Sullivan Turns One

It's been nearly a month since our little dude turned the big O-N-E. June and July have whizzed by so quickly that I feel like I've just been trying to catch my breath all summer. Lots of trips and changes have been occurring in our lives. I am thankful for all of it but phew...school will be starting before we know it. Marin will be going off to Pre-K at a different preschool. We will be working hard to get our house on the market in the spring. The holidays will be here before we know it. Good things. All good things. 

For Sullivan's birthday, we ended up postponing the party by one week because we all had been sick. I feel like we are all finally healthy. Somehow, Ryan didn't get hit with it and he's lucky. Usually we just keep passing around whatever sickness has made it into our home.

We gathered the family at the Hollen's home for our traditional Raising Cane's Chicken, baked beans, french fries, salad, fruit, and cake extravaganza. We usually do the same for Marin's birthday parties because it's affordable and delicious. I wanted to have everyone over to our house but our back porch is in need of some love and the Hollen's have a backyard oasis. 

The weather was perfect, nice and hot. Sullivan ate his chicken and french fries like a little champ, which is normal for him. After we all ate, we opened gifts for Sully and Grandpa-doo, who's birthday was on the 19th of July. Sullivan is now decked out in some cool new clothes and pjs. He also got a lot of rad toys, a puzzle, a little swimming pool, tons of books, a swing for our swing set out back, and a wagon with a canopy. I can't wait to get the pool out and use the wagon for a parade we are going to on Saturday. 

Having the birthday cake was probably his favorite part. He ended up eating it with a fork like a proper little man. He crashed into bed very quickly that night once the sugar rush ended. 

Thank you to everyone that came to celebrate Sullivan and his first year with us. We are so thankful for this little guy and I cannot imagine life without him. Happy Birthday, Sully! We love you! 

Marin Turns Three

On February 18th, our little gal turned three years old. I say this every single year, but somehow we were in the hospital one day, holding a little baby in our arms with no idea what we were doing and then we blink.....We have a 3 year old. 

Marin has blessed our lives in ways that I can't even begin to describe. Becoming parents has been one of the most rewarding and difficult things we have ever done. I have learned more from this little girl in the past few years than I have in my entire life. 

On Saturday, we invited our family over for a birthday celebration. In true Marin form, there was lots of pink packages and glitter tissue paper. She was given this adorable dress from a lady at church that her daughter wore 20-something years before. I think it's adorable. Marin's hair is also growing like crazy (finally) and she really needs a hair cut, but her dress is so cute. 

We brought in some chicken from Raising Canes and had other people bring sides of fries, beans fruit, pasta salad, cupcakes, etc. Raising Canes was the brilliant decision from my husband and I have been way too thankful to be eating chicken all week. It's so good. 

I barely got any photos taken because she moves quickly and so does our family. 

We don't have a baby girl any more. We have a little girl. Marin's vocabulary shocks me daily. She sleeps through the night. She drinks out of a big girl cup. Just this week, we dove once more into the land of potty training. It's finally clicking and I cannot believe it. She went poop in the potty last night and I've never been so thrilled about a bowel movement in my entire life. We haven't had a single accident and I'm so proud of this little peanut. 

I cannot wait to see what this new year brings for Marin. She will become a big sister to a new brother this summer. She will become a big girl and say good bye to diapers forever. This fall, we have enrolled her into 2 day a week preschool. I want to get her into dance class. 

We love you, Marin! Happy 3rd Birthday!! 

29

Today is my birthday. Today I turn 29 years old. The Facebook, "Happy Birthdays!" have already started to pour in and I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed early to write before my day officially begins and the rest of the house wakes up. I wanted to sit in my arm chair, with a coffee next to me and write without picking cheerios up off of the floor and dealing with spilled milk. 

29. 29. Twenty-nine. I feel like I was just twenty-one, playing a show in downtown Portland, in an unwise relationship with the wrong boy, and drinking my first Mickey's, surrounded by friends and pasta in an actual restaurant. That was shockingly 8 years ago. I don't even know me from back then anymore. 

Time has changed so swiftly in the last few years. So many things occurred even in the last year alone, from twenty-eight to twenty-nine. This time last year, we had a 6 month old baby girl and I was still slightly crazed from childbirth, still breastfeeding, still finding my footing in the brave new world of motherhood. I was trapped in an unknown body of left-over pregnancy weight and too many consumed donuts and Chinese takeout. 

My job changed in my 28th year as well and I was set free. Getting out of healthcare was the best decision I have ever made as far as my "career" goes. I don't even want to think about how life would be if I was still there, still stuck, still miserable. 

28 was the year that I played the least amount of music. That realization obviously saddens me greatly but I've come to terms with the dry season I find myself in. You have a child and suddenly this full on life-altering shift occurs and the things that I once obsessed and stressed over seem not nearly as important as they once were. Music is still in my bones. But, motherhood and raising a smart, creative, enduring child is my season. 

People are always asking me, "When are you going to book some shows? When are getting the band back together? Are you writing anything?" I am in a season where I am more thrilled by Marin learning a new word, even if that word is just "boobies." I am on a journey of discovery through the eyes of our child and in this season, that is still enough. It has to be. It must be. 

So, hello 29. I have no idea of what experiences and lessons you will hold for me in this new year of living but if it's anything like the years of my past, I look forward to the next 365 days of life, lessons, and new seasons. 

