This is 32 | A New List

My final portrait from my series, taken on the eve of my 32nd birthday.

11, 699 days in so far in this thing called life, as of today that is. I had every intention of actually getting these words out into the open over a week ago when I rang in a new year of life but...life happened per usual. Work happened, raising kids happened, trying to catch up on sleep kind of happened but who are we kidding, really? 

I have a feeling that year thirty two is going to be a good one for me, one like I've never quite experienced before. Why? I'm not sure how to put my finger on it but this past season has been one of swift and immense change in just about every area of my life. I feel like this new year is going to be much the same and I'm kind of just along for the ride so far.

 Looking back upon my life over the last decade, I never really thought I would be where I am now. I'm back working at the office that I left 4 years ago and it still is strange to me to sit and work in that office once more. Every morning that I go into work, it still feels strange to put on my name tag and walk through those halls.  We have two children, which is still seemingly mind boggling to me in many ways. Becoming a mom has changed me more than anything else in my life. 

As of last week, we have officially transitioned back to the church we called home when we were newleyweds and into the years of our lives pre-babies. I have been trying to be intentional and cry out for my family in this season more than I ever have before. No longer working at church opened up my ears and my heart more to where God was leading us in this new season. He has lead us to return to where we once were. As with all decisions of this caliber, it has not been easy especially because many of th people I was in ministry with, I have been in ministry with for over half of my life. That’s a long time. But, sitting in our new (old) church home on Sunday, I was flooded with so much peace and I know we are where we need to be. Sometimes transition is hard and I have felt that in so many areas of our lives. But lately, I have felt peace the surpasses all of my understanding in this life and I know I just need to keep listening. 

Every year for the past few years, I have created a list of things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday rolls around, as it always does. Now that I am on my way into my mid-thirties, at least in a few years, I feel like it is expected of me to get my crap together more. My twenties feel very, very, very far away now and life looks completely different than I thought it would. Good different, but different nonetheless. 

Here is my list from last year. I have gone in and crossed out the ones that I actually accomplished. There are some things on this list that I have placed on the list every year and every year I don’t accomplish them, but here we are. I know many of you could really care less if I cross off items on my list, but I love things like this and I will probably continue to make these lists for a long time. 

Below is my list for this new year of life....I am now 32, which still seems odd to me in the grand scheme of things. But, I’m ready to dive in to this new year, full of hope even though so many things still feel like they are unknown. 

33 books
Read through the Bible
Go camping
Become debt free
Get another tattoo
Sell our house (This is probably the biggest undertaking on this list...) 
10 year anniversary trip
Family Trip
Holiday Bucket List 
Try Buki Yoga & Lekfit
Secret Thing #1 (Wouldn’t you like to know?) 
Fly in a plane
Farmers Market
Use the library more
No Spend Month
Drive in Movie
Find another side hustle
Fall Bucket List
Play a show or play FOCOMX 
Have pie in Estes
Intuitive Eating
Go to a concert
See the ocean
52 Blog Posts for the year
Stay at the Elizabeth Hotel
Get a massage
Finish a song
30 Day Challenge
Revamp the weekly cleaning schedule
Go meat free for a while
New pick up and tune up for my Martin acoustic
Family Dinner 2x per week and focus on meal planning
Make bread from scratch

This is 32. 

Maternity Leave Goals

I am a creator of lists. I thrive off of them and love being able to feel accomplished. I need this intensely in my life right now. Maternity leave has challenged me already and we are only a few weeks in. I don't do well with not doing much. I like to do things, to accomplish things, to meet my goals head on. I don't like not being able to drive, or really clean, or lift my toddler. Thanks, C-Section. It's been swell so far. But, we are getting there. 

Ryan heads back to work tomorrow and I'm trying to not psych myself out too much. We will get into a routine. We will see the other side of this transition. I will be able to shower someday without a baby bouncer in the bathroom and a toddler out in the hallway with her books. I need to give it time. 

One thing I am sure of though is that I want to soak in this time that I do have. I will probably never have this opportunity again. No work for many weeks and time available to spend with my family. These are priceless times. They will be gone before I know it. SOAK IT ALL IN. 

