32 Things Before 32

Every year for the past few years, I've written a list around my birthday. This list consists of many things that I want to accomplish in the new year in front of me. Last year, I didn't do very well on checking items off of my list. I found out I was pregnant in October and many items on the list ended up never being completed. I was a little preoccupied with growing a human. But, now I have begun my 32nd year, Sullivan was born in July and I have created a new, fresh list, just waiting to completed.

Here is my list from last year.....

1. Read 31 books. (I read 20)

2. Start blogging again.

3. Get pregnant with #2.

4. Paint the outside of our house.

5. Embrace a side hustle.

6. Play a show.

7. See the ocean.

8. Make a big purchase with cash.  (We roofed our house and paid cash for it!) 

9. Get another tattoo. (Can't get inked when you are pregnant) 

10. Get a facial.

11. Grow Hollen Photography.

12. Get a deep tissue massage.

13. Redo our basement: paint everything, new flooring, doors, etc. 

14. Finish a song. 

15. Go to a drive-in movie. 

16. Start writing a book. 

17. Thrift more. 

18. Increase our curb appeal.

19. Travel somewhere new. 

20. Build up an emergency fund. (About half way there...) 

21. Meal plan and decrease our grocery budget. 

22. Purge the entire house, every room!

23. Develop a product or new venture.  

24. Get family pictures taken. 

25. Complete another Jazzercise attendance challenge. 

26. Have a No-Spend Month. 

27. Read the Dark Tower Series, Harry Potter Series, and Anne of Green Gables Series. (I made it about half way through two of these series) 

28. Take a class. 

29. Seasonal Fun: pumpkin patch, picking strawberries, the zoo, parades, the fair, etc. 

30. See a show at Red Rocks. 

31. Splurge on the perfect pair of jeans. 

Here is my list for this new year....

1. Read 32 books. (I read 23 this year....) 

2. Learn how to use my pressure cooker & air fryer. 

3. Re-do our basement. 

4. Paint the outside of our home. 

5. Landscape our yard and rebuild back porch. 

6. Replace all interior doors. 

7. Create a plan to become debt free by 2020 (including student loans....) 

8. Rejoin Weight Watchers meetings (I go back and forth on this ALL OF THE TIME.)  

9. Get another tattoo

10. Get family photos taken & print some photo books. 

11. Finish writing a song. 

12. Go to the dentist and the doctor for exams. 

13. Get a massage. 

14. Family walks. 

15. Take a family vacation. 

16. Have time away with my hubby. 

17. Embrace a side hustle. 

18. Breastfeed Sullivan for one year. (He stopped at just shy of 11 months.) 

19. Reset up the practice space and actually play our music gear. 

20. Design a product. 

21. Go to the drive-in. 

22. Blog consistently and revamp blog layout. 

23. Finish reading the Bible In a Year. 

24. Go to a concert. 

25. 12 date nights. (Maybe we hit this?) 

26. Take a Barre Method Class

27. Finish the Dark Tower/Harry Potter Series. (I am at book #4 for HP...) 

28. Get a facial. 

29. Take one self-portrait a month. 

30. Grow something. 

31. Start a new family tradition. 

32. Start saving money for our 10 year anniversary trip. 

I am ready to dive head first into this new year. I feel like I'm just beginning the journey once more of re-learning how to be myself after having a baby. I'm excited for what this year holds. Hello thirty two. 

A REVISIT | 29 Things Before 29

I am a list maker. Every year I make another list of things I want to accomplish in my new 365 days. This was my list from my 29th year. I did fairly well at completing certain items and not well at completing others. This past year I really worked on feeling good in my own skin. I loved getting a library card and I totally nerd out about books now, especially books that I don't have to pay for. We did some traveling but I still didn't stay in a cabin. I didn't do well with anything involving family photographs and picture of Marin. 

I am working on my 30 Things Before 30 List as we speak. It's almost done. I am excited. 

Here is a revisit......

