Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Five

I keep letting the weekend come and go before I get these posts written. We are on the home stretch....seven weeks to be exact...to when Sullivan will turn one. 12 months old. Holy cow. I did these posts for Marin as well, for all 52 weeks. After that, I let myself off the hook and only blogged occasionally. I would like to continue with our posts in some form but we shall see what they end up actually looking like. Anyhow....

This week I've really been thinking about what matters most in our lives. This is cliche...but life is short. We only have so much time here and I want to make the most of it. What that looks like for me: I'm still working on that. But, for the most part, that looks like time spent with my family and running after the things that I'm passionate about, living creatively. 

It's important to me to have a home for our children to grow up in and for us to come to as a place of rest. It's important to me to take better care of myself so I can care better for others. It's important to me to make time to be creative and live out that path in my life, the one that has been pretty silent over the past 4 years of my life. Family dinners. Getting outside and allowing our children to get messy sometimes. My clean house won't matter in the grande scheme of things. What will matter is if I experienced joy and learned something new with my children. That matters. 

Anyways...this week has been fairly normal for the most part. Marin graduated from her preschool class on Thursday and I can't believe we survived being a part of a co-op. We have to do one last clean up day and then we are done. I love that school but I didn't love the co-op requirements. Especially after my job change, it felt pretty unrealistic. Now Marin gets to enjoy the summer and it will be nice to have a break from rushing out the door twice a week to get her to school on time. She's going to a different school this fall across town and that will be even more of a rush I'm sure. Our preschool this year was pretty much across the street from our house. We are also already starting to research kindergarten because in all reality, that will be here before we know it. 

Sullivan still isn't crawling. I'm going to write those words until he starts moving. He will get it, I know he will. I'm ready now, little buddy! You can do it! He's growing leaps and bounds in every other area. He's becoming more vocal everyday. His expressions are getting super fun. He knows how to wave now. I just love him to pieces. 

I'm still nursing him once or twice a day. I nurse him early in the morning when he wakes up and sometimes again late afternoon. I'm just not ready to give it up yet. In many ways I am ready but in many ways I'm not. He is my last baby. I will never breastfeed again. That's a big deal. I know my supply has dropped a lot but for now it's our little moment once a day and I will soak it all in. My goal is one year and I want to make it. We are so close. I've already breastfed him a lot longer than I did with Marin. It's been pretty special for me. 

Here is Marin at forty five weeks.  It's crazy to me how different each child is. At this point with Marin, she was crawling everywhere and starting to say words but wasn't quite catching on to eating a lot of solid foods. Sully is the king of baby led weaning and loves food. No one child is the same and that's a good reminder. All in good time. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Forty Two

Sullivan has been living his best life the past few weeks. Everything is new and ready to be discovered. Family vacation was a whirlwind of fun for him as well. I'll blog about our trip to Estes shortly but for now, I wanted to to write about week 42 of Sullivan James. 

He still is not crawling. I've been trying to work with him as much as possible. We are attempting lots of tummy time, which he still really isn't a fan of. He will sit up and play for a long time but once he's on his tummy, he fusses and whines. Poor dude. If only he knew what adventures await once he is mobile. We are going to keep at it and I know one day it will click. I just don't want him to fall behind milestone wise. Crawling is also an important step in his development. Babies that skip crawling can face issues later on and I do not want to face that. He will be 10 months old next week and I'm ready for him to start moving around. It's time. 

He spent his first night out of town with us in Estes and did such a great job. I realized when we were there that he has only ever slept in the hospital when he was born and then in his crib at home. Marin has sleepovers with the grandparents fairly often, but we haven't tried that with Sullivan yet because he still wakes up pretty early to nurse. 

He slept in a pack n' play in our room where we were staying. He was pretty wiped out by the time he went down at night and slept decently well. The first night he woke up quite a bit though. He woke when I came in to go to bed. I picked him up to change his diaper and he was pretty confused as to where he was at. He realized that he wasn't at home. It was pretty cute. The second night he slept through the night without waking. 

He ate all sorts of fun stuff on the trip. He tried pizza. He had grilled cheese sandwiches and broccoli. He tried a little bit of pie. He was living it up, that's to be sure. He has been taking less and less formula and breastmilk lately. I know a lot of that has to do with how much actual food he is consuming. 

