Baby Sullivan | Week Forty One

Week Forty One. As of today, Sullivan is 292 days old and every day with him is a new adventure. I see a new piece of the puzzle in terms of his personality and the little boy he is becoming. I'm starting to see this little boy slowly coming to the surface. Soon he will no longer be our little baby but our little boy. I try to not think about that too much because I love the age he's at but I also know that time passes so quickly and he is growing up so quickly. 

We are not planning on having any other children so this is the last era of diapers and sleepless nights, of baby giggles and teething. In many ways, I am alright with living life beyond that season but in other ways, I am slowly starting to mourn the loss of that season. I'm soaking it in while I can. I am trying to soak in the moments when I am still nursing him, in the early morning hours or right before bed time. I can feel those moments slowly falling away. 

Sullivan has been loving all food lately. He is such a good eater and I am sure that he will pretty much eat us out of house and home when he hits the teenage years. Seriously, we will buy so much food! Just yesterday for lunch he had turkey, half of a grilled cheese sandwich, peas, carrots, and a mum mum. Good gravy. The kid loves to eat! He has been slowly taking less and less breastmilk and formula. 

He's definitely working on some more teeth. His nose has been running, his cheeks have been rosy. He's been gnawing on anything he can get his hands on and drooling like crazy. I can see three more teeth, one on the bottom and two on the top, just waiting to break through. He has his first dentist appointment next week with big sis. He has gotten teeth so much earlier than Marin ever did. 

He still is not crawling, not even a little. He is not a fan of being on his tummy. He will sit and play to is his heart's content. He will stand and lean on things for an extended period of time. But crawling, not so much. I know it will happen when he's ready but I'm ready. 

Ryan is on vacation this week and I'm excited to spend some time together as a family. Since I started my new job, I feel like our weeks move so swiftly and we don't really have any days or extended periods of time to spend together as a family. We have some fun stuff planned and I am so looking forward to it. I will still be working a bit but overall, we get some time together and it's much needed. 

Here's Marin at 41 weeks. 

Portrait Five

As part of my 32 Things Before 32 List, I am attempting to take one self-portrait per month. This one is for the month of December. Yet again, just like the months before, we are already into the beginning of the next month. 

I am now five portraits in on this series and I feel a certain level of frustration whenever I embark upon taking the next photograph. I am usually the one behind the camera lens, not in front of it. I hate to admit how many photos I took to land on this one for photograph number five. This past year has not been kind to my view of myself and I always feel like a photograph never really lies to you. But, here we are. Number five. 

I'm ready for a new year and a refreshed view of who I am. I spent half of last year pregnant and the other half trying to find my footing as a mom to two littles. I feel like I have spent the last 365 days caring for most everyone other than myself. Sure, I did a Whole 30 in October which gave me some light but other than that, I am sleep deprived and haven't taken very good care of myself. That's what I see in this photograph: a tired mom that has poured into everyone else's cup before my own. I am realizing, ever so slowly, that you can't pour from an empty cup. 

Let me say that again...

You cannot pour from an empty cup. 

I always love new years and how the world goes into goal setting mode. I make my lists and really start allowing myself to dive into my dreams. There's one thing I know for certain as we head into 2018, I must take care of myself as well. I'm not totally sure what this looks like yet but I'm willing to ask the hard questions to get there. I'm willing to work on setting aside the time to take care of myself and find rest. I want to be my very best for the people that I do life with. I want to feel good in my own skin. 

Portait Five. 

Johnny Hickman & North Carolina

I believe I am now a fan of the south. Southern hospitality is like no other thing I have experienced in my life. I just wanted to sit down, drink sweet tea and eat too much seafood, all while chatting with the locals. Everyone says hi to you. I like that. 

Ryan and I had the awesome opportunity to head to Wilmington, NC to play music for the one and only Johnny Hickman. We count ourselves super lucky to be able to play with such a long standing musician. His fans adore him, his music is excellent. Playing music with him is always such a treat and I don't take that lightly. 

We traveld to North Carolina to play at a private birthday birthday for one of Hickman's fans and friends. We were welcomed with open arms, didn't pay for pretty much a single meal, and got to do something we really love: play music with our friends. They brought in a back line for the evening which meant, aside from flying with Ryan's guitar, we didn't have to bring a single piece of music gear. They even worked super hard to find the same keyboard I use normally. I loved it. It was so wonderful and so thoughtful. 

It was heaven. I ate fish tacos and drank margaritas. I had an island mahi mahi at dinner. I had an omelet with crab and shrimp in it. I would have eaten any sea food that anyone placed in front of me. I miss that...when you live on a coast or near a coast, seafood is incredible. Colorado is about as land locked as you can get. Give me all the seafood. 

Our hotel was right on the ocean with a marina on the other side. There's always something about the ocean that makes me feel so many things, causing me to come alive and reevaluate so much of our lives. I write a lot of lists in my mind. I contemplate and mull over lots of new goals.  I think of living on the north west and all of the trying and life-shaping times I spent on the coast and its little towns. I hope that someday we will find ourselves living on a coast again. 

This was the first time we have been away from Marin for longer than a night. I was so exhausted by the time my head hit my pillow every night that I didn't really wake up like I thought I would. I was always on alert though it seemed. Every once in a while it would hit me...Where's the baby?!?! Then I would realize that we didn't have her there with us and I didn't need to worry so much. She was shopping and hanging out with the grandparents. She was definitely ok. It was just so weird not hauling around all of the baby stuff and making sure Marin was doing well. I felt like a limb was missing. 

Overall, we couldn't have asked for a better weekend. It was a nice time away for a few short days. We needed to recharge. Everyone we met was amazing and I am so thankful that I get to play music with such an amazing group of people. We hadn't even met the drummer until the day before the gig but Carlton gelled so well with us, it felt as if he had played music with us along. 

I miss the seafood already.

A Short Getaway: Estes Park

We have been hit hard this week. My family was devastated with some heart breaking news. Our bank account was also compromised. Some lucky person in Virginia somewhere got away with all of our money in our bank account and we are currently left staring at a nice, big negative number in our account until the bank settles the dispute. 

Needless to say, we needed to take a quick break from reality: Estes Park. 

We live in beautiful Colorado and never really give ourselves the opportunity to embrace the mountains and nature in all of its glorious beauty. We got in the car and drove to Estes. It was a much need breath away from all of the stresses and situations of our week and we were able to just REST. 

Estes Park, CO  

The Best Pizza Ever. It's called the "Faceless Italian." Vegetarian Pepperoni, Banana Peppers, and Cream Cheese.  Never had cream cheese on a pizza? It's horrible for you, but I promise, you won't be sorry. 

I bought a new idea notebook. 

I find more and more how important it is to take some time and just breath. Even though we feel like we've been hit on all sides this week, God is still God, we still have each other, and that pizza at Poppy's is there if I need to devour one. 

And so, we endure.