+ Make grilled pizza. 
+ Fit back into my old jeans and rock them.  
+ Go to the Drive-In
+ 3 Day Juice Cleanse.
+ Get out of debt. Forever! (Close, but not done.) 
+ Holy Yoga.
+ Grow out my hair.
+ Take a trip to Estes for the day.
+ Pay off my van.
+ Have a minimalist mentality.
+ Redesign my blog/Complete Blog Life. 
+ Buy a new house.
+ Have one date night a month. At least.
+ Get another tattoo/have a half sleeve designed. 
+ Write & Complete 3 new songs. 
+ See the ocean.
+ Play a show with my band or any band for that matter. As of August 9th, it has been ONE YEAR. 
+ Get back into writing Morning Pages. 
+ Go camping or stay in a cabin.  
+ Whole30 
+ Try and have a green thumb 
+ Create a coffee table book of 52 Weeks of Baby Marin Posts. 
+ Get family photos taken by an actual photographer. (not just us using a tripod.)
+ Try PiYo. 
+ Finish reading all of the books currently on my nightstand (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and participate in this online book club. 
+ Treat myself to a Bliss Package at She She.  I tried the Day Tripper Bliss Package. Heaven!
+ Watch 4 documentaries.  So far: #1, #2, #3. One documentary short. 
+ Buy a new Mac Book. It's time. 
+ Get a library card.

29 Things Before 29: A New List!

Every year I make a list of things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday. Here's to a new year and a new list. I approached this list a bit differently than last year. Last year I was pregnant and knew we would have a little one around for a bit of that year. This year, Marin is growing up like crazy and I am just learning how to keep a handle on so many things in our lives. This list helps me accomplish that. I don't want to lose sight of our dreams.  Check back every once in a while. If I mark something off, I will usually have a link with it. 

+ Make grilled pizza. 
+ Fit back into my old jeans and rock them.  
+ Go to the Drive-In
+ 3 Day Juice Cleanse.
+ Eat Paleo. 
+ Holy Yoga.
+ Grow out my hair.
+ Take a trip to Estes for the day.
+ Pay off my van.
+ Have a minimalist mentality.
+ Redesign my blog/Complete Blog Life. 
+ Buy a new house.
+ Have one date night a month. At least.
+ Get another tattoo/have a half sleeve designed. 
+ Write & Complete 3 new songs. 
+ See the ocean.
+ Play a show with my band. As of August 9th, it has been ONE YEAR. 
+ Get back into writing Morning Pages. 
+ Go camping or stay in a cabin.  
+ Launch and manage a baby apparel line. 
+ Portrait/Interview Series on the blog
+ Create a coffee table book of 52 Weeks of Baby Marin Posts. 
+ Get family photos taken by an actual photographer. (not just us using a tripod.)
+ Try PiYo. 
+ Finish reading all of the books currently on my nightstand (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and participate in this online book club. 
+ Treat myself to a Bliss Package at She She. 
+ Watch 4 documentaries.  
+ Buy a new Mac Book. It's time. 
+ Get a library card. 

28 Things Before 28: A Revisit

Every year I begin with a new list of things I want to accomplish for the next year. I am a list maker and love stuff like this. I pretty much eat it up. This year was no different. Granted, I didn't cross off as many as I would have hoped, but I knew that throwing in a pregnancy and a baby would probably make life interesting. Oh boy, it has been interesting! The highlighted points are what I didn't fully accomplish. I have been working on my new list and will be posting it tomorrow on my birthday. 28 was a good year. A lot of changes occurred when I was 28. I still can't believe how quickly I am making my way to 30. 

