Day Four & Five | In-Between

Throughout this process of recording a new record, I have actually gotten surprisingly a lot more sleep than I expected. Most of our nights ended fairly early in the grand scheme of things. I still haven’t been able to sleep past seven most mornings though because my mom brain is still fully in motion. My body aches from recording, from stressing over things out of my control, from trying to soak it all in before it slips right back through my fingers once more. 

Day four began with finishing up tracking the vocals for the last two remaining songs. I stuffed myself back in the vocal closet and sweated my way through each track. I am really proud of the backing vocals that I wrote for this project. I have always had a fairly difficult time writing harmonies that I sing with myself. I’m so used to backing up male voices that this territory is fairly new to me. Ryan also added some percussion and flavor to the songs. 

Day four brought with it my dear friend, Zach. I have spent the last few months of my life waiting for the day when we would be in the same room as one another and not 1200 miles apart trying to send each other voice memos via our phones of tracking ideas. If there’s anyone in this world that understands how I tick musically, it’s this man. Our friendship spans over a decade and I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have play guitar and bass on a project. He came in and added so much goodness that caused me to get out of my comfort zone and shaped the songs in a way I know I never could. He is the missing piece to these songs that are so close to my heart. I never wanted the days to end because I knew that got us that much closer to being so far away once more. I will miss him very much, until our paths cross again once more. 

Playing and creating music with people as good as this causes my heart to just ache. I realize how lucky I am to be able to come up and here and do this project. I realize how much I want these people to be in my life for a very, very long time. When you create together, you are more attached to each other. I think that’s why Ryan drumming on this project is so great. Being married, it’s like we have this second sense about songs, even when tracking live and not being able to see one another at all. Music really does bring people together and I am so very thankful for that and it will be something I treasure forever. 

Day five brought some more recording time, mostly guitars and bass. I also got to track some organ on an old pump organ. That's a lot harder than it looks. I kept having to remember that I need to keep pumping my feet so that sound actually continued to come from the organ. 

We didn’t get a ton of tracking done on this day but it did give us the opportunity to head to Portland. I love that city so much. Every time I get to go back there, no matter how long or short of a trip, I also try to soak it in. We went to Powell’s, bought too many books and then had dinner at Killer Burger. Beer was had. I ate a burger with peanut butter on it and that’s truly a heavenly experience. More beer was had after we got back into town. I soaked in every moment that I could. 

Day 4 & 5. 

Day Two & Three | Driving & Beginning

I figured that since I started writing about this trip and a whole fifteen or so of you faithful readers actually read it, maybe I should keep going. This little blog has been silent for nearly a year. In a year many things occurred....new jobs, selling our home and buying another, birthday parties, the holidays. There's a great, gaping hole in the blog of posts that went unwritten. Life happens a lot sometimes and things fall to the side. It will all be okay, of that I am sure. 

Let's keep moving, shall we? 

Day two mostly consisted of driving and more driving. We stayed the night in Twin Falls, ID after the first day of driving. I hardly slept that night in our hotel. I couldn't shut my mind off no matter how hard I tried to. My mind was filled with song ideas and wondering what it would be like to record with this group of people once again. We have a decade between us and I couldn't make myself rest for even a few hours. It was long night, drawn out in between my tossing and turning. I was thankful when my alarm went off and I could start getting ready for another day of driving. 

We woke early and headed out quickly. The road starts getting a lot more interesting as you get closer to the northwest. Everything slowly starts to become green and a bit more hilly. A good chunk of the second day was on the freeway right next to a river, which definitely beats driving through the likes of Wyoming where everything is just so flat and open. 

That evening was spent eating hamburgers and catching up with friends that I haven't seen in 4 years, since the last time we were up this way. I always like how we just pick right back up where we were before, as if there isn't this great expanse of life lived between us and our families. That feels good. Those are the type of people that will always be in our lives in some capacity, no matter how small. 

Day Three we headed into the studio, up in the country of Rainer, OR. I've known Stephen for a long time and being able to create with him once more is a real treat. There's people that know how run sound and record music, and then there's Stephen. He's a wizard when it comes to this process and understands the importance of a song having a good feel. He knows how I tick as a musician probably better than most people. 

