Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Six

This week has been a doozy, one of unexpected frustrations and financial burdens. It's almost strange for me to write these words because most people don't believe what I'm saying until I show them photographic evidence of the spring storm that totaled our car. Yes, totaled...

Tuesday evening, I was driving home from work ever aware of a dark storm rolling in. I knew that I should get home before it hit and that I might not be able to go and grab that drink with my lovely friend that evening at a local brewery as planned. The sky continued to get darker and darker as I made my journey across town to our home. 

We were able to get the mom van in our single car garage. I tend to not park in there very often so we needed to move boxes and a bunch of other stuff. As the storm was starting to hit, Ryan moved the van into safety. Little did we know what would hit next. There was a lot of hail and rain. We knew Ryan's car was probably going to hit with some gnarly hail but we didn't have a garage to pull it into in time. We got the kids ready for bed, potty time, diaper changed, teeth brushed, stories read. In the course of probably about ten minutes, the storm hit hard. 

After the kids were in bed, we looked outside to a sight I wasn't expecting. Our entire street (we live in a cul-de-sac) was under water. The water was reaching up our drive way. Our neighbor's mail box was almost underwater. Ryan's car was toast. If only we had moved it up on the driveway, it would have been safe. But, our car is ruined. We vacuumed out 25 gallons of water the next day. The city had to come and haul away all of the hail. I couldn't even drive out of our street the next day...in the month of May! Our neighbor's basement has flooded. Numerous cars have been totaled. We have all been picking up the pieces this week. 

I want to cast blame to our neighbor that loves to blow all of his yard debris and leaves into the storm drain pretty much every day. That probably has a lot to do with it and it irritates me that he's already back at it with his leaf blower. The storm drain filled so quickly that it couldn't handle the storm.  But, this freak storm obviously wasn't planned. So now, we have a rental and get to go car shopping. Big bummer. It's been a crazy week. 

But, even in the midst of this situation, Sullivan is growing like crazy and is forty six weeks old. He's so close to crawling and I can't wait to write those words...it will happen soon. I know it. We are giving him lots of floor time even though he still hates it. He's close. 

Sullivan also decided that he was done nursing this week. I was not ready yet and was hoping to make it to one year, even though we were only nursing once, maybe twice a day. But, we woke up one day and he just decided that he didn't want to any longer. He's our last baby and this mama heart wasn't quite ready for this abrupt change. Luckily I had been only feeding him once or twice a day so I'm not in nearly as much pain as I was when Marin quite nursing. Now I walk around smelling like peppermint oil because it helps ease the pain. At least I smell minty fresh. My little baby is growing up so quickly. 

I'm ready for a new week. I'm not ready to go buy another car but that's what has to be done. I plan on working with Sully a lot with crawling this week. Hopefully we will get some time spent getting dirty outside in the sunshine. Hopefully there are no more freak storms. Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Literally. 

Here's Marin at week forty six. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Five

I keep letting the weekend come and go before I get these posts written. We are on the home stretch....seven weeks to be exact...to when Sullivan will turn one. 12 months old. Holy cow. I did these posts for Marin as well, for all 52 weeks. After that, I let myself off the hook and only blogged occasionally. I would like to continue with our posts in some form but we shall see what they end up actually looking like. Anyhow....

This week I've really been thinking about what matters most in our lives. This is cliche...but life is short. We only have so much time here and I want to make the most of it. What that looks like for me: I'm still working on that. But, for the most part, that looks like time spent with my family and running after the things that I'm passionate about, living creatively. 

It's important to me to have a home for our children to grow up in and for us to come to as a place of rest. It's important to me to take better care of myself so I can care better for others. It's important to me to make time to be creative and live out that path in my life, the one that has been pretty silent over the past 4 years of my life. Family dinners. Getting outside and allowing our children to get messy sometimes. My clean house won't matter in the grande scheme of things. What will matter is if I experienced joy and learned something new with my children. That matters. 

Anyways...this week has been fairly normal for the most part. Marin graduated from her preschool class on Thursday and I can't believe we survived being a part of a co-op. We have to do one last clean up day and then we are done. I love that school but I didn't love the co-op requirements. Especially after my job change, it felt pretty unrealistic. Now Marin gets to enjoy the summer and it will be nice to have a break from rushing out the door twice a week to get her to school on time. She's going to a different school this fall across town and that will be even more of a rush I'm sure. Our preschool this year was pretty much across the street from our house. We are also already starting to research kindergarten because in all reality, that will be here before we know it. 

Sullivan still isn't crawling. I'm going to write those words until he starts moving. He will get it, I know he will. I'm ready now, little buddy! You can do it! He's growing leaps and bounds in every other area. He's becoming more vocal everyday. His expressions are getting super fun. He knows how to wave now. I just love him to pieces. 