I want to set a few goals for my leave though. I read somewhere that it's wise to make small goals with low expectations during a season like this. Things will not get accomplished. Sometimes just hanging out with my kids will be more than enough. They need to be fed. They need naps. They need adventures. 

Here are a few things that I have been thinking about lately...

• Revamp our budget. 
• Organize our closets. We need to get rid of a lot of clothes that we no longer wear and I would like to not see my maternity pants any longer. 
• Work on creating a good newborn/preschooler schedule. 
• Start a workout program, slowly...and follow through. (Once I have been given the ok from my doc.) 
• Rejoin Weight Watchers and find a meeting that works with our schedule and two children. 
• Treat yo self (Any Parks & Rec fans out there?) Get my hair done, get a pedicure. 
• Have a few playdates/coffee dates with other moms and families. Get out of the house!
• Make date night a priority. 
• Redesign this blog. It's time for a fresh, new look. 
• Work on a few, very simple house projects. 

I know some people out there will think that I'm crazy, but this is how I roll. I do love a good list. 

Small goals, low expectations. 

What's In My Bag | Hospital Edition

Our bags are officially packed. We are officially as ready as we will ever be for this little man to come into the world. I'm due on Friday and now we just hurry up and wait. I remember this feeling from last time and Marin decided to take her precious time and wait until ten days after my due date to grace us with her adorable presence. I know a due date is just an estimate, more like a little suggestion to make pregnant mothers go a little bit crazy. 

I am a planner. The waiting and suspense just about kills me by this point but I'm trying to just tie up lose ends at work. Get the the house ready. And wait. And wait and wait and wait. Everyday I go to bed at night I wonder if we will be having a baby in the next 24 hours or not. So far, not. 

Last time we did this, I feel like I packed more? Maybe I did. I honestly don't completely remember but I feel like this time around, we are in a good place packing wise. There's one bag for the hospital and a canvas grocery bag full of snacks and random other items that we will throw in last minute. I plan on putting some minimal make up in and my flat iron. We will need to toss in the phone chargers. But overall, the bags are packed. 

I've also packed a bag for Marin because once I'm in labor and we head to the hospital, she is heading to the grandparent's house and will hang out there until she can come meet her new baby brother. 

Not pictured:

Minimal Hair Stuff

Gift for Marin/Gift for Sullivan

Phone chargers

Assorted, Minimal Makeup 

Now we wait. I'm ready to not be pregnant any longer and to meet this little guy. Come on, Sullivan! 

It's the Weekend | Number Fourteen

I've been pretty good lately about waking up earlier than everyone else in my house. I'm trying to savor these quiet mornings because we will soon be adding a newborn baby to our normal chaos and I'm sure I will sleep a lot less and everything will be a lot louder. I also have to get up to use the restroom a few times each night and usually one of those times is early in the morning. I lay in bed contemplating whether or not I should get up. My bladder always wins but then I find myself in our quiet living room, coffee cup in hand, and my Bible. I've been working through the Bible In a Year via the YouVersion app. I love it. It's simple. Straight forward. I've been reading a lot of the Old Testament lately which is always interesting, especially when there's chapter after chapter about how things should be built and sacrificed. I'm in Leviticus currently and it can get a little dull, but I'm pushing through.

This week has been a good one. We had air conditioning installed in our home on Monday and I feel like my life is forever changed. This overheated, very pregnant gal is super thankful for that update. Yesterday was the hottest day we've seen yet this year and I was, for once, comfortable in the rooms in our upstairs tri-level. Best money we've ever spent. We are done with home improvements for this year though. It's only June and we've replaced our roof, kitchen appliances, furnace, and air conditioner this year. No more spending money for a while. But, I love our little home. Sure, there's things I would change about but as of today actually, we have lived here for 7 years. Our first home. We've made a lot of changes and I am very happy with all of them. 

Anyways, here's some link love for this lovely Saturday. 

Money Savers for Boy Moms. I will need this. 

5 ways to survive entertaining as an introvert. I would like to think I'm not an introvert, but I really am. I'm not the life of a party but I do like when people I love gather together. 

It's pretty much summer time. Here are some fun, budget friendly ideas to keep kids busy this summer. 

A $2 lunch idea from Trader Joes? Sign me up. 

Money is a touchy subject. Sometimes we have things we want to say about money but we never do. 

