Obsessed

I'm in love with my new camera. Seriously. Lovely.

If..

I had chose one artist to listen to for the rest of my life and only them....

Without a doubt it would be this man. Love.

I'm pretty sure I will be covering this song (the first video) in the very near future.

He also is a poet and a painter.

Love.

Live the Questions Now

I'm Back, originally uploaded by Baily Hollen.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions”

Rainer Maria Rilke

I have no words...

It's going to be one of those weeks...

Growing Old

I haven't done a you tube video in forever....

I sat down and wrote this song a few days ago. I'm sure it will probably continue to morph into many different things. It is very rare I can sit down and write an entire song; VERY RARE. I usually have a couple ideas swimming around in my head, but once I get to the point of getting all of them out, it turns into quite a process.

(Also...please forgive the horrible quality. You'll get the gist of it.)

If you are interested, you can find me on youtube here and on myspace here.

Growing Old

I got

too many lessons learned

too many bridges burned

I can’t just throw it all away

I ran

to many different things

Our hearts break

and now it rings

out in the darkest night and cold.

And pains not growing old.

I spent

many nights on the porch

contemplating the score

between my heart and my loss

I found

the past had taken course.

back to where I was before

And a life the lives bold

I traveled a million miles away

Try to get back to the place where my heart had stayed

but it’s written on the wall

I can’t run from you at all.

I strive

in the battles lost and won

our work is never done

we live the questions now

I know

that the flood will surely come

our lives will be undone

as we wish for days of old.

The pains not growing old.

Looking Forward to Friday..

I also get to play with this guy. Matt is one of my most amazing friends and is my favorite local songwriter. Seriously. Good.

Consumed By Promise

There is a certain level of hope that rests upon the hours of this morning. A friendship that was once so strong then lost, now is slowly being revived. It only took me getting to the place of laying it all out on the table. This is how I was. This is who I am now.

It feels very good to get that HUGE weight off of my chest. It is a very frustrating thing to have demons from your past effect your present so often; even when you know that you are very far from the person they are attempting to haunt from your past. Just the fact that I can sit here and write these words brings me great comfort. It is the grand realization of who I was in the past few years and how I am no longer that woman that I once was. I am no longer that little girl that lost so much. God has broken me to the point of being a new person. I am simply blessed because of that fact. I wouldn’t change any of it, for I know I would not be able to live out my life as I am called to in the now. The past built much of who I am now and tore down much of who I was then that needed to be broken and rebuilt.

The past still haunts at times. But, I am alright with that. It causes me to continue seeking, to continue believing, to living CONSUMED BY PROMISE.

Consumed by promise.

That phrase has hung on me the past few days. The idea of being consumed is living with something that is all-encompassing, all around you at all times, always present, always prodding, always vibrant and living. I read through a few of my old journals from years past. I witnessed the rollercoaster of the last few years, the triumphs, the tears, the intense times of brokenness. But, there is one thing that rings out, boldly reaching out from every page, I am called and I know that I cannot ignore that.

What does that look like?

At times I feel like I know what it looks like, like I have figured it all out. I never do .

God is doing some big things in all of us lately. Things I’m really stoked about, things I can only dream about and pray about for now, things that we are being broken of.

I’m living consumed by promise today. Consumed by the fact that God has it all under control, even when I think I do (which usually means I don’t), to dreaming of our future plans and what that may hold (which is pretty broad, I know), to knowing that even in some our darkest times, he never let us go. Ever.

I feel as if we are simply traveling the day to day, with only a glimpse of what is set before us, but we believe in the promises enough to endure and to seek. Even though we can't see very far, we know that we will reach out destination.

I can't wait.

One Mile Forward, originally uploaded by Baily Hollen.

When I quit asking, I quit seeking.

When I quit seeking, I quit living.

Well...

I'm one happy girl this evening. And my husband rocks.

I'll be receiving this piece of awesomeness in a bit. :)

Project #4

Today was quite significant for me in the craft world. I sewed my first, well anything really. It felt like quite the accomplishment! I now have a new apron! :)

A deeper blog post is coming soon. I promise. Many things are stirring inside of my heart.

This Makes Me Smile....

Project #3

This project was really fun. I took the two original projects and combined them into one.

I like the idea that I can change out the photos whenever I want. I also just ordered some film for the Mini and they will work perfectly as well.

Project #2

This was quite the time consuming task. Wrapping all of that yarn took quite a while, but I love it! It will match my office perfectly! :)

I like being crafty.

And I can't wait to use some of this fabric I have been collecting. Our house is being overtaken and I'm entirely ok with that.

