An Update: No Spend July

This lovely little exercise of not spending any money, aside from necessities, has been eye opening for me. Probably the thing that has surprised me the most in all of this process is that I feel like we are poorer than ever. No money. Our bank account is constantly making me nervous and I am always waiting for payday.

How did that happen? I mean, what the heck? I haven't spent any money!

Granted, I haven't spent any money on credit cards either this month. That is where the real, true, heartbreaking realization lives: we tend to use our credit cards too often, too much, and for stuff we don't really need. Don't get me wrong, we manage our finances decently well. I was brought up that way. We even have paid off a TON of stuff this year which is super nice. We pay our bills on time. We pay more than the minimum amount due.

But, life happens. Amazon happens, which I know is not a legitimate excuse at all. I know. I know. I know!

In the past few months we have also added on some other expenses even though we have paid off some others. For example, I am going to be paying the hospital for the birth of my child for a while. It would have been nice to not be making the amount of money that we do and qualify for some aid in that area. That is a rant for a whole other day. I do believe the middle class though gets the short end of that stick. It's super unfair. We work hard, pay our bills, and want to have a family. Simple as that. End rant. For now.

We also have had someone come and clean our home and mow our lawn in the last two months or so. It was kind of an experiment for both of us because having a baby changes every single thing and since we both work and I have a billion side businesses going on, it was hard to keep up with stuff. I like cleaning my house. I still think I do it better than the people we have come clean. But, on a weekend, the last thing I am able to do with a crying baby in tow is scrub the crap out of the grout in my bathroom. It's a constant struggle. I don't know why I am trying to justify this but I feel like I need to. I am thinking of going to a once a month cleaning instead of bi-weekly and mowing will cease once we hit the fall. I am constantly hit by the fact that I want to spend time with my kid and not be remembered as the mom with the clean kitchen and the neglected child. No way.

I've managed to not go to Starbucks since June 10th. I am usually a regular at a few coffee houses and the baristas are all probably wondering if I'm dead or moved. The only few times I've had coffee is for work meetings and I don't have to pay for it. I don't think I've ever looked so forward to work meetings in my life. An iced caramel macchiato helps any crappy day get at least a little better. We had quite a few crappy work days lately too. I'll take what I can get.

 

I have received things from Amazon but they were diapers, wipes, diaper pail bags, and some keurig cups. We have those shipped to us monthly and I see those as necessities.

This has been a good experiment and I only have 6 more days to go. I need to get my eyebrows waxed. I would love a pedicure. I need a hair cut. Maybe I don't need any of these things, but I sure do want them. They help me feel human again.

I feel the need to still overhaul our budget and really hunker down for the next few months. I also feel the need to go through everything we own and just get rid of half of it. Too much stuff.

6 more days.

Highs and Lows

I was planning on posting a home design piece today, but something told me to just sit down and write instead. The few people that actually read this blog (thank you, by the way) usually end up reading my more intimate posts than the ones about my favorite cleaning product. So here you go. 

Yesterday was a bit of a challenge. It presented its highs and lows and I tried to take them on with ease and clarity. Motherhood really doesn't function that way, so I am learning, ever......so......slowly....... I caught myself yesterday trying to get through my to do list but then telling myself to sit down, chill out, and nurse your baby. Relish the moment. Be ALL there. Don't think about the laundry that needs to be folded or the fact that I've been trying to workout for the past week and have failed miserably. Don't think about the extra weight around my middle section or how I just don't feel too sexy at the moment. Don't think about the ice cream in the freezer that I don't need to be eating right now. Just don't think. Relish. Soak. 

Marin has been on a growth spurt, as mentioned in my previous post. She has been fussier than usual and seems to think I am ready and willing to nurse her every second of every day. I know this will pass at some point, but I feel fairly tied down at the moment. In these moments, I am forced to reevaluate my to do list and adjust accordingly. 

As far as the lows from yesterday go....

I had finally taken a shower, probably around 2pm. No shame. Once my hair was actually blow-dried and I had on something other than my pjs, I knew we needed to get out of the house, even for a little drive. The weather was INCREDIBLE. 70 degrees and lovely. I had one goal in my mind: an iced latte from the Starbucks drive thru. Driving always calms down baby and I didn't mind taking a little excursion. We went through the drive thru. I was stoked. The simple things are the things you have to reach out for every once in a while. My thing yesterday was an iced latte. 

We made it home, Marin sleeping peacefully in her carseat. I went to take a drink of my beverage and realized that they had given me a very wrong order. I ordered a iced, skinny, 1 pump hazelnut latte. So, in other words, I want a latte with a little, little, little bit of syrup. That's how I roll. Well, I went to take a sip and almost spit it out all over myself. I read the label and it stated that I had been given an iced, skinny, 13 pump hazelnut latte. First of all, who in their right mind orders 13 pumps of syrup (sorry if that's you, but ick)?!!? Major bummer. I can't believe I didn't notice it until then. So, after I managed to get myself and the baby out for a while, I came home with a completely undrinkable drink. I was so not winning. 

The rest of my afternoon was spent feeding my kid and cleaning my kitchen. Marin had calmed down quite a bit and was sleeping peacefully in her bouncer. I went to feed her again and unwrapped her from her swaddle. I was shocked to find the diaper blow out of the century. Instead of going up her backside, it had managed to travel all of the way up the front of her. She was unfazed. We hadn't had a good diaper in a while, if you know what I mean. She had clearly been saving it up for this blow out of epic proportions. I had to clean out her belly button. I bet that paints a nice picture. 

Overall, yesterday wasn't the best of days. It also wasn't the worst of days. So many things were challenging, but so many things were there to slowly continue to teach me about this thing called parenting. The one redeeming factor from yesterday was that Marin slept last night from around 10pm to almost 7am this morning. 7 am. 7 am!!!! I could hardly contain the excitement when I realized what time it was when I got up to feed her this morning. Praise the Lord! 

It's the little things. The baby that SLEEPS at night. The fact that my house is fairly clean. The weather outside has been great these past few days. The fact that I still am on maternity leave and get to spend this much time with our child. The fact that breastfeeding is still going very well. I count my blessings on that one. 

I just need to remember to soak in these moments. Soak.