1. Buy more vinyl: #1   We bought one record. At least we bought one. 

2. Have a baby (Duh) 

3. Become reacquainted with my camera. 

4. Pay off all credit card debt (we are well on our way!) 3 down. 

5. Go to the Drive-In or to a movie all by myself 

6. Bake a pie

7. Have a garage sale  We bought a new AC unit for our window with our earnings. Hallelujah. 

8. Rejoin a gym/New workout regime 

9. Read the Dark Tower Series

10. Lose the baby weight...slowly getting there. 

11. Decorate the nursery 

12. Photo booth pics with my honey

13. Hang out with other moms  Not as much as I would like, but I haven't done really bad with this. 

14. Hire someone to clean my house for a change.  I did, for one glorious month and then realized we are way too poor. 

15. Have a weekend away. Ha ha ha ha. That's laughable. 

16. IKEA Trip

17. 3 Day Juice Cleanse

18. Splurge on a package of bliss appointment here. 

19. Make a bunch of frozen meals before baby's arrival

20. Cook a recipe from a new cookbook. 

21. Try taking a class and incorporating Doterra Oils into our life

22. Do the Whole 30

23. Sip and Paint  See the post HERE. 

24. Send out Christmas cards

25. Take an online course of some sort.   I took this one and am in the process of taking this one. So great. 

26. Make a photography website

27. Take better care of my skin- new routine  I've been using these products since I became prego. I just switched over to these in June....Doterra's Skin Line. I am in love. 

28.  See a concert. (not including any gig we are involved in.) 

Glorified Busyness: Who Are We Trying to Impress Again?

In this very moment, I feel the need to run away from everything or at least take a little break. From motherhood. From a job that is stressing me out so much lately and I feel so much change on the horizon. From the fussy child next to me that is probably teething and might be having a worse go at today than myself. From the bills that need to be paid for the stuff that we don’t really need. From the lack of time. From the lack of freedom. From the lack of passion and creativity. 

Let go my soul, and trust in Him. 

The waves and wind still know His name. 

That is the song currently playing in our little home office. Marin is looking at me as if to say, “Is everything alright, Mom? I’m growing today.” 

It is well. 

With my soul. 

Talk about a gut punch to the heart. A check. A balance. 

Jesus Calling stated this a few days ago: 

Come away with Me for awhile. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer they push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me.  

You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better; more meetings, more programs, more activity. 

I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority and deepest Joy. It is a pathway largely unappreciated and often despised. However, you have chosen the better thing, which will never be taken away from you. Moreover, as you walk close to Me, I can bless others through you. 

I live my life in my mind between a couple rules of thought, between a couple of ways that I feel my days should be lived out. The whys, hows, whats, and whens are usually around, just hanging out and wondering when I will give them the time of day. We are busy. Our lifestyles are busy. Add a baby into the mix and I can’t wait to finally put my head on my pillow at night, only to be woken up too early the next morning. Change this diaper, nurse the baby, fold the laundry, work on the work project, try and not eat the rest of the donuts in the pretty pink box on the counter, write this blog, make this blog look better, try and sit down to actually play an instrument and finish a song, try and better the world through essential oils, debate if I should be a seller or just use them for my family, realize that I need to share them, work on another side business, edit photos, shoot a wedding...and....and....and...and. That run on sentence only reveals to me the chaos that is our life.

I tend to glorify busyness. It has been a part of my DNA for so long but I want to call it out now. To be done with it. I always have my hands in a million things and I tell myself that it is within the chaos that I thrive. I think I’ve been telling myself that lie for a really long time. Over the last few days I have felt the insatiable need to simplify our lives, to some how go through every room in this house and get rid of all of the stuff that is in the way. I want to simplify our schedule. I constantly feel the need to be knee deep in many business ventures because we need the extra income. I want to dive into those ventures not due to a financial need but for a creative, “I’ll grow from this” need. I’m ready for the hospital bills from having a baby to be done and over with. I am ready to not stress about our finances or making sure the yard looks nice. 

Who are we trying to impress again? Oh, no one? That’s right. 

I want simplicity. I want time spent with Jesus in all of the chaos. 

I am a work in progress. 

Let go my soul, and trust in Him. 

The waves and wind still know His name. 

Enough is Enough

I feel the need today to start with a clean slate. It seems I have found myself in a bit of a funk and I don’t know how long I can handle living through it. Some things must change. They have to. I don’t really have a choice or I guess I shouldn’t really have a choice. Change is good. Change is needed and I’m finding myself feeling stale. Lost. Stuck. 

Since I became a mom, I feel like I don’t fully know who I am anymore. That rests upon the prerequisite though that I once did, I guess? I feel like my identity has been tossed up in the air and I am just now trying to pick up the pieces and put them back together again into some form of myself that makes sense. My former self is no more. My present self has no idea what is going on other than the fact that I am Marin’s mother and that needs to be enough. My future self is ignoring everything because of feeling so lost. 