I'm still nursing him once or twice a day. I nurse him early in the morning when he wakes up and sometimes again late afternoon. I'm just not ready to give it up yet. In many ways I am ready but in many ways I'm not. He is my last baby. I will never breastfeed again. That's a big deal. I know my supply has dropped a lot but for now it's our little moment once a day and I will soak it all in. My goal is one year and I want to make it. We are so close. I've already breastfed him a lot longer than I did with Marin. It's been pretty special for me. 

Here is Marin at forty five weeks.  It's crazy to me how different each child is. At this point with Marin, she was crawling everywhere and starting to say words but wasn't quite catching on to eating a lot of solid foods. Sully is the king of baby led weaning and loves food. No one child is the same and that's a good reminder. All in good time. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Four

I realized this morning while at church that I didn’t write out Sullivan’s weekly post yesterday. Oops! I totally forgot! But, here we are and I have some super adorable photos for you all.

First of all, it’s Mother’s Day. I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mother and my wonderful mother-in-law. Mom, you have been a constant support and guide in my life and I am forever thankful and blessed by your wisdom. Thank you for loving me so well and helping me journey through life over the years. Thank you also for being an amazing Grammy to our children. We don’t know what we would do with out you!

Reenie, Happy Mother’s Day to you! Thank you for raising your son so well and for taking me in as another daughter in your life. I also don’t know what we would do without you and I love having you in our lives and I know the kids feel the same way.

I am very thankful that both of our mothers are so close to home. Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Also, happy Mother's Day to my amazing sister. Gunnar is super blessed to have such a great mom like you. I'm glad we get to journey through motherhood together. 

Sullivan is forty four weeks old this week and time is flying, per usual. His little personality has really begun to start shining through lately. I keep feeling like I’m getting little glimpses of the little boy that he will soon become. He’s full of character and kind of feisty and I love him for that.

He still isn’t crawling but we are trying to give him all of the opportunities he needs to do so. I know it’s only a matter of time before he’s getting into everything and crawling all over the place. I know once he figures out how to do it, we won’t be able to stop him.

Both kids have been waking up super early this week and I know that’s mostly due to the fact that the sun is up so much earlier lately. I need them to sleep in...only a little! 5:30am is a little too early. That’s when I get mommy time and I need it! Everyday!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there. I’m right there in the trenches with you and I know beyond a doubt that my children are one of the best things to ever happen to me. They challenge me, they push my buttons, but they also bless my socks off.

For all of you moms today...go take a bubble bath, drink some wine. Leave the dishes in the sink at least until tomorrow. Go kiss your babies good night and sleep soundly feeling blessed, with full hearts. You deserve it. 

Here’s Marin at Week Forty Four!

Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Three

We have been back from vacation for more than a week now and most of our days are spent fairly similar from the one before and the one before that. I wake each morning in the routine of nursing Sullivan, walking downstairs to the coffee pot, and sitting in my chair in the living room, waiting and searching through the quite moments before the rest of the house awakens. 

Marin usually stirs anywhere between 6am and 630am. I try to keep her in her room as long as possible, constantly urging her to play with her ponies or turn on her little light and read a few more books before I have to leave my wonderful chair and start the day. I usually don't hold out for long. After she wakes, she helps me wake up Daddy and go get Sullivan out of his crib. Most of the time after I nurse him early in the morning, he falls back asleep, if only for a little while. 

Then we all have breakfast at the table in the kitchen. This is usually one of the only meals during our chaotic weeks where we are all sitting down at the table and eating at the same time, even if it's only for fifteen minutes  Dinner usually consists of me feeding the kiddos before Ryan gets home from work and then Ryan and I eat dinner after the kids are in bed. Someday, in a perfect world, I long to have family dinners on a weekly basis. I want to gather together and hear how everyones day was and actually all eat the same exact thing. Right now I feel like a short order chef that makes two to three different meal options on any given night. I also want more times spent with friends over meals. We had some friends over for pizza last weekend and it was so refreshing. The kiddos also enjoyed playing together. 

Depending on the day and if I am working, I either hop up stairs to finish getting ready or hop in the shower. Then we get the kiddos dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed. The next thing that occurs on the non-working days is that I do a quick clean of the house and then we begin our day. Cleaning is followed by Sullivan's morning nap....then lunch....then quiet time/naptime...then getting ready for dinner....eating dinner...tubby time....bedtime routine...

Lather...Rinse...And Repeat. 

Don't get me wrong, I rather enjoy the predictability of our days for the most part. In between meal times and nap times, we are working on trying to help Sullivan crawl. We spend a lot of time on the floor with toys scattered all over the place. Marin loves to color, do puzzles, watch some TV. Both kids would be outside all day if it was an option. I know I need to get them out much more than I do and I want to make that my goal on the days when I am home with them. Marin loves to ride her scooter and is learning how to pedal her bike a lot better now that she can confidently reach and push the pedals. Sullivan is perfectly content on a blanket out in the lawn surrounded by things he can throw around and chew on. They both enjoy stroller rides in the double stroller. 