How to create when you just don't feel like it. 

As a millennial, do I have an obsession with self-care? Interesting read. 

Have a great weekend! 

It's the Weekend | Number Five

Phew. This week has been a whirlwind of late nights at work for events. I'm ready to just chill at my house for the day with the kiddo. Nothing too crazy. Come tomorrow, the craziness will begin up again like it always tends to do.

Lately, I've have started to gather links of all of the places I have been perusing in the great, grand internet. There are plenty of people out there doing big things and small things. Some of these are practical, some are inspiring. Some just make me hungry. This week, we have an article on rage cleaning, eating healthier, and not waking up with regret. I also have been reading about podcasts and ways to become a better morning person. 

I tend to clean my house a lot. I thought this rage-cleaning mother article was pretty accurate.  

I saw these cheat sheets floating around Facebook this past week. I always need ideas for how to eat healthier.

I never want to wake up someday with regret.  These things are important.

Do you listen to podcasts? I do. Here's a primer on how to get started. 

I am normally a morning person because of the kiddo. Here's 8 things every person should do before 8am. 

I always have a thing for tortellini. Getting my family to eat more broccoli is always a win as well. This Lemon Broccoli Tortellini looks delicious.

Commonwealth and Do the Work: Overcome Resistance and Get Out of Your Own Way just became available for me at the library for my Kindle. Time to get my read on. 

Have a great weekend!

This post may contain affiliate links. When you make a purchase through those links, I am paid a small amount in advertising fees. Thanks for your support.

It's The Weekend | Number Four

I am ready to head into the weekend and finish cleaning my house. I've been trying to clean a little every day so hopefully this weekend will be pretty chill. This past week was a good, busy one, filled with doctors appointments, my lovely glucose test, working on Marin's new big girl room, and lots of work, work, work. 

Lately, I've have started to gather links of all of the places I have been perusing in the great, grand internet. There are plenty of people out there doing big things and small things. Some of these are practical, some are inspiring. Some just make me hungry. This week, I'm thinking about capsule wardrobes, bullet journaling, some great recipes, and some frugal tips for kid's clothing. 

I've toyed with the idea of a capsule wardrobe a lot, maybe after I'm out of maternity clothes land. Here's the Art of Simple's thoughts on the capsule wardrobe.  People are choosing to wear a "uniform" or the same thing everyday. 

I want to try this Vanilla Latte Coffee Scrub. My skin will thank me. 

I have used a Bullet Journal in many different forms over the past few years. Here is a great list of some supplies to help make the process even more awesome.   I would love to try some other pens like  Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens, Medium Point, Black, 12-Count or Masterclass Premium Dual Tip Brush Markers, Non-Toxic Water Based Double Tip Pens.

We sure do love pizza around here. I'd like to start making them at home more often instead of always doing delivery. Here's how to make a really good pizza at home. 

I am all about saving money and living more frugally. Kid's clothes can be super expensive and they outgrow them in the blink of an eye. I want to know how to save thousands of dollars on children's clothes per year. 

And finally, for all of you out there that know how to crochet....my daughter is obsessed with these pillows. I want one too. 

Have a great weekend! 

This post may contain affiliate links. When you make a purchase through those links, I am paid a small amount in advertising fees. Thanks for your support.

It's The Weekend | Number Two

We had our roof and gutters replaced this week. I feel like such an adult whenever I do homeowner stuff like that. Our house is looking good. Our bank account is looking sad. But, we were able to pay for our portion with cash, which is a big deal and helps me check off one more thing from my 31 Things Before 31 List. Hooray. 

It's no secret that I love to make lists of any kind and then check off the items on each list. Sometimes, I compile lists of things I've seen and read. Sometimes, I create lists of things I would love to do in the future or things I can do now to make our present even more awesome. 

Here are a few of those things for your weekend....

50 secondhand items you should never pass up. 

Parenting can be super pricey. I would like more information on how to raise a family without going totally broke. 

My pregnancy cravings and general love for PB & J sandwiches lead me to these cookies. 

I've wanted to make this hippy banana bread for a long time. 

Why "I Don't Have Time" is a poor excuse. This video made me think. 

Have a great weekend!