I am the type of person that is constantly going, going, going. Doing, doing, doing. If my plate isn’t full, at times, I feel as if my worth isn’t enough. I know this is a total lie. I know that none of that is really true, but still, it gets the best of me and I sometimes have a hard time admitting that. I’m admitting that now. I’m not doing very well with handling all of this stuff. 

My house seems to get messier by the day. That closet really needs to be cleaned out before our garage sale next week. I can only hold so many essential oil classes every month and I struggle with whether or not that is enough. The bills need to be paid. I need to work. My camera collects dust far too often and that photography class still isn’t finished. I’m not posting enough blogs; too many of them are too personal. I need to lose more of the baby weight so I can feel like a real human again. I tend to eat crappier when I am overwhelmed, which doesn’t help anything. I don’t know what my hair is doing. I need to get up and do something athletic. I haven’t played a show with my band since August. I wonder if I even remember half of my songs. Marin needs my full attention, diapers need to be changed, feedings need to occur. 

My list could go on and on and on and on......But......

I am enough. 

(source)

Say it again. 

I am enough. 

I have to remember that it isn’t about what I do or what I create. It makes me go back to this quote....

There’s a lot on my mind today. I feel the need to really read this book. I want to go for a walk with my kid, to get out of the house and move my tired, lost muscles. I want to pick up my camera. I want to listen to music that moves me. I will still do a load of laundry today, but I won’t clean ALL of the house, maybe just a room or two. That is enough. That is enough for now. I will leave you with one last quote, from the book linked above.

“THERE WILL COME A DAY . . . There will come a day when she no longer wants to hold my hand. So I will hold it while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer tells me what’s on her mind. So I will listen while she still wants to talk to me. There will come a day when she no longer says, “Watch me, Mama!” So I will observe and encourage while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer invites me to eat school lunch with her. So I will join her while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer needs my help to bake cookies or hit the tennis ball in the sweet spot. So I will stand beside her gently guiding and instructing while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer wants my opinion about clothes, friendship, death, and heaven. So I will share my views while she still wants to hear them. There will come a day when she no longer allows me to hear her prayers and her dreams. So I will fold my hands and absorb every word while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer sleeps with her beloved stuffed animal. And that day may come sooner than I think. Because sometimes unexpected events happen, causing the days to rush by, the years to tumble ahead. Sometimes what I thought I would have time to do, like listen to her laugh, wipe her tears, breathe her scent, and hold her close, will no longer be available to me. What I thought I had all the time in the world to do, may no longer be an option. The little pink dog that my child must now learn to sleep without after eight precious years reminds me that tomorrow may not allow for all the things I planned to do. So instead of being too busy, too tired, or too distracted when she seeks my love and attention, I will be ready and waiting to make her a well-loved child while I still can.” 
― Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters!

Weekly Links: Currently Clicking #7

(Source) 

Here are all of the places I have been clicking around the internet this week.....

1. Another small home in a movement of tiny living. This would make a great little retreat. 
2. Some new blogs I've added to my reading list: one, two, three.
3. This 30 Day Cleanse is killer. I already ordered the e-book and can't wait to try it at some point. Eating whole food is where it's at. This isn't just a juice cleanse. 
4. I love this post: How To Have A Great Life Without Spending A Lot Of Money 
5. We are starting the process of potentially selling our home and buying another. Here is a list regarding home inspections, 10 Things to Do Before Selling a House,  a quick-clean checklist to use before showings. 

Weekly Links: Currently Clicking #5

Here are all of the places I have been clicking this week and what has caught my eye out in the great world that is the internet. 

(Source) 

1. Ideas for decorating with houseplants. I'm drawn to homes with a lot of plants. My house has no plants and a cat that would probably eat them, but I still love how they look. 
2. 37 days of 150 Calorie Snacks
3. I'm ready to dive in this book, this book, and this book. 
4. This kitchen redo.  I love the kitchen chairs. 
5. American Blogger Film. This is something I must see.  

Bullet Journaling: How I Organize My Chaos

I am currently on maternity leave. My life is chaotic now and will be even more so once I have to return back to work. (Notice how I said "have to?" I haven't quite come to terms yet with returning back to real life in a month of so....baby steps.)