Baby Marin | Week Thirty Seven

Marin generally does well in a lot of different situations and is pretty chill when around a lot of people. I will forever be thankful for that. She is usually great in restaurants, at church, family gatherings. That is awesome. 

On Thursday, we celebrated my brother-in-law's birthday at the bowling alley. We had a blast and Marin was great the entire evening. When one of us was up to bowl, Marin would be handed to the next family member and hang out. Kind of a musical chairs situation and she loved it. She was up way past her bedtime but loved the commotion of the bowling alley. That is really awesome. 

Marin is currently napping away upstairs and I can't help but think how lucky we are to have been blessed with such a great baby. Seriously. We have our moments and melt downs but overall I couldn't ask for a more awesome child. This week, she has started to wave at everyone and everything. She is just starting to eat finger foods. We still have no teeth but she is still all smiles. 

Baby Marin. Week Thirty Seven.

Happy Mother's Day

Drawn by: Ryan Hollen (my awesome husband) 

Last year around this time, I somehow knew that I would celebrating the last Mother’s Day of my life not being a mother. Around this time last year, I became pregnant, but didn’t know that amazing news until June 7th on the fateful day I took three pregnancies tests early in the morning, freaked out, and went to tell my still asleep, groggy husband that we were going to have a baby! So much has changed in a year. 

I think many women go through their pregnancies, trimester by trimester, rubbing their tummies and dreaming of what motherhood will be like. I want the “Gilmore Girls,” mother-daughter relationship. I want to share dialogue with her that goes a mile a minute and eat in diners and drink too much coffee and...my list could go on and on, as unrealistic as that hope may be. I want my little girl to grow up strong and independent. I want my little girl to follow her dreams and to love Jesus with all her heart. All good things. 

No one truly prepares you for the day you become a parent, the day you become a mother. Those months when Marin was kept safe in my ever growing frame, I dreamt of how all of this would look. I planned. I prepared, like I always do. Motherhood is the most rewarding, challenging, life-giving thing I have ever done. I have been stretched to my absolute limits and found that I can keep moving forward. I have felt my heart swell for a tiny human that I’ve only known for a little under 3 months. I have found that I need to step back and soak in this time that I have with her because I know that I will blink and she will be driving, dating boys, and Ryan will be sitting on the porch every evening,  waiting with a list of all of the reasons as to why a certain gentleman cannot date his daughter. I look forward to those times, but that’s not where we are now and I feel the need to slow all of it down. 

So, to all of you mothers out there, thank you and keep going. It does take a village to raise a child and we are all part of that village. Embrace the bed head on the mornings when you haven’t been able to shower and it’s nearing 12pm; when you haven’t been able to get a single bite to eat for yourself all morning. Embrace dirty diapers, the first time they roll over, when they begin to crawl, and their first steps. Embrace the battle scars upon your body that show the long journey it took for you to hold your baby in your arms. Embrace the quite moments in the morning when you rock you baby in your arms and feed them before the sun even comes up and the world goes about its business. Embrace the days when you have to go to work and then think about your child constantly, through every project and meeting of the day. 

You are a mom and that is an amazing thing. 

Happy Mother’s Day. 

Birthday BBQ 2013

We have quite a few August birthdays in our family. Mine is August 3rd. My man's is August 30th. My dad's is August 16th. So, this year, we planned a BBQ at our house for all three of us. It was a nice, chill time of hanging out with family, eating too much good food, and celebrating all three of us. 

My prego splurge for the day. I love coke in a bottle. 

Ryan grilling.

Family 

Get in my belly. 

Get in my belly, part 2. 

All of the men in the family. 

Earlier that day, we were also went in for our first ultra-sound. I feel like I'm just too huge already and wanted to make sure everything was looking good. We still don't know if it's a boy or girl, but I am measuring right along schedule and everything looks great. It was pretty crazy to see that little life on the screen, bouncing around like crazy. Definitely one of the coolest experiences for us as a couple.

Baby Hollen

I'm big. 

This year for was for birthday shoes. 

Time with family is good. Always good. I am fully ready to ring in being 27. If you haven't already, check out my new 28 Things Before 28 List. You can also find the link button on the side of this blog. 

Christmas 2012

I have been silent for over a month. December was busy. My grandfather was in and out of the hospital for weeks. Life got away from all of us. But, in the end, we got to spend it all together as a family and for that I am so thankful. 

Christmas Eve was spent at Ryan's parents house. We began our evening doing music for our church service at Timberline Old Town. Once all of our equipment was packed up, we headed to his parent's house for chili and cinnamon rolls from Silver Grill. Holy cow. Those things were as big as my face and I'm not complaining one bit about that. 

On Christmas Day, we awoke to more snow on the ground. It began snowing the night before. It was definitely a White Christmas this year. 

 Our next stop was the hospital to visit my grandfather. He has been in and out of the hospital for a while now and wasn't able to spend Christmas at home. So, we went to him. Ryan even played a song he wrote for Christmas in the hospital for my grandfather. 

Next stop...my parent's house. We ate snacks and opened gifts. It was very relaxing and wonderful. 

I'm quite obsessed with my new boots. 

 Then we were off to my Aunt and Uncles house for some of the best prime rib ever. I ate way too much this past month. 

A few days later, we went to my Grandparent's home to spend Christmas with them. My grandpa is finally home. It was so good to spend that time together with them and my family. 

I can't believe I type this as the end of 2012 is only a few hours away. This year has been a whirlwind of events and I am very thankful for all of it.