Christmas Baking

We don't bake a lot but I figured that because it's nearly Christmas, it was time. We haven't had a spare morning to do anything lately so today was the day. Marin and I picked out two recipes: Cookies and Reindeer Chow. They are pretty easy recipes and don't have a million ingredients. They are also delicious. 

Marin takes any opportunity she can get to wear an apron. 

Marin's favorite part is sneaking M&M's when she thinks I'm not looking. 

Now we just need to share all of these goodies with other people so we don't eat them all ourselves. 

Christmas Eve & Christmas 2015

I can't quite believe that Christmas has already come and gone again. I look so forward to it all year and then I blink. Gone. This year was a good one, one for the books. Having a child around at Christmas time makes it even better. This time last year, Marin wasn't walking yet and wasn't totally aware of Christmas and presents. This year, she was all in. That kid made out like a bandit. We won't need to buy her another toy for a long time. 

Christmas Eve started at the Hollen's for brunch and presents. 

Since I work for a church, my afternoon and evening was spent working on Christmas Eve. We held a service at our building. There were a million cookies, hot cocoa, and glow sticks to end the night as we sang "Silent Night." It was a wonderful evening but I was very glad to go home and put my feet up. Ryan and I opened a few gifts from each other before bedtime. 

Marin has been taking Thomas everywhere. 

We woke up fairly early the next day to finish opening our gifts and for Marin to open up her gifts from us and of course, Santa Claus. I was so excited to give her the toy kitchen and all of the fun food stuff that comes with it. Ryan also killed it with my gifts. We haven't been able to afford gifts for each other the past few years so it was really fun being able to buy for each other this year. He is a great gift giver. 

We headed down to my parent's new home to open up presents with my side of the family. It was really fun being in their new home. Marin is in toy heaven. Christmas evening was spent at my Uncle's and Aunt's home eating amazing food and having a White Elephant gift exchange to end the day. 

Christmas of 2015 was a good one. I love that almost all of our families are close and that we can celebrate with everyone. Christmas time though the eyes of a child is like nothing else I've known. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. 

Slow Mondays | Estes Park, CO

Slow Mondays are good Mondays. Yesterday we took a drive up to Estes Park as a family. We ate pizza. We walked around and saw the changing colors in the trees. We ate too much ice cream. We always need days like this. It's good for us. Marin was such a rockstar and I love being able to just spend slow days with my little family. 

I would like many more Mondays like this one, please. 

Baby Marin: Week Three

I feel like we have come so far already. Am I still pretty dang exhausted, of course! But, it all seems to be falling into place, one day at a time. Today we find ourselves with a three week old baby. Three weeks. Time has flown by. I am always shocked when I look at the clock at some point each day and realize that it is already 5pm. Throw a time change into the mix and all of our hours seem a tad mixed up. 

I can say for once in our little relationship as mom and daughter, that breastfeeding is going so much better. She's latching like a little rock star. Most nights Marin wakes up twice for a feeding. We've had a few fussy nights but overall, things are going far more smoothly than the entirely frustrating first week we were home with our little one. 

She is growing right before our eyes. 

Marin at 3 Weeks: 

1. She is far more alert this week than the weeks before. 
2. During tummy time, she is able to lift her head up and move around quite well. 
3. I can tell that she is able to focus on what she is seeing a lot more.  
4. A co-worker gave us a baby swing and I would like to tell her "thank you" a billions time over. Thank you, thank you! Life saver. (I'm writing this post as Marin swings and sleeps next to me in the office.) 

Mama at 3 Weeks: 

1. Even with the lack of sleep, I feel like I am slowly getting the hang of all of this. I have never functioned on this little sleep though in my life, even back in college when I hardly slept!
2. I scheduled a pamper day next week that I am looking so forward to: massage, mani, pedi! Hallelujah! I seriously can't wait! I am realizing how important it is to take care of myself during this season as well. It's best for everyone that way. 
3. I am constantly researching baby stuff: bottles, cloth diapering, how in the world I will ever be able to return to work, pumping, etc. 
4. I made the mistake of trying on some pre-pregnancy jeans....not a good plan this early in the game. I am ready to get back to working out. I need it. And maybe some new jeans for a little while. I can't wear pajama and yoga pants for the rest of my life, unfortunately. 

Dad at 3 Weeks: 

1. Ryan went back to work on Sunday after being on a family medical leave with us for 4 weeks. I loved having him here with us, but he had to go back to work at some point! 
2. He is a pro at diaper duty and burping this baby. He has the special burping skills that I just don't. 
3. He still gets up with me once at night since he's up usually any way. I will be really excited when she starts taking a bottle every once in a while and I can sleep a little longer at night. Soon, someday soon. 
4. His parents have offered to watch Marin sometime next week to allow us to have a date night. I am also looking so forward to that as well! 

I will leave you with this entry from my journal this past week:  

Until now, I never fully knew what it meant to love someone I hardly know yet, so intensely, my heart aches. I also haven't ever felt this amount of stress, frustration, and confusion, coupled with an elated joy and a purely dumbfounded love that I almost can't put it into words. I have spent most days so sleep deprived yet strangely alright with it. I have questioned every little thing; wondering if my child will come out into this world and succeed fully and beautifully. Or, will her parents mess her up somehow in this process called parenting? 

I feel so connected to this little human. She makes me want to be better, to strive harder, to dream bigger. She causes me to realize that I will never fully have the life I did before I became a mother, but I am completely alright with that realization. She is worth it in every single way.

If You Are The Prayin' Kind

Yesterday was very hard. Very hard. I am still trying to grasp a lot of what we were told. The news wasn’t good, the news wasn’t ideal. But there is one thing I know for certain, one thing I will hold on to with every ounce of my being: 

My God is bigger. My God is stronger. If His will is to bring this little girl into this world, it will happen. No matter what. 

Those could be the only words I write today and that would be enough. 

My faith doesn’t rest in my medical doctor, my faith rests in God alone. 

We were told yesterday, after being sent to a different specialist for an ultrasound, that Marin is measuring smaller than they would like. 

They also told us that I don’t have enough amniotic fluid to help guarantee the life and growth our little girl. 

Our God is bigger. 

Our God is stronger. 

The hard part with this situation is that there isn’t anything I could have done differently and there isn’t much I can do moving forward. We have another appointment set for the first of October with the specialist. For now, the only thing I can do is guzzle water like it’s going out of style. 

Prayer can change things. God can cause our little girl to grow big and strong. God can cause my amniotic fluid to increase to a point where it is safe and healthy. 

If you are of the praying kind, please pray with us. 

I want nothing more than to meet our little, healthy girl in February.