Baby Sullivan | Week Fifteen

I was wiping the bottom of one of our adorabe children today and it hit me....this is where we are. This is part of who we are. This season of my life doesn't completely define who I am but it helps define parts of who I am. If someone had sat me down 10 years ago and told me that I would be married, working at a church, own our home, and have 2 small children under 4 years old...I probably would have laughed you out of the room. Back then, my grandiose vision contained dreams of traveling the world, playing music, taking photos, living in the northwest. My dreams didn't really consist of cleaning the bathroom, conquering mountains of laundry (how many people live in my house? I want to know!), dealing with toddler tantrums, and fussy babies. 

But, here we are. I am right here, in this moment of wiping bums and noses. I am right here in this moment of scrubbing down the carseat after Sullivan had a major explosion at the grandparent's house while I was working at church. I am right here, playing out in the leaves with my preschooler, holding the baby in my lap and watching Marin slide her Barbies down the slide. I am right here with the sun on my face, longing for this fall season to stick around for a while longer. 

Would I like to be traveling the world, being creative? Of course. But, I'm also totally content where I am right in this very moment. I never wanted to admit before that one of the callings upon my life was to be a wife and mom. I honestly used to think that was an excuse to not succeed in my career or passions. Now, I see it as one of the most important callings of all. I don't care what other people think about that anymore. Certain aspects of my creative life are in a stand still right now. I see that, I feel that pretty much all of the time. But, the fact that we get to raise our children without having them in daycare 40 hours a week is the biggest blessing we have right now. I still get to work full time but still get to be home with my kiddos throughout the week. I don't take that lightly. I am super blessed by a job that allows me to do just that. 

The next time I start to feel the ache of my former life before becoming a mom, I just need to open my eyes to where I am in this season. I need to be okay with reheating my coffee for the 800th time in the last few hours. I need to be okay with the sand dumped all over the living room rug from Marin's boots because that means that she was out playing and learning and living. I need to be okay with the 4:30am feedings and cherish them with everything I have because they will disappear soon enough. I need to soak in the mornings when Marin has to give me multiple hugs before sitting down to eat breakfast. 

Sullivan is fifteen weeks old today. We've had many diaper explosions the past few days. I've scoured Pinterest far too much for ways to get poop stains out of baby clothes. He's asleep next to me on the floor of the basement as I write this and we are surrounded by an explosion of toys, thanks to Marin. Tomorrow, we are bringing snack to preschool, I am a teacher for the morning, and Ryan and I are the music teachers. 

10 years ago, I didn't think my life would look like this now. But, I'm so grateful that it does look this way. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Twelve

I love this photo. He seems so hardcore. 

The weather has cooled down a bit in the past few days and it rained all of yesterday. We even turned on our heater the other night because it was freezing in our home. This is my happy place. The first day of fall has arrived and Sullivan is twelve weeks old. 

I'm back to work in full swing and pumping will probably be the death of me. I also keep forgetting to bring the little lids that go on top of the bottles for after I pump. I've resorted to pouring the milk into water bottles until I can get them home and put a lid on them. Seriously. How do I keep doing that? Those lids are important. I want to keep my supply up so I'm pumping on the same schedule that I feed him, give or take an hour or so. Sundays are the hardest because the second I step foot at church/work, my day flies by at breakneck speed. 

Sullivan is all smiles and coos. He is finding his voice. He's outgrowing all of his clothes and I need to get him some pants because cooler weather is coming soon. He is already in 3-6 month clothes and is growing like a weed. He loves playing on the activity mat that we had for Marin. I feel bad for the little guy though because it's very pink but he doesn't seem to mind at all. 

Sorry for all of the pink, buddy. 

Marin caught a cold in the last few days so we've been taking it super easy at home and just praying that she takes long naps and gets healthy. Now that she's in preschool, I'm sure she's around a lot more germs than before. I'm also consistently asking her to stay out of baby brother's face because a sick baby is never any fun for anyone. I'm praying that she is on the mend because she has preschool again tomorrow and I know she will be super bummed if she has to miss it because her nose is so runny. 

The weeks are moving so swiftly and we are almost in October already. I decorated the inside of our home for fall. I'm ready to drink lots of hot coffee. I want to take the kids to a pumpkin patch this year. We've never done that before and I think Marin would have a blast. I feel the need to try and slow down a bit in our lives but it becomes difficult when our weeks are so full. The days go very quickly. With every new week, I'm left wondering where the previous week went. It will be Christmas before we know it and we will have an almost 4 year old and a 6 month old! My goodness. 

Week Twelve. And just for fun....Marin at 12 Weeks

Baby Sullivan | Week Seven

Week seven is here. Every week I say it and I will say it again...time is moving quickly. This week feels fresh and new. We are slowly getting into the swing of things and my heart has been so full the past few days. I look at my life and cannot believe I get to be a part of it, honestly. I guess I've just been feeling extra blessed lately, like everything is falling into place and life is pretty darn good lately. Do I still feel a bit of new baby fog? Of course, but overall I feel like we are landing on a good schedule and many good things are coming in the near future.

