty, that she is surrounded by family and people that love her. This woman carries a legacy. She had 7 kids. She raised them as the strong woman I know she is. My grandpa is also one of the strongest individuals I've ever met. He loves her, even when she might not have any idea who he is, he loves her. He's there. He's taking care of her and himself the best that he can. That's love. 

My Grandpa Triplett

I understand that our lives do come to an end at one point or another. I just pray that when that time comes for me someday that I am surrounded by family, much like my grandma. 

In the end, family and God are really all you have. 

That is enough. 

Birthday BBQ 2013

We have quite a few August birthdays in our family. Mine is August 3rd. My man's is August 30th. My dad's is August 16th. So, this year, we planned a BBQ at our house for all three of us. It was a nice, chill time of hanging out with family, eating too much good food, and celebrating all three of us. 

My prego splurge for the day. I love coke in a bottle. 

Ryan grilling.

Family 

Get in my belly. 

Get in my belly, part 2. 

All of the men in the family. 

Earlier that day, we were also went in for our first ultra-sound. I feel like I'm just too huge already and wanted to make sure everything was looking good. We still don't know if it's a boy or girl, but I am measuring right along schedule and everything looks great. It was pretty crazy to see that little life on the screen, bouncing around like crazy. Definitely one of the coolest experiences for us as a couple.

Baby Hollen

I'm big. 

This year for was for birthday shoes. 

Time with family is good. Always good. I am fully ready to ring in being 27. If you haven't already, check out my new 28 Things Before 28 List. You can also find the link button on the side of this blog. 

Bridge Wedding: June 2013

I have had these photos done for a while now, but I wanted to make sure I posted something from this June wedding. Ryan and I kind of stumbled upon this job. We knew the bride and groom. We knew they were looking for someone. They asked us if we knew anyone and I was like: well, you do know we shoot weddings right? The rest is history. 

This was the first huge project that I shot when I was pregnant. I was exhausted far beyond how tired I usually am after a wedding. It also took so much longer to edit for me (I still met my deadline) due to the fact that my morning sickness in my first trimester was very much night sickness. Sitting down to edit hundreds of photos isn't very appealing when my house is a billion degrees and my world is a spinning orb of nausea. (Melodramatic much?) At least most of the sickness is long behind me and I was able to deliver a product that we are very proud of. 

A few of our favorites....

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There are hundreds more. But, these were some of my favorites.