Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Four

I realized this morning while at church that I didn’t write out Sullivan’s weekly post yesterday. Oops! I totally forgot! But, here we are and I have some super adorable photos for you all.

First of all, it’s Mother’s Day. I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mother and my wonderful mother-in-law. Mom, you have been a constant support and guide in my life and I am forever thankful and blessed by your wisdom. Thank you for loving me so well and helping me journey through life over the years. Thank you also for being an amazing Grammy to our children. We don’t know what we would do with out you!

Reenie, Happy Mother’s Day to you! Thank you for raising your son so well and for taking me in as another daughter in your life. I also don’t know what we would do without you and I love having you in our lives and I know the kids feel the same way.

I am very thankful that both of our mothers are so close to home. Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Also, happy Mother's Day to my amazing sister. Gunnar is super blessed to have such a great mom like you. I'm glad we get to journey through motherhood together. 

Sullivan is forty four weeks old this week and time is flying, per usual. His little personality has really begun to start shining through lately. I keep feeling like I’m getting little glimpses of the little boy that he will soon become. He’s full of character and kind of feisty and I love him for that.

He still isn’t crawling but we are trying to give him all of the opportunities he needs to do so. I know it’s only a matter of time before he’s getting into everything and crawling all over the place. I know once he figures out how to do it, we won’t be able to stop him.

Both kids have been waking up super early this week and I know that’s mostly due to the fact that the sun is up so much earlier lately. I need them to sleep in...only a little! 5:30am is a little too early. That’s when I get mommy time and I need it! Everyday!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there. I’m right there in the trenches with you and I know beyond a doubt that my children are one of the best things to ever happen to me. They challenge me, they push my buttons, but they also bless my socks off.

For all of you moms today...go take a bubble bath, drink some wine. Leave the dishes in the sink at least until tomorrow. Go kiss your babies good night and sleep soundly feeling blessed, with full hearts. You deserve it. 

Here’s Marin at Week Forty Four!

Baby Sullivan | Week Thirty Three

I've been trying to get this posted all week but this week has been a doozy and now it's already Saturday. These photos have been siting in this post ready to go for days...Oh well. It's not Sunday yet. I'm still within the week. 

Sullivan is growing up so quickly. This time next week, he will be 8 months old! Eight months. I can hardly wrap my mind around it. I was just pregnant, right?!? Time is flying. He's going to be celebrating his first birthday before we know it. 

Sully has been a little fussy this week and I think teeth are still to blame. Most days, he goes through life with red, little cheeks and some drool. I can see the top two teeth just hanging out under his gums, so it's only a matter of time before those pop through. Hopefully, he doesn't resort to biting while nursing again. We faced that when his bottom two teeth came in and that was painful. I know he doesn't realize he's causing me pain and gnawing on something eases his mouth pain but biting while breastfeeding is one of my least favorite things in the world, especially at 5am in the morning when I'm not quite awake yet and ready to take on the day. 

He's been eating solid food for a few weeks now and will not longer touch the jarred food. My mom was watching the kiddos on Thursday and she had quite a scare with Sullivan so we are making some baby led weaning changes. There's so many options and opinions out there about how to approach baby lead weaning. Some people cut food up in tiny pieces, some in strips, some in little circular shapes. We were doing the circular shape with some roasted sweet potatoes and Sully choked on one at dinner. My mom had to do the Heimlich  Maneuver on Sully. I know that gagging is part of the BLW weaning process, but choking, not so much. I'm very thankful my mom was there and was able to act fast. I know it shook her up pretty badly, but Grammy was there to save the day. That being said....we are cutting stuff up pretty tiny now these days while he still learns how to feed himself. It's such a process and certain parts of it really freak me out! 

I am trying to do a lot more floor time with Sully in hopes that he will get to the point of crawling at some point. Right now, he is so content just sitting up like a big dude, playing with his toys. I'm not totally prepared for him to be mobile yet and need to dig out the baby gates. He just grows up so much every single day. 

Some changes are coming in our lives, regarding my job and how it looks on any given week. At first, I was super discouraged by it but I'm slowly coming to terms with it. Depending on how it all falls into place, I might be able to leave work at work. The past few years of my life have been spent juggling working from home and the office, always being on and connected to my phone. I would like to be able to just be with my family when I am home with my family. Plain and simple. We might be looking for some childcare options one day a week though and I am not a fan of that. But, we have been super lucky and blessed so far with not having to pay for childcare. It is so, so, so, so expensive...like the equivalent of paying a second mortgage expensive. But, we are talking through these changes and I'm hoping to get some more clarity on it soon. If you know me well, you know that not having all of the answers about how all of this is supposed to look is slowly driving me crazy. 