ONE LITTLE WORD 2016 | RESTORE

I woke up this morning and felt a bit more determined than the day before. A new light, a more articulated reason for striving and thriving. The end of one year and the beginning of another always causes me to reflect and seek out new, fresh determination. I realize it’s just a moment in time, influenced by the world making new resolutions and diving head first into a new calendar year. I love this time though just the same. A clean slate is what I live for..unknown and fresh like a newly fallen snow that hasn’t been touched yet and walked through. 

I am the kind of person that secretly longs for change and hopes for life that isn't just a mundane cycle of adulthood but something extraordinary. Full of hope, destiny, and a thirst for the things and journeys in our lives that we have yet to experience. For some reason, 2016 feels like it will be a year of great change, determination, and of renewal in my life and in the lives of those around me. I feel the low rumble right now, the build up, the grand entrance of things I cannot quite see. 

2014 was the year I became a mom and everything shifted. I spent most of that year trying to keep my head above water and make sure our daughter was growing and thriving. 2015 was really the year of me diving head first into a new job (at the end of 2014) and finding my footing again. Getting out of healthcare was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. 2015 was also the year though that I let so many of the creative pieces of my very existence start to fall away. One by one, minute by minute. Aside from church, I haven’t played any music. Long gone are the days of playing shows at dive bars at 12am. I haven't really allowed myself to sit down and write. I always knew the day would come when we started a family and life would shift in many ways but I feel like I haven’t even properly morned my creative loss. 

2016 is new. 2016 is fresh and open and unknown. I have never been more ready to dive in. The past few years I have decided on One Little Word for the year. Last year my word was LESS. That couldn’t have been more true. 

My word came to me this year a few weeks before the end of 2015. It has been resonating and soaking for a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited to embrace it. 

My little word for 2016 is RESTORE. 

re·store

rəˈstôr/

verb

verb: restore; 3rd person present: restores; past tense: restored; past participle: restored; gerund or present participle: restoring

• bring back (a previous right, practice, custom, or situation)
•  reinstate. reinstate, bring back, reinstitute, reimpose, reinstall, reestablish "the aim to restore democracy"

▪ return (someone or something) to a former condition, place, or position.

▪ repair or renovate (a building, work of art, vehicle, etc.) so as to return it to its original condition.

▪ repair, fix, mend, refurbish, recondition, rehabilitate, rebuild, reconstruct, remodel, overhaul, redevelop, renovate; More

I have a lot of things I wish to restore in my life this year. I feel like I have lost so many pieces of myself over the last few years. 

I want to restore my confidence and self-worth. I’ve set some pretty intense goals to meet before my 30th birthday this August. I want to take care of myself again and restore that which I feel like I have lost as the pounds have been packed on over the last few years. I will feel good in my own skin. 

I just started a new lifestyle, not diet plan. It feels good. It feels like home. I also just joined Jazzercise (I know how that sounds) but it is amazing and I can’t wait to go back! I will make time for my health. 

I want to restore my creative endeavors. I don’t need to play a show every weekend anymore. Those days are gone for now. I want to just get new strings and pick up my guitar again. I want to make time to write music for no one other than myself. Maybe I will book a show or two, probably without a band, but that’s a start for now and that must be enough. 

I want to restore quiet mornings and focus on getting up early enough to read the Word, journal my thoughts, and just breathe for a moment in the morning. 

I want to restore our financial freedom and have plans to destroy our debt and gain financial peace. Things will be tight. We will have to go without some things we desire, but it will be worth it. 

I want to restore or repair our home to make it the best that it can be. I truly believe that we aren’t supposed to sell our home until we are out of debt. I want to make the most out of the home we have and embrace it all. I want to get rid of so many things that we don't need. 

This has been a long winded post but I am so excited to see what this year brings. 

Start over with me, and create a new, clean heart within me. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.  May there never be even a shadow of darkness between us! May you never deprive me of your Sacred Spirit! Let my passion for life be RESTORED tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me.  Give me more of your Holy Spirit-Wind so that I may stand strong and true to you! 