Another consistent thing I usually enjoy for the most part is bath time. We only bathe the kiddos every few days unless they've really made a mess of themselves. Sometimes that happens and I am all for the need to wash dirty kiddos. That just means that they were living life to the fullest. Last week we had a first time parenting moment...Sullivan pooped in the tub. Luckily he was still in his little bath tub inside of the bathtub where Marin was. Had he pooped in her water...that would have been an entirely other situation. But, there's a first time for everything! I don't believe Marin ever did that. It was comical to say the least. 

Here's Marin at Week Forty Three. 

Portrait Eight

This photo was taken in March as part of my 32 Things Before 32 List, I am attempting to take one self-portrait per month...

This photograph singlehandedly marks the end of an era for me. It portrays a bend and sway in my work-life balance. I took this photograph on my last day of working for Vintage City Church. Around the beginning of the year, I kept feeling these rumblings deep in my soul, like little whispers of change. I ignored them for a number of months and kept continuing down my path of working from home and the office, constantly being on my computer or taking a phone call. I kept having a short fuse with my children (which honestly is still something I struggle with.) I was pouring myself out whole heartedly into a place where I was challenged and grew. The three and a half years I had spent there have been wonderful and I don't take them for granted. 

But deep down inside I knew change was coming. I started to prayerfully consider some other options. I was honestly sick and tired of being pulled away from my family so much when I was home or staring at a computer screen while my kids were scattering toys around me. Change was needed. 

I made strides to bring about change and ended up going back to work where I was before, a pediactric dental office. Working in a church is great and I know I was pretty dang good at what I did but after a while it wears on you. When you work for a church, you are in ministry for what feels like 24/7. All of the time. Never getting a break and time to breathe. I would look at my children sitting at the dinner table and it would hit me like a ton of bricks...

They are only little like this once. 

That's 940 Saturdays with them before they are 18 and are ready to leave the house. 

I have no desire for my children to always see me glued to my phone or my computer. Still there but never present. 

I now only work 3 days a week. Going to the office is like a little mom vacation and I LOVE what I'm doing. It feels good to be back in the business world, in the marketplace. Granted, we aren't nearly as financially stable as before but the trade off has been totally worth it. 

I get 4 days in a row now where I don't have to check my email or answer numerous phone calls. 4 days of freedom. I also have the opportunity now to be way more involved in the worship side of things at church and it is so refreshing to not have a million things and responsibilities on my plate now when I am there. 

The girl in this photograph seems almost like a distant memory to me now. 

I am so thankful for that. 

Hollen Adventures | The Denver Zoo

One of the other things we did over Ryan's vacation week was go to the Denver Zoo with Grammy and Ga Ga. Almost 3 years ago to the day, we made this trip with Marin and my nephew Gunnar. Looking back at those photos, Marin was so little! She was just beginning to walk around and was still in her infant car seat. It's amazing to me how much she has grown into such a little girl now, no longer a baby. (Excuse me while I shed a silent tear....) 

I didn't listen to my mother very well with this trip because she told me it was going to be pretty busy and I didn't think it would be...We went on the day when teachers all over Colorado were doing a walkout and protest. I fully support the cause but oh boy, the zoo was crazy busy! Since the schools were closed that day, every other family seemed to have the same idea we had. Even though it was super crazy and very hard to find a parking spot, we still enjoyed the time so much. 

Most of our day was spent walking around the zoo looking for the animals. Going during the day is always slightly disappointing though because a lot of the animals are not out. But, I love just walking around in the sunshine with my family. My ultimate goal was to not get anyone sunburnt though so I was on sunscreen patrol pretty much all day. 

We had packed our lunches and ate out on the lawn under the trees. By the end of the day, both kids has a bunch of stains on their clothes from oranges and ice cream. I feel that is a sign that fun was had and the day was well worth it. We had sandwiches, oranges, chips, nutter butters. 

After lunch we kept walking all throughout the zoo. We wanted to see the elephant show they put on but it was too packed. So instead we decided to get some ice cold beer for the adults and some ice cream for the kiddos. It was a great way to cool down and sit for just a bit. Marin said that her favorite part was the giraffes. I always like the penguins. Sullivan enjoyed most to  the day in the stroller and ended up falling asleep at the tail end of the day. 

Before the drive home, we stopped at Voodoo Donuts on Colfax. It's tradition. It took a long time for us to get our Voodoo Dozen because a lot of teachers had the same idea. But, they are always well worth the wait. 

I enjoy taking little day trips like this. We would love to go to the aquarium and visit the museum again. I just wish our work schedules allowed us to do more things like this more often. Someday our schedules will change and we will have a day during the week that we can spend as a family.  I am praying for that. Someday.