Upcoming Shows

Jan 23: The Meadowlark (Denver) with Erik Rodoulph and Lifeboat Etiquette

Jan 29: Everyday Joe's with TBA

Feb 5: Everyday Joe's: I'm playing keys for Lifeboat Etiquette

Feb 12: 3J's: I'm playing keys with The Nurses

Feb 26: Benefit @ Everyday Joe's featuring The Piggies and The Nurses (playing in both bands)

Feb 27: Spotlight Music @ 3 in the Cafe

March 2: Odells Brewery: Tuesday Night Benefit

March 17-21: SXSW? (Hoping and Praying)

March 26: 3J's: Playing keys with the Nurses

(You can also find these shows here or the on my sidebar of the blog.

2010!!!

As promised, here is the list of goals for 2010. Many of these will probably morph into other goals, many will probably be included in the millions of to do lists I will pen in this brand new year, many will encourage me to try new things and go new places.

All in all, I'm REALLY excited for this new year. Music is good. Marriage is good. My life is full of blessings.

Here we go! This might be a long post.....

Read and learn from this book.

Get rid of so much of the stuff that I don’t need or use anymore. My closet is a horrible!

Release our new EP, have a release show!

Help this cute boy record a record

Play in this band...

and this one.... THE NURSES

and this one...

Play here. (Even if it’s with another band, I don’t care!)

Learn how to use this little piece of awesomeness I got for Christmas.

And use this....

Complete all of my projects for this! So excited!

Be better to myself. Get more sleep, eat healthier, exercise more.

Get connected more at Joe’s. Build the kingdom.

Upgrade my photo equipment and keep working on a photography business.

Go thrifting A LOT.

Learn how to crochet!

Take a road trip. Or two.

Organize my house. And keep it as close to its organized state as possible.

Fix my bike and actually ride it!

Walk more. We live downtown for crying out loud!

Read more. Lots more.

Less TV. It doesn’t benefit me in any way. But, I really do love HGTV and Glee. :)

Fall more in love with my husband every single day.

Take time to have quiet time in my busy schedule.

All images are from me or from WeHeartIt

Looking Back at 2009

Before I get immensely excited about telling all of my goals for 2010 to the blog world, I decided that it was very necessary to look back on all of the amazing things that occurred in 2009, what a life changing year it was!

Last January, Ryan and I took a trip to my beloved Portland. One year ago today, we were on the road heading to the northwest. I dearly wish I could say that is what we are doing today, but sadly, it is not. I miss you, dearest northwest.

In February, I quit working at the most amazing coffeehouse on the planet, but began a new challenging job in a field I didn't think I would ever pursue. I began as a financial administrator for a a dental office. (Note: It is probably the most rock n roll dental office you will ever witness in your life.) I had moments of wanting to pull out my hair and wondered why in the world me, a creative, artsy-fartsy individual deemed it a good idea to go into a job with so many numbers. But, I'm glad I did.

I also have joined a number of bands this year. I love being able to just go help someone else out with their project and just be a musician for a change. It is so challenging, but I love it. I joined this band in the Spring of 2009. They are an amazing group of gentleman that are mega-talented!

The Nurses

The month of May consisted of us running around like headless chickens while preparing for a wedding, bridal showers, and the anticipation of beginning a new life together. I am blessed.

On June 13, 2009, I married my best friend. The most amazing day of my entire life. We then went to San Francisco for our honeymoon. He is the most amazing man I have ever known.

July was a month of beginning married life and moving into a place we could call our own. The process was a bit longer than expected, but well worth all of it.

The next month consisted of playing a Battle of the Bands competition against a 15 bands from FOCO and winning! It was so enjoyable!

Those couple of days opened up a realm of possibilities for us as a band. We won some free recording time, got my record on college radio, even had a radio interview! 2009 was a good music year.

We started recording at Pigpen Studios. This experience has opened up so many opportunities for me musically.

In October, I changed my job title. I know that the change was the best thing for me. I got my own office, now work as a corporate administrative assistant and do a lot of HR stuff. The position is FAR more suited for me and I still get to work for an amazing company.

The past few months have been spent continuing to work on our record, playing solo shows, doing quite a few more photo-shoots, having our first Christmas together, joining another band called the Piggies, playing with the Riflemen, and dreaming about 2010.

2009 was an amazing year. Looking back, I can't even imagine how my life got to all of these amazing places, especially since I went through a couple of very challenging years prior to 2009. Redemption rings true. I am truly blessed.

2010 goals up next.

Stay tuned.