Psalm 51:10-12 Passion Translation

A REVISIT | 29 Things Before 29

I am a list maker. Every year I make another list of things I want to accomplish in my new 365 days. This was my list from my 29th year. I did fairly well at completing certain items and not well at completing others. This past year I really worked on feeling good in my own skin. I loved getting a library card and I totally nerd out about books now, especially books that I don't have to pay for. We did some traveling but I still didn't stay in a cabin. I didn't do well with anything involving family photographs and picture of Marin. 

I am working on my 30 Things Before 30 List as we speak. It's almost done. I am excited. 

Here is a revisit......

+ Make grilled pizza. 
+ Fit back into my old jeans and rock them.  
+ Go to the Drive-In
+ 3 Day Juice Cleanse.
+ Get out of debt. Forever! (Close, but not done.) 
+ Holy Yoga.
+ Grow out my hair.
+ Take a trip to Estes for the day.
+ Pay off my van.
+ Have a minimalist mentality.
+ Redesign my blog/Complete Blog Life. 
+ Buy a new house.
+ Have one date night a month. At least.
+ Get another tattoo/have a half sleeve designed. 
+ Write & Complete 3 new songs. 
+ See the ocean.
+ Play a show with my band or any band for that matter. As of August 9th, it has been ONE YEAR. 
+ Get back into writing Morning Pages. 
+ Go camping or stay in a cabin.  
+ Whole30 
+ Try and have a green thumb 
+ Create a coffee table book of 52 Weeks of Baby Marin Posts. 
+ Get family photos taken by an actual photographer. (not just us using a tripod.)
+ Try PiYo. 
+ Finish reading all of the books currently on my nightstand (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and participate in this online book club. 
+ Treat myself to a Bliss Package at She She.  I tried the Day Tripper Bliss Package. Heaven!
+ Watch 4 documentaries.  So far: #1, #2, #3. One documentary short. 
+ Buy a new Mac Book. It's time. 
+ Get a library card.

Live Simply. Keep Moving.

Pardon the goosebumps. My house is cold today...

I feel under the weather today. My nasal cavity seems to have been inhabited with way too much snot and feels like it’s being hit with a train every hour or so. 

We actually turned our heater on last night and that causes me to look forward to cooler weather. I am not one for hot weather. I sunburn within the first few minutes out in the open without sunscreen. I want to be able to wear jeans, boots, and scarves all year long. I used to pretty much do that in the northwest, give or take a few hot days. It was perfect. 

I want to not be sitting at this computer all day. Yet at the same time I do because I enjoy stuff like this. But, part of me wants to shut off my phone and every other technological thing in our home for a day or two per week. Could I even do that? 

I know I should go downstairs and workout because there is a sleeping baby next to me and that doesn’t always happen this way. My muscles feel tired. My body feels overwhelmed. Once I workout, I never regret it, but the process of actually doing so lately has become a bit of a battle. I want it to just be something that I do, without having to loathe it. I want to eat whole, life-giving foods instead of reaching for the box of crackers and a diet coke. I want what I put into my body to mean something. 

I desire to live with so much less than we do. I think that’s why people living in the Tiny Home Movement are so appealing to me. Do I think that is realistic for us? Not really, but I wish it was. But, we really do have too much stuff and I feel suffocated by it at times. I really don’t need new clothes. I have boxes of them under our bed that don’t fit at the moment but definitely could if I just worked harder at it. We have closets full of stuff that I haven’t touched in two years. We have more than enough. 

The irony of all of my ramblings today is that I have a phrase tattooed on my body that hits home and acts as a reminder to all of these things rumbling around inside of my soul. 

Live Simply. Keep Moving. 

Plain and simple. 

I am at the point in life where I need to move towards these goals: 

1. Eat whole foods. 
2. Move everyday. Whether it’s a workout video, free weights, or a walk with Marin. 
3. Step away from the computer, iPad, and Netflix more often than not. 
4. Get rid of stuff. Learn to live with less.
5. Create a natural beauty routine and stick to it. 
6. Fall back in love with our little home. 

Friday's ramblings....

Currently Clicking: Week #25

I am kind of shocked that I have been able to keep this up for 25 weeks. But here we go! 

Each and every week, I gather links of all of the places I have been perusing in the great, grand internet. There are plenty of people out there doing big things and small things. Some of these are practical, some are inspiring. This week I am still on the decluttering train in the physical sense and in the sense of how busy we are and life lessons we find along the way. I have stumbled across a great blog about motherhood. I am still researching the world of couponing and want to dabble in the idea of a capsule wardrobe. 