Here's Marin at Week Thirty Three. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Twenty Nine

We are really getting into the swing of things with Sullivan James lately. I feel like we hit 6 months with him and so many things just started to fall into place. He is hitting so many milestones lately that I feel like there's a million new things about him every morning he wakes up. He is growing like crazy and I'm trying to soak it all in. We feel that we are done with two kids so I'm trying to embrace all of the little milestones and details of little Sullivan. He may be the last baby I nurse at 1:30 in the morning in the glow of his night light. He may be the last baby we introduce solids to and the last baby that I have to wipe down after giving him solid foods. He may be the last baby that we buy so many diapers for. It's weird to think about. 

He's been taking pretty good naps for me lately and for that I am thankful. Nighttime has been another story though. He is happy as can be all day until the moment we lay him down in his crib for bedtime. Then he cries and cries. I hate having him cry it out but he's a smart cookie and knows that mommy or daddy will come running in if he looses his binky and starts wailing. Luckily, he usually zonks out fairly quickly but it still stinks. 

He's been eating solid foods 3 times a day lately and he's loving it. We usually start the day with mushed banana and oatmeal or a jar of fruit baby food. Lunch is usually a mum mum and a jar of food. Dinner is the same. He really likes peas and pears. This week we are going to try some with meat in them, more Stage 2 foods. He's a great eater and it's been fun having him sit at the table with us while Marin eats. 

I really want to try and have some family dinners though. Right now, Ryan works late enough that I usually feed the kiddos before he gets home. Then I cook dinner for the adults after the kids are in bed. I think family dinners are important. I realize our children are still young but I also really want to expand Marin's palette beyond chicken nuggets and cheese for dinner. She should eat what we eat. I know saying that is one thing and actually doing it is another but I would like to make that my goal someday. 

We hit another milestone this week as well. Sullivan sat in a shopping cart for the first time at Costco. We usually push him in his stroller and the other parent pushes Marin in the cart but on Monday, he rode in the cart with her. He thought that was pretty much the coolest thing ever. It was nice not having to push a stroller and a cart. We are slowly getting closer to me being able to go grocery shopping by myself with two kiddos. 

Week Twenty Nine!

Here's Marin at Week Twenty Nine. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Twenty Seven & Twenty Eight

I am playing catch up.....I have fallen behind. So, we are going to do two weeks in one post. This will cover last week and this week. Week twenty-seven and twenty-eight of Mr. Sullivan James Hollen. I've been down for the count yesterday and today with a stomach flu and am just now starting to feel like a human once more. I think my body was trying to tell me to slow down a bit because I've been running at warp speed for what feels like weeks. Sometimes I need to be knocked down by a being sick to slow myself down a bit. That's probably not the best way to find some rest but here we are. 

Sully had his 6 month well check appointment last Monday. As predicted, he's growing a lot and is the 90th percentiles for just about everything. He currently clocks in at 20lbs, 10.9oz. He is 2'3" tall and his head circumference is in the 95th percentile for his age. He has a big head. He's growing like crazy. He checked out as a healthy, growing boy. He got a few shots, which is never fun. They definitely effected his mood and sleep for a few days and I always hate going through that with our babies. He's finally back to his normal, cheerful self. 

We have also been having solids at most meals in the day. He is such a champ. He's pretty obsessed with his spoon. We have been mostly feeding him purees with some solids that he can gnaw on like bananas and avocados. He also really likes Baby Mum Mum's which are a rice teething snack. So far we have tried carrots, sweet potatoes, banana, and apple purees. I don't think we will have any issues with him being a good eater. His appetite is growing as quickly as he is. 

One other milestone that we hit this week was sitting up well on his own. He has the nursing pillow behind him just in case, but he sits upright and plays to his heart's content. Now if we could just get him to roll over consistently. That's the one thing that he hasn't done a ton of yet. The pediatrician said since he's so big it might be tough for him to get the hang of it. I've been trying to do a lot of floor time still to urge him into rolling over. 

He's been waking up a lot lately throughout the night, at least once, if not twice. Mama is getting pretty tired....I'm wondering if he's eating enough before bed. He keeps wanting to wake up for a little snack. He also soaks his diapers and I think that is waking him up too. I'm just taking each night as it comes and trying to solidify a good bedtime routine. I also know that many babies go through a sleep regression at 6 months and that's very well what we may be living in at the moment. One night at a time. 

Phew. All caught up now. I'll try to not get so behind again! 

Here's Marin at Twenty Seven & Twenty Eight Weeks. 

