The End of One Thing, The Beginning of Another

Nowadays, not very many people can say that they have worked in the same job for 35 years. Not very many people can say that they stuck it out, worked their hardest, and lived a full life. I feel like in a lot of ways, longevity like that is a lost art. So many people nowadays start one job and are on the to the next the blink of an eye. 

Not my dad. He finished strong. Now he's ready for whatever else life has for him. 

I was able to celebrate a major milestone in my father's life on Monday: his retirement. It's pretty crazy to think how many years he has spent as a firefighter. He has been a firefighter longer than I have been alive...35 years of his life have been spent in this career, this life. 

When I was little, I used to try and not think too much about what my father did for a living. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me most days. I remember a few nights waking up and praying for him because I wasn't sure what was going on but I was sure that he was probably heading into a burning building, or on his way to car accident, or something else that most people will never witness in their lives. I'm certain my dad has seen many things and been in many situations that he will never tell me about. 

The respect I have for this man is unending and massive. He has sacrificed his life over and over again with every fire he has fought, with every crew he has fought those fires with. He has always stood strong, fought hard for his crew, and worked hard. I am honored to be his daughter and to have witness him throughout the years as he went to work day in and day out. 

On his last shift, firefighter crews from all over Fort Collins came to pay their respect. They lowered the station flag and gave it to my dad. 

I know my dad is now leaving a job well done and I know that whatever he does next, he will approach the very same. 

 

I love you, Dad. Thank you for your service to this community and for dedicating most of your life to helping others. I am excited to see what is next for you in this thing called life. 

A Mountain to Climb & Conquer

I had trouble falling back asleep on Thursday night. I guess it technically would have been Friday morning due to a 4am feeding with our little gal. My mind just wouldn’t shut off the moment my head hit my wonderful pillow. Usually I have no problem drifting off into dream land again for a few hours before the next feeding, but that wasn’t the case this time around. 

I couldn’t shut it off. I wanted to. I fought it. I didn’t win. 

Monday will mark the day I kind of return to work. We set up my maternity leave so that during the last two weeks, I would go in for two days each week to kind of get my feet wet again and then after that, I would return like normal. I’ve been working from home for a good chunk of my leave and have tried to stay on top of everything that I could while being so far away from my place of employment all while caring for a fussy newborn. I have worn many, many, many hats in the last 12 weeks. I’ve learned each and everyday about being a mom, caring for another. I’ve taken online photography courses. I’ve written consistently on my blog and hope to continue to do so. I’ve started another side business with my mother which will be revealed at some point. I’ve embarked into the world of Doterra and have tried to learn as much as I can. 

I have been busy. I will only get busier. 

As I was thinking of all of these things, panic began to set in. On Monday, I will also not be doing my normal job but working at someone else’s desk as coverage. I’m fine with doing so, it’s good for me to do that every once in a while so I don’t get rusty and so I can support the wonderful team that I get to work with. But, then I started thinking about how I needed to pump. How many times I needed to pump. Whether or not I would be able to get away to pump. What if I didn’t pump enough? What if my milk dries up? And so the cycle begins. Over and over and over again. 

I know it will all work itself out and I know that legally my place of employment has to let me pump and provide for my baby. For some reason though, early in the morning, it seemed like the biggest mountain to climb, a hurdle that I couldn’t conquer. 

I need to refocus my mind set. I have a great job, especially one that has allowed me to spend so much time with our child. I can breastfeed. I know that some women don’t have that. I struggled in the beginning, it hasn’t been perfect, but I am so thankful that we have come so far in that area. My child is healthy and is growing every day. We have a roof over our heads. We have food on our table. I have been able to work on the creative areas of my life whether it be writing a blog or taking a photo. I have allowed my mind to breathe and grow in all things entrepreneurial, which is where I really love to be. 

We are embarking into a season of our lives that is like no other we have experienced. Having a kid really does change everything. Even though I feel like some of my dreams have currently been set aside (that’s a whole other blog post and music, I miss you dearly), we have gained so many other dreams as well. 

I just need to remind myself that it will all work out in the end and that no dream is too big.