He had his first dentist appointment this week as well. He has four teeth and three more are swiftly on the way. We are now brushing his teeth as well. We found out that he has an oversized labial frenum which is an extra piece of gum flesh that comes down between the two front teeth. Once he is older, he will probably have to have it surgically cut so it doesn't cause issues later on with spacing and gum recession. It's pretty common in kids and a lot of time it causes the infant to not be able to latch well when nursing, like a tongue or lip tie. Luckily, we have had no issues with nursing from day one and I'm super thankful. 

Here's Marin at Week Forty Two. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Forty

I spy Sully. 

 My mind hasn’t quite wrapped around the fact that in 12 weeks, give or take, we will have a one year old son on our hands. How did this happen? I was just waddling around, pregnant as can be, awaiting the arrival of Sullivan James Hollen. This time last year, we were getting new kitchen appliances. I was on a rampage to get the house ready for his arrival. We replaced some closet doors. I touched up some paint. We hung the decor in the nursery. We got a new furnace and had air conditioning installed in our home. Nesting was kind of expensive but well worth it.

Now he’s here and I can’t imagine not having him in our lives. He is a little tank of awesomeness. He could pretty much eat most of us under the table. He sleeps pretty much through the night. He’s napping like a little champ as I write these words. Most people comment on how they hardly ever hear or see him cry. He’s a pretty great baby and I am thankful to be his mama, over the moon even. For the second child, he has been very easy. Marin wasn’t really a difficult baby by any means, but Sully has been a part of a seamless transition to having a family with two children in it. With Marin, everything was so new and unknown. Nursing her was always a bit of a battle. She was such stinker with eating solids and still is. She now is a feisty preschooler that pretty much runs this home, at least as far as she’s concerned. Every child is different, that’s for sure. Both of ours have been so different but wonderful in their own unique way. They both keep us on our toes. 

I took Sully to his 9 month old appointment on Monday. Luckily, this appointment didn’t have any vaccinations to speak of and I am super thankful for that. Most of the time, Ryan is by my side for all of these appointments, along with Marin. But, now that my work schedule has changed and we don’t have a day off together as family at the moment, I had to fly solo. Marin was a great helper and Sully did a great job.

He weighs 23lbs, 1 oz. He’s super tall and his head is also large. He is in the 95th percentile and above for everything. He mostly wears 12-18 month clothing and currently is in size 4 diapers.  When Marin started potty training she was in size 4 diapers. Sully is 9 months old and is not tiny to say the least. Sully even wore his first pair of jeans this week and I can't believe how old he looks. He still isn't mobile yet but the doctor wasn't too concerned. She told me to just make sure he gets plenty of floor time and he will move when he's ready. 

His little jeans. They kill me. 

The past few weeks have been pretty nuts with a job transition but I feel like everything is slowly falling into place. Working for 3 days straight, from 7:30am-5pm, is a long set of days. But, now I have four days off of freedom. Not having to work during naptime has been a wonderful addition to our lives. I’m not glued to my phone or computer anymore. Granted, I still have to clean the house and catch up on loads of laundry, but I’m with the kids and that’s what counts. Too bad we can’t afford a house cleaner right now because that would be so awesome. Also, if someone wants to come fold and put away the mountain of laundry that continuously resides in our home, I would be grateful. 

Here’s Marin at 40 Weeks.

Baby Sullivan | Week Thirty Two

I find it hard to believe that I am preparing for Marin's 4th birthday party this weekend. The gifts need to be wrapped, the food needs to be ordered. She's been growing up so quickly right before our very eyes and time needs to slow down a bit. As of this coming Sunday, we will have a four year old. Four years ago at this time, I was super pregnant, quickly passing by my due date, and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Now she's in preschool, lives life as a little sponge soaking up so many things. She also has been a great big sister to little Sullivan. Their relationship is continuing to really grow into something awesome lately. She likes to be near him. She likes to help me with him. It's pretty adorable. 

Arm rolls for days....