Portrait Five

As part of my 32 Things Before 32 List, I am attempting to take one self-portrait per month. This one is for the month of December. Yet again, just like the months before, we are already into the beginning of the next month. 

I am now five portraits in on this series and I feel a certain level of frustration whenever I embark upon taking the next photograph. I am usually the one behind the camera lens, not in front of it. I hate to admit how many photos I took to land on this one for photograph number five. This past year has not been kind to my view of myself and I always feel like a photograph never really lies to you. But, here we are. Number five. 

I'm ready for a new year and a refreshed view of who I am. I spent half of last year pregnant and the other half trying to find my footing as a mom to two littles. I feel like I have spent the last 365 days caring for most everyone other than myself. Sure, I did a Whole 30 in October which gave me some light but other than that, I am sleep deprived and haven't taken very good care of myself. That's what I see in this photograph: a tired mom that has poured into everyone else's cup before my own. I am realizing, ever so slowly, that you can't pour from an empty cup. 

Let me say that again...

You cannot pour from an empty cup. 

I always love new years and how the world goes into goal setting mode. I make my lists and really start allowing myself to dive into my dreams. There's one thing I know for certain as we head into 2018, I must take care of myself as well. I'm not totally sure what this looks like yet but I'm willing to ask the hard questions to get there. I'm willing to work on setting aside the time to take care of myself and find rest. I want to be my very best for the people that I do life with. I want to feel good in my own skin. 

Portait Five. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Nineteen

We have all been a little under the weather for what seems like weeks now. It finally hit me and I still have the sore throat to prove it. Marin is currently a snot factory and Sullivan is really congested. He definitely isn't a fan of the infamous nose sucker. Colds are always enjoyable to begin with and then you add in the fact that your children can not really blow their noses on their own and even more fun begins. 

But, here we are. Week nineteen. I'm ready for all of us to be healthy once more. I feel like once one of us finally kicks the bug, the others aren't too far behind. It's a constant cycle every year it feels like. I'm just trying to make sure everyone washes their hands like crazy lately and I'm diffusing essential oils like a madwoman. When you are a parent, you don't really get sick days. I walked around work on Sunday without much of a voice. We also sang songs at Marin's school today, lots of turkey themed tunes. I'm at that point in this cold where I get a tickle in my throat and can't seem to quit coughing. That definitely happened at music time this morning, but oh well. It is what it is. We also now have sang multiple versions of If You're Happy & You Know It but just with different lyrics. We sang about a chicken today too. One that laid an egg. Oh, preschool. You are fun. 

We still haven't started Sullivan on any solids yet. I need to bring the high chair up from the basement. I think part of me isn't quite ready for him to be growning up so fast. I also secretly am trying to keep my kitchen clean-ish for just a little while longer. Good bye, semi-clean floor...at least for a while. 

He's out growing many things already, way faster than his big sister did. Pretty soon, we will sell the beloved baby swing. His little feet are already dangling over the edge. I love that thing. It can either be just a bouncer that can moved anywhere or a swing. He's outgrown so many outfits. His adorable chunky thighs cannot fit in the Bumbo at all any more. We will need to switch him to a different car set fairly soon. Slow down, son. Slow down.

 

We also are in the process of buying another minivan. I feel like we are coming full circle all of a sudden again. A few years ago, we bought a mom van.  This was before we even had any children. We used it to haul all of our music gear to shows. The back seat of that van was hardly ever in the vehicle and mostly remained in our garage. A few years after that, we sold the van and bought a Dodge Journey.  That was my sad attempt to rid myself of the mom van. I love my Dodge Journey but now that we have two kids I'm realizing how much I miss the van....go figure. There's two things I miss the most....SLIDING DOORS and all of the space. Getting two children into car seats in our one car garage without sliding doors is a comical sight to be seen. We found an awesome 2015 Kia Sedona that we are hoping to purchase tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed and I will soon be rocking the mom van once more. This one is super nice and all black. I feel like that color ups the cool factor. I'll just keep telling myself that. 

Marin at week nineteen! 

Baby Sullivan | Week Sixteen

We always love trips to Costco. 

I'm late in writing this post for this week but that is pretty reflective of how this week feels already...and somehow it's only Tuesday. Ryan is on vacation this week but I'm not, which is always a bummer. He's also feeling under the weather and being sick on vacation is always pretty crappy. But, here we are. Tuesday evening. The older kiddo is in bed asking for who knows what to get her out of said bed. Little dude is finally sleeping in his bouncer and will hopefully do so for a while until his last feeding for the night. 