We were able to get all of my scratch vocals, my main instrumentation, and drums tracked yesterday. 5 songs in from the afternoon into the evening. I'm proud of us. We are ahead of schedule and that puts my mind at ease. Being here, it almost feels too easy. Too good. Too much for my heart and soul to take but I desire to just soak it all in with everything that I have in me. 

I miss our kids a lot. We have been Facetiming with them during the day and any time I see another little kid, my heart aches. I welcome the little break, but man...this mama misses her kiddos. Ten years ago, I would have never thought I could feel something like that, but here we are. They are in great hands and we will be back before we know it but I still miss them. 

Today, we are hoping to get some of the final vocals done and then my dear friend will be coming up to track bass and guitar. This is when the fun really begins. I've had all of these songs just knocking around in my brain and heart for many years. Now they are coming into fruition and I can't wait to see what he adds to them. I love watching the layers start to pile up and the songs begin to morph into something grand. 

Also, it's overcast here and not a billion degrees and I love it. 

That is all. 

(Most of these pictures were taken by Ryan.) 

Day One | On The Road

Life moves swiftly. One day you’re a college student, staying up way too late, playing as much music as you possibly can with a group of people that will forever leave a mark on your life. Then the next, you are waking up far too early, married and making sure that your kids survive and thrive through their lives thus far. Life is now filled with changing diapers, making little meals that mostly go uneaten, and working for the man. Life is also filled with finding little pockets of time to pick up my guitar, usually at nap time or staying up far too late because I feel the need to figure out a lyric or melody that I haven’t been able to shake. 

This is me. I am a creative being that has once again become restless yet hopeful. 

Today, I am setting out from the ordinary in hopes that I can create something of worth once more. Today we are on the road to the northwest, the place that held my heart so tightly for so many years. Those years seem very far away to me now, over a decade has passed since I lived there and immersed myself in the music. Thankfully, some of the friendships I gained while there are still in my life in whatever capacity they can be. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and whoever they are, I think they are correct. 

The life I now live is a very good one, I am certain of it. But, I also know that there is a constant whisper hidden deep within me to create and play music in whatever capacity that I can. I know that I can never fully run away from those whispers, they are a constant companion in my life no matter how hard I have tried to ignore them in the past. I couldn’t stop if I tried. 

We are on the road and heading towards the place my heart longs for more often than not. I am going to record an album with people that have shaped my life in so many ways. I have been working my tail off the past couple of months in preparation for this project, dusting off my guitars and kicking out the cobwebs of my musical abilities. I feel rusty but I am hopeful that once I am back in the swing of things, it will flow from me like a second nature once more. 

It almost feels like we are currently driving into the past. Every mile gets me closer to the person I once was but now I am older, hopefully wiser, and ready to dive in fully with abandon. We are away from our kids for nine days and I hardly know what I should be doing with myself. In many ways, it feels like if I don’t do this project now, I probably never will. But, I know that my children are always watching and they get to see their mom following after her dreams and doing something she believes in. This is important work and I refuse to take that lightly. 

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.....So if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s a good sign. It shows you what you have to do.” 

-The War of Art, Steven Pressfield 

Baby Sullivan | Week Eleven

Baby Sullivan is most definitely going through another growth spurt. I'm certain he is over 15 pounds already since his  2 month appointment at the beginning of September. He's also not been sleeping quite as well as he has been. I'm just trying to take every night as it comes. On Saturday, his was up every 2 hours all night, just like when he was a newborn. I worked on Sunday morning and had to get in the shower at 5am, be at church/work by 6am. Needless to say, I was pretty dang tired. 

I think he's growing so quickly and he has just been more hungry at night lately. I miss the nights where he goes to bed at 9am and wakes up once around 4am. Let's go back to that game plan. This mama is T-I-R-E-D. 

Our weeks are flying by and there are some good, new things on the horizon. I've had some answered prayers lately and I'm so thankful with the direction I am heading in the music realm again. No, I'm definitely not playing any shows or anything like that, but I do have the opportunity to do something I love and help support my family while doing it. Win, win. It feels like home already. Every little bit helps me not feel like I've lost myself once I became a parent. 