I am an organizer by default and I have been writing in journals for as long as I can remember. There's a box out the garage now that is full of my scribbles all the way back to grade school. It's been a part of my life for a very long time. I like to document. I like to make lists. I like to check of the little boxes once a task is completely and move on to the next. I like to be able to look back and see what I've gone through and how I got on the other side of all of it. I like to see what has been accomplished and what still needs to be worked on. 

About a month ago, I stumbled across Bullet Journaling. I believe I first heard about it here or on this podcast. Probably both. I had to learn more. 

I've been using Moleskine notebooks for a few years now. These pens are also my jam. I have horrible (note: REALLY BAD) handwriting and these pens help a little. I'll take what I can get. I guess it works to my advantage sometimes. If I don't want people reading my notebooks, they can't even if they try because they can't read my scribbles. It's my secret skill: bad handwriting. 

I am slightly obsessed with this way of note taking and to-do list making. (That rhymed.) I have been making my lists daily this way for about a month now and plan to continue doing this for a long time. I usually begin my day by making a cup of coffee and some breakfast (after feeding the little one) and then sit down to make my list for the day. 

Learn all about Bullet Journaling here. You will learn about having an index, a monthly calendar, monthly tasks, and daily tasks. There are certain symbols for certain things. There are ways to make sure you don't lose any points in the process, even if you fail to accomplish that task on that given day. 

I love this stuff. I do. I'm slightly obsessed and I don't care who knows it! 

A Bucket List for Fall

As previously mentioned, fall is most definitely my favorite season every year. I love once everything begins to cool down a bit and I can dig out my boots and scarves. I love the changing that occurs within this season: the leaves, the holidays that are right around the corner. I love the prospect of a chai or latte early in the morning on my way to work, anything to keep me sane while working at a desk all day and longingly wishing I could be outside or anywhere else. 

I decided to create a bucket list of sorts. I'm a list girl. This is how I will always role and what better way than to dedicate this list to all things fall related. 

1. Buy pumpkins. (Already accomplished this on Sunday, but figured I place it on my list anyway.) 

2. Make this hot toddy. 

3. Take a drive through the mountains and take some photographs. 

4. Bake something fall-ish: pie, bread, scones, anything. 

5. Make s'mores and sit around our fire bowl out back, all bundled up and under the stars. 

6. Find a new scarf for the new season. And maybe some new boots. 

7. Make chili. Lots of chili. 

8. Make a fall sangria. 

9. Cook something involving butternut squash. Soup perhaps? 

Clearly, I will be cooking, baking, or drinking through must of this season. Can't complain really. 

Bring. It. On. 

Goals for June

We find ourselves in another new month already. Time goes much faster once you hit adulthood. Everyday, you're made to be an adult, pay your bills, wash your dishes, and bring home your paycheck. I find more and more everyday how important it is to just take some time and rest. To breathe. Truthfully, I'm absolutely horrible at that and hate feeling like I'm wasting time. But, as I get older, I find that taking those times to rest isn't in itself wasting time. Those sabbaths allow for more time in the grand scheme of things. When one is at the end of their rope and exhausted, nothing of worth can really get done. I must remember that. 

As I look back on May and the goals I presented, I am filled with satisfaction. It was a good month. I even survived my garage sale. Hallelujah. My goals were: 

Continue the Great Garage Sale preparation. I've only made a small dent in a big, stuff-we-don't-really-need-anymore world. 

A success. I even have any empty room to prove it. Blank walls envelope my house. Now I can make them new. 

Go to the Farmer's Market. 

See here. 

Schedule a massage. Even for next month. I need it. 

Scheduled for the end of June. Yes, please. 

Plan a getaway for our anniversary in June. 

The hotel is booked and it's only a little over a week away! 

Do an outfit post!! No more procrastination. 

See here. 

Now onto June......

Try Hot Yoga at the Gym

Bake something yummy: Maybe this? 

Drink tea once a day

Sit back and read a novel. (Maybe I can find one here.) 

Work on the front yard. Yard Crashers 2012 is coming.