Sullivan is growing out of most of his clothes already and I need to do a major overhaul of the contents of his dresser drawers. Luckily, we've been given a ton of clothes but most of them start around 18 months or so. At the rate he is growing though, he will be wearing that size before we know it. 

I think he's starting to teethe a bit already. Marin was super slow getting even one tooth but I have this inkling that Sully won't be that way. He has grown exponentially fast already. But, we have had lots of drool lately, more fussiness than usual, and some super fun diaper blow outs. He has been stocking up the fun diapers for a few days and then we get to deal with the mess. At least I finally found a way to get poop stains out of his clothes. Thanks Pinterest! I owe you one. 

We also have been trying to have more of a constant schedule with him everyday. He was getting to the point of hardly napping at all and that was killing all of us slowly. I'm trying to be more diligent with feeding and napping schedules. With Marin, it was so much easier because she was the only kiddo. Now, we are shuffling Marin here and there, working all over the place. Little guy just kind of is along for the ride sometimes. But, our goal is to have him nap consistently in his own crib. I'm taking it one day at a time....

I captured Elsa in her natural habitat, through the backdoor screen. 

Yesterday I had my hair cut and colored. I went with a color and cut that I haven't done in a few years or so. It feels good. I needed a change and what better way to do that than changing your hair. It can be as temporary as you want it to be and I like that freedom. The funny thing though is that when I came home to feed Sullivan, he was just waking up from his nap. He opened his eyes and started crying. He didn't recognize me at first with the new hair color, poor guy! The entire time I was feeding him, he gave the side eye like..."I know you're my mom but something is different here..." He's finally warmed up to it but I didn't even think about that when I was sitting in the salon chair. 

Good Change

This week is a crazy one for me at work and now we just need to make sure that everyone in the house gets healthy and stays healthy. I'm on day 23 of the Whole 30....the home stretch. I'm pretty ready to be done with it, at least as strictly as I have been following the plan the past 23 days. I do know that I'll incorporate a good chunk of how I am currently eating into how I will eat in the future. I want to have freedom in the food I eat and how I take care of myself. It is an ongoing process pretty much all of the time. 

Week Sixteen.

Baby Sullivan | Week Fifteen

I was wiping the bottom of one of our adorabe children today and it hit me....this is where we are. This is part of who we are. This season of my life doesn't completely define who I am but it helps define parts of who I am. If someone had sat me down 10 years ago and told me that I would be married, working at a church, own our home, and have 2 small children under 4 years old...I probably would have laughed you out of the room. Back then, my grandiose vision contained dreams of traveling the world, playing music, taking photos, living in the northwest. My dreams didn't really consist of cleaning the bathroom, conquering mountains of laundry (how many people live in my house? I want to know!), dealing with toddler tantrums, and fussy babies. 

But, here we are. I am right here, in this moment of wiping bums and noses. I am right here in this moment of scrubbing down the carseat after Sullivan had a major explosion at the grandparent's house while I was working at church. I am right here, playing out in the leaves with my preschooler, holding the baby in my lap and watching Marin slide her Barbies down the slide. I am right here with the sun on my face, longing for this fall season to stick around for a while longer. 

Would I like to be traveling the world, being creative? Of course. But, I'm also totally content where I am right in this very moment. I never wanted to admit before that one of the callings upon my life was to be a wife and mom. I honestly used to think that was an excuse to not succeed in my career or passions. Now, I see it as one of the most important callings of all. I don't care what other people think about that anymore. Certain aspects of my creative life are in a stand still right now. I see that, I feel that pretty much all of the time. But, the fact that we get to raise our children without having them in daycare 40 hours a week is the biggest blessing we have right now. I still get to work full time but still get to be home with my kiddos throughout the week. I don't take that lightly. I am super blessed by a job that allows me to do just that. 

The next time I start to feel the ache of my former life before becoming a mom, I just need to open my eyes to where I am in this season. I need to be okay with reheating my coffee for the 800th time in the last few hours. I need to be okay with the sand dumped all over the living room rug from Marin's boots because that means that she was out playing and learning and living. I need to be okay with the 4:30am feedings and cherish them with everything I have because they will disappear soon enough. I need to soak in the mornings when Marin has to give me multiple hugs before sitting down to eat breakfast. 

Sullivan is fifteen weeks old today. We've had many diaper explosions the past few days. I've scoured Pinterest far too much for ways to get poop stains out of baby clothes. He's asleep next to me on the floor of the basement as I write this and we are surrounded by an explosion of toys, thanks to Marin. Tomorrow, we are bringing snack to preschool, I am a teacher for the morning, and Ryan and I are the music teachers. 

10 years ago, I didn't think my life would look like this now. But, I'm so grateful that it does look this way.