Sullivan has given us the awesome gift of sleeping through the night for the past few nights. We had one rough night last week and that was it. Other than that, we are getting much longer stretches of time. We feed him one last time around 9pm and he's been sleeping until 4:30 or 5am. How did we get so lucky? I shouldn't say that because I don't want to jinx it. Seriously though, it's crazy. I wake up feeling far more rested than before. I've just been getting up after I feed him in the mornings and I feel like I'm slowly gaining some sanity and clarity for this season. Being able to have quiet time for even just a little while is life giving.

Another milestone this week is that we had to trim the baby fingernails. Every parent knows how utterly terrifying that can be. Luckily, Ryan always seems to do it for me. He's awesome like that. We will keep him around. We are also seeing lots of smiles lately from Sullivan and I still can't seem to capture one in a photograph. He has been awake a lot more during the day and it's been fun to see his little personality start to shine through. 

I've been making it a point to not just aimlessly look at my phone while nursing him and that seems to be working out well for me. Instead, I've been reading. It's refreshing to not have my eyes glued to a phone screen constantly. Half of the stuff on Facebook nowadays stinks and I'd rather fill my mind and heart with something better. I just finished The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You. I just started Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope. 

I returned to work part time last week and it feels good to be back and having some conversations with adults. I hit the ground running and quickly dove into scheduling, finance stuff, payroll, etc. Most of my anxiety has fallen away and I am excited for the season ahead. Also, fall is coming, my very favorite time of the year. 

Week Seven. 

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Baby Sullivan | Week Six

I almost missed posting this on a Monday as planned, but we have hit six weeks with this little man. He slept through the night again last night and I always feel like I've hit the sleep lottery. An uninterrupted seven hours of sleep is the best gift anyone can give me at this season of my life. 

On Sunday, we finally made it back to church. Since I work for a church, I've been avoiding it the last few weeks just because I knew that I needed to just spend time with my family and not worry about work. Honestly, I've had a lot of anxiety lately about returning to work. I spent a lot of time stupidly wondering if I would be needed upon my return. Going to church on Sunday was a breath of fresh air and I'm thankful that my anxiety has decreased majorly. As of Sunday, I am back to work part time, mostly from home for a few more weeks. It feels good to work my brain again and not just be a milk factory for a cute little dude. It felt good to have adult conversations and make my little lists. 

I turned in the paperwork for Marin to go preschool this evening. We are barreling towards the beginning of the school year at warp speed. I think it will be very good to have her around more kids twice a week. Our involvement as parents is pretty intense because it's a preschool co-op and I'm trying not to become overwhelmed by that. Lots of committees and teach days but Marin will be with a bunch of her friends and the preschool is practically across the street from us. 

I'm looking forward to fall. Sullivan is seriously such an easy baby so far. He eats well, sleeps decently well.  I've been trying to capture a picture of his cute little smile but have yet to get a good photo. He is growing so much every day. As of today, he is 44 days old. Marin is adapting to life with a sibling. I've been using Clicklist through King Soopers and not having to go into a grocery store with two kids has been wonderful. I'm heading back to work and my favorite season of all will soon be upon us. 

Lots of change around here, but I feel like I'm slowly gaining clarity for the season that is upon us. 

Week Six. 

Slow Mondays | Estes Park, CO

Slow Mondays are good Mondays. Yesterday we took a drive up to Estes Park as a family. We ate pizza. We walked around and saw the changing colors in the trees. We ate too much ice cream. We always need days like this. It's good for us. Marin was such a rockstar and I love being able to just spend slow days with my little family. 

I would like many more Mondays like this one, please. 

Life Lately | September Update

I blinked and we are halfway through September. Life has been changing swiftly and constantly this past month. I've added a multitude of job responsibilities at work, along with being able to cross #18 off of this list. 

I've been really focusing on keeping an hour or so every morning just for myself. Quiet time. No working. No sending emails. I've been working through this devotional this month and it's so great. I highly recommend it.

I've finish a few books this month, which also gets me closer to my goal for my 30 Things List. Since I created my list I've finished: #1, #2, #3. 

I've been trying new recipes and some meal planning throughout the week. So far we have tried: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6. I really liked the Baked Tacos and Baked Spaghetti. 

We celebrated my nephew's 1st birthday this past weekend. He's adorable and I love watching him grow up. 

I finally had the hubby bring down some of the fall decor from the garage attic. I didn't go too nuts this year but it is nice to have a bit of new color. I am also still in love with our new light fixture over the kitchen table. I am also still trying to figure out when in the world I'm going to repaint the kitchen cabinets and paint pretty much the entire inside of my house. I need a week off with no interruptions just to accomplish all of it. 

I'm longing for a small vacation. I would go anywhere at this point. I just want to unplug and unwind. 

September is flying by but everyday I come to the end of my day and feel accomplished. Life is good right now. Family is important. My BIL was in a car accident last week and it just makes you stop and think about life and family. He is going to be ok but the road is not short. Rest is also important. I love that fall is pretty much here and I'm ready to welcome to it.