Sully is quickly moving away from the jarred baby food it seems. Over the past week, I have been trying some new baby led weaning recipes. It is weird to me that people use the term "weaning" for what we are embarking upon though. He's not weaning himself from breastfeeding, quite the opposite. Baby led weaning is pretty much the process of letting your baby feed themselves with solid foods that are prepared in a way that is safe and easy for them to handle. Sully loves to eat to begin with and he has embraced this new form of food with vigor. 

So far with BLW, he has had avocados, bananas, oranges, broccoli, green beans, roasted sweet potato, and his mum mums. I have been watching him closely when he eats and also watching for any reactions to any of the food. It is recommended to slowly start introducing foods so you can monitor any reactions to the food. 

We still have some jarred food that I will try to get through but he's getting to the point of not wanting to be spoon fed and just wants to dive right him himself. I'm a lot more daring this time around with what I have been giving him. Marin didn't try most of these foods until a bit later but I want Sully to have an expansive palette when it comes to food and not be so picky like his adorable sister. I think we are on a good path. He will eventually just eat what we eat. Granted, Marin doesn't even really do that but that's something I really want to work on. I would LOVE to not have to cook 3 different meals during one meal time. I also really want to share dinner together AS A FAMILY soon. Our schedules are so all over the place but someway, somehow...I want to make it happen. I think it's super important. 

Funny broccoli face. Derp. 

I am also currently shopping for new carseats for Sullivan. He is pretty much at the weight limit for his carseat. He actually might be above the weight limit...Little dude isn't so little any more. Lugging him around in that car seat has not been kind to my back either. I do like the convenience of carrying him around in the car seat but those days are going to be gone very soon. The crappy part about buying new car seats is that the new ones will not click in to a base like his current one does. What that means...every car he rides in needs to have a carseat. So, we are looking at purchasing two car seats for us and the grandparents need to get one too for Sundays. Budget wise, that's not ideal, but you aren't supposed to take those car seats in and out constantly. That's not how they are built. I'm researching like crazy for something budget friendly but safe and reliable. The one's we bought Marin are great but they are a little out of our price range at the moment. 

Week Thirty Two. 

Here's Marin at Week Thirty Two. 

Hollen Holidays 2017 | Visiting Santa Claus

I debated posting most of these photographs but here we are. I want to document this season of our lives and during this season, we have a chicken in our midst. 

This week, we went to see Santa Claus. I always go back and forth on where we stand with good ol' St. Nick but Marin's preschool offered a time to see him sans crowds at a local nursery in town. Some of the proceeds for photographs go to her preschool. 

I spent most of the week talking up the visit...."It's going to be so cool! You get to see Santa and tell him what you would like for Christmas. Also...his reindeer will be there!" It was going to be awesome. 

Marin spent the better part of the week talking about Santa Claus. She even made him a little Santa to give to him when we saw him. She was super stoked about the reindeer and kept asking if Rudolph and his infamous red nose would be present. 

Luckily, Grammy came with us. I pushed the stroller with Sully and my mom held Marin's hand. As we walked in, my mom mentioned that Marin was starting to squeeze her hand tighter and tighter. Sometimes Marin can be a bit of a chicken. New situations are hard for her sometimes. I always try to prepare her as much as possible. 

Sullivan did great with Santa Claus. He liked his beard and his big belt buckle. Needless to say, Marin was pretty traumatized, even to the point where I had to sit on his lap as well to get her to calm down. Sure Santa, let me awkwardly sit on your lap next to my freaked out kid. Lovely.  Luckily, most of her preschool class weren't there yet to see the situation. I am thankful for that. 

She did eventually tell him what she wanted for Christmas...a Barbie House. Do you know how pricey those puppies are!? Not cheap. She also gave him the little Santa she had made. 

I paid WAY too much money for a bunch of photos of my daughter crying but I'm sure someday I will be able to look back on these photos and laugh or use them for some sort of blackmail. Sorry kid.  I'm proud of her for trying it. Hopefully next year goes a bit better. Also...this was kind of a not so smiley St. Nick but I'm sure he has had his share of fun days and fun kiddos lately. 

But, we survived and I don't think Marin is scarred for life. 

See you next year, Santa Claus. 