1. As we continue on the "getting rid of stuff" train, here are 7 tips to speed up the decluttering process. The one I need to hear the most: "Don't confuse intent with action." My closet would probably agree. 
2. I stumbled across a new collaborative blog about motherhood. I need to get my perspective checked every once in a while when it comes to parenthood. Raising a child is tough. Not completely losing it in the process is all part of it. This blog is full of real moms with real thoughts, real words. It's good that someone is saying it. It all needs to be said. 
3. I am not 37 years old yet, but these 5 Life Lessons in 37 Years is still poignant and relatable. 
4. I read a lot about couponing and have dabbled in a bit. Most of the time I don't. But, this is a great post about finding coupons for organic products. Not many people go down that road. Most of the time, they just help you get way too many cans of processed food that you don't really need 8 of anyway. 
5. I find this extremely fascinating: How to build a capsule wardrobe. I believe I posted about this before, but this blog really spells it out. I have so many clothes in my closet that I haven't worn for a very long time. This concept is refreshing to me. Granted, buying new clothes every season seems a little outlandish to me, but the idea is neat nonetheless. 
6. I needed to read these words. I thrive far too much on being overly busy. Why we humblebrag about being busy.  Our time is very precious and being too busy can distract us greatly from some really good things in life. 

The Everyday: Week Two

Our lives were filled with the welcoming of new life this week. We consumed cupcakes with mustaches on them. 

I was awake far too early, way too many times this week. Coffee is my companion. 

I've never felt the need to work on "Plan B" so much in my entire life. How's that for vague? 

(Stewie. Soon to be a big brother.) 

(Don't mess with my kid. She's tough) 

(Celebrating new life. A baby shower for my sister.) 

(Slowly but surely, I am working through this.) 

(Sometimes you just have to have toast with almond butter and apricot jam.) 

(Early Morning Fuel) 

Currently Clicking: Week #24

Each and every week, I gather links of all of the places I have been perusing in the great, grand internet. There are plenty of people out there doing big things and small things. Some of these are practical, some are inspiring. This week I remember how much I like Mike Rowe. I am still obsessed with the idea of having so much less stuff. I have found some salad tips but also some different ways to enjoy mac n' cheese. I've spent a good deal of time lately researching making my own baby food. And finally, we all need some tips on how to make it through mondays every once in a while.......

1. We are Mike Rowe fans in our household. I will always remember the day I was in labor, we watched countless episodes of Dirty Jobs before going to the hospital. Rowe also has a way of looking at the way we work and why in a way I can respect and promote. Here are 12 Points in Mike Rowe's S.W.E.A.T Pledge- Exactly What Americans Need To Regain Its Can-Do Spirit.  My favorite: Don't chase your passion, take it with you. 
2. I need to reignite my "getting rid of stuff" flame once more. I had great drive for two weeks and need to get back on track. I need this....Let it Go: How to Let Yourself Finally Get Rid of Things.  This week my goal is to go through our office closet and bookcase. I can do this. I am always looking for more ways to simplify our lives. Here are 5 blogs to help you lead a minimalist lifestyle. 
3. During my work week, I have been trying to eat a salad for lunch everyday. It keeps things light and healthy. I am always looking for different salad recipes or way to approach the process. Here is a round up of salad making tips. I also made roasted chickpeas last week to put in my salads. It was a nice change of pace. 
4. I am going to try my hand at making baby food this week. Marin is all about the spoon lately and really isn't too keen yet on feeding herself (i.e. Baby Led Weaning.) I've been researching this like crazy. Making your own is cheaper, healthier, and you know exactly what is in your baby's food. Here are some of the resources I've been using this week. The Baby Food Breakdown.  How to make a week's worth of baby food in one hour. Removing the "huh?" out of starting solid foods.  Baby Food 101. 
5. I needed this this week. Marin was up way, way, way too early on Monday morning. Joy the Baker's 11 Ways to Get Through This Monday. 
6. Who doesn't like mac n' cheese? I recall being very pregnant and having cravings for the stuff. Here are 10 ways to unhand Annie's Mac & Cheese. Yum.