Sully initiated Great Grandma on Friday by pooping all over her lap while we were visiting for our weekly lunch with them. He had just eaten and was starting to do his business. Next thing I know, I look over at them and my Grandma has poop all up the side of her. It was an epic blow out. I'm just thankful I wasn't holding him at the time because I didn't have a change of clothes for myself. Diaper blow outs are always so fun. Luckily, I don't believe we ever had a diaper blow out in the car seat. I shouldn't jinx it....

I'm ready to get out the fall decorations this week. I want to carve pumpkins with Marin and maybe visit a pumpkin patch. I want to take a mountain drive to see the fall colors. I'm ready for cooler weather and hot coffee. September has been treating us well and I love the groove we are falling into. 

Week Eleven. 

The Great Road Trip | Day 5 & 6

Clearly, I am behind on my posting considering I am sitting in my living room with Geoff the cat next to me. But, I want to document our trip. The last few days were a total whirl of goodness and I don't want to forget any of it. 

After a day spent in Seaside, OR on Day 3, we hit the road for Longview, WA. Longview will always hold a dear place in my heart. I moved out there, blindly, in 2005. Back then, I was in a pretty awesome band that was heading to the northwest to record a record that pretty much no one has every heard. After we tracked our songs, I stayed in Washington. The years I spent in Longview were life-shaping. Heartbreaking. I learned more lessons than I care to count but I truly don't regret a single moment spent in the beautiful northwest. I came away from that season in my life with friendships that I still have today. So much of me wishes we all lived closer together and could just go hang out at the coffee shop all day like we used to. It was like our very own version of Cheers. We had some good times. I made some pretty big mistakes. Overall though, I am who I am 

because of this little town in the Pacific Northwest. 

Ryan and I had been wanting to be spontaneous somehow on this trip. I am calculated. I am boring most of the time and prepared for whatever comes our way. We decided that if it all fell into place, we would get tattoos done by Scott Spears at Unruly Tattoo. Eight years ago, Scott gave me my first tattoo and 3 more after that. He's a down to earth kind of guy and a great tattoo artist. All of my work from him has held up better than a few of my others. 

I didn't think it was going to happen due to scheduling, but we received a call while in Seaside that he had some availability and we decided to go for it. This was Ryan's first tattoo and my 8th. (Sorry parents....) I wanted to get something for Marin. Her name means, "Little Queen of the Sea." An anchor was fitting. It was a great experience all around and I'm so glad Ryan finally got to experience it. Getting tattoo is a pretty crazy experience in itself. 

Later that evening, we went out to our very favorite pizza place Bruno's and ended the night with some frozen yogurt with friends. I am so thankful that I was able to see everyone on this trip. My heart is full. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, we woke up and got ready. We drove up the hill I lived on for my first few years in Longview to the Hopkin's house. They took me in when I didn't know anyone, housed and fed me for 2 years. They are an amazing couple and I count myself very blessed to have journeyed through life with them. They live in a home that overlooks the town and the view is still as amazing as I remember it. We talked about life, prayed, ate great food. I always walk away from their home feeling encouraged. 

The afternoon was set aside for my for an activity that is good for my soul: recording music. It has been a long time, a few years actually, since I have found myself in a studio recording my own material. Life has gotten in the way. We had a baby. Everything changes after that and so does your schedule. Years back, Stephen recorded my first solo record. Now, he has a studio in his home and still records a ton of people. Our friend, Josh, also joined in on the recording and totally rocked the guitar and bass. 

I felt so alive. I love listening to a song come together, layer after layer. You write a song and for so long it sits in your brain, soaking. You hear parts here and there but until someone else come along and solidifies a line or instrument, everything is still just an interpretation. I've had a few songs that have been unrecorded for the past few years. We tracked two of them. You can listen to them below...

NOVEMBER (just me and the keys)

HONEY (full band) 

We went to bed after day 5 and my heart and soul felt like they could burst. Music wakes me up. I am so thankful for the friendship that I still have in Longview, even through all of these years. I wish we could just hang out and record music all day, everyday.