Portrait Four

As part of my 32 Things Before 32 List, I am attempting to take one self-portrait per month. This one is for the month of November. Yet again, we are well into the next month and I am just now getting this posted, but here we are.

Someday I won't question whether or not this is it and if it's enough. Looking back, I will realize it was always more than enough and long for the things I missed or overlooked because I was too busy trying to be super mom and super human, all while having a clean, well kept house with fantastic vacuum lines in the carpet and the absence of sticky messes on the floor. 

Someday I know I will miss having these hangry humans intensely dependent upon me with their unwavering devotion and need for a parent, for a life giver, for a nurturer. Our home will one day be too quiet and I will long for the dishwasher that needs to be emptied and the little clothes that need be folded and put away in tiny drawers. I will miss the bath time at night where the kids plead to stay in for far too long and their fingers turn to little raisins. I will miss reading the same book over and over again at bedtime, a book that Marin can recite by memory alone, with the same rise and fall of our adult voices reflected in hers, just as we aim to bring each character from the page to life.  

In this season of life, I am woman finding her way once more, finding more solid footing. I am a wife, a mom, an employee. I am someone that at times tries to hold on to her past in fear of losing the creative aspects of my existence. I am someone that is working really hard to be present in the moment and not veer too far off course. I am trying really hard to find a life that is more than enough. 

Someday, dinner time will look different and I won't stand over a pot of boiling mac n' cheese, stirring it so it doesn't boil over. This is all for the picky preschooler that literally would eat the same thing every single night. I will miss making the chicken nuggets or coaxing her to eat just one more bite of vegetables all the while she absolutely refuses to eat carrots. 

All of this is it and it is more than enough. 

Portrait Four. 

Baby Sullivan | Week Twenty-Two

I feel like we are all finally slowly on the mend with all of the sickness that has been going around. Our coughs still remain a bit but we have actually been able to leave the house and go out in public without the fear of getting everyone around us sick as well. Both kiddos went to church on Sunday for the first time in weeks. Marin finally went back to school today. She has missed three classes now in the past two weeks. I'm feeling way better than I was a few days ago and I'm hoping we all stay well through the New Year. Fingers crossed and prayers lifted up. Having sick kids is no joke. Being sick while your kids are also sick is one of my least favorite things, especially when the kind of sick you are isn't enough to warrant you staying in bed all day but you just kind of walk around like a zombie, sniffling and coughing you way through the day. I also can't take super intense medicine to kick it to the curb because I'm still breastfeeding. 

On Sunday, Sully turned 5 months old! Sully is currently closing in on the 20 pound mark. He's going to outgrow his carseat any day now and we will have to figure out the next option. I'm thinking of using the convertible car seats that Marin sits in for him now and get her a little less expensive toddler convertible seat. None of them are cheap, at least the good ones. I'm going to miss having just the one carseat that just clips into the bases in our cars. Now we need multiple seats for multiple vehicles, including the grandparent's cars. I'm in the process of researching what our best options are. He will still be rear facing for a long time, but little dude isn't so little anymore. 

I went and got adjusted at the chiropractor last week because I've been having a lot of pain in my wrist, all the way up my arm, and to my back. I hadn't been in since right before I had Sullivan. Ouch.  Lugging around our huge baby is giving me great arm muscles but my body sure is taking a beating. I need to get in more often and really watch how I carry Sullivan around. He's just an adorable lug right now. 

I believe he also starting to teethe. As you will notice in most of these photos, the bibs have arrived. I get so sick and tired of changing his outfit every few hours because he drools all over himself. These bibs are super cute and stylish though and I love them. Now he can drool away in style. I have a feeling he will get teeth a lot earlier than Marin but we will see. Now we wait and I just pray that he isn't a biter.

The next few weeks are going to be filled with a lot of fun Christmas stuff with the kids and I am loving it. Experiencing this season through the eyes of a child is one of my very favorite things. This Friday, Marin's preschool gets to see Santa and his reindeer. Saturday evening, we are going to a Christmas light show at a local garden area. We are going to a light thing at a sculpture park next week. I plan on drinking lots of hot chocolate and bundling everyone up to see Santa and soak it all in. I also love that we get to do all of these things with our families. 

Week Twenty Two. 

Here's Marin at week twenty two.