Maternity Leave Goals

I am a creator of lists. I thrive off of them and love being able to feel accomplished. I need this intensely in my life right now. Maternity leave has challenged me already and we are only a few weeks in. I don't do well with not doing much. I like to do things, to accomplish things, to meet my goals head on. I don't like not being able to drive, or really clean, or lift my toddler. Thanks, C-Section. It's been swell so far. But, we are getting there. 

Ryan heads back to work tomorrow and I'm trying to not psych myself out too much. We will get into a routine. We will see the other side of this transition. I will be able to shower someday without a baby bouncer in the bathroom and a toddler out in the hallway with her books. I need to give it time. 

One thing I am sure of though is that I want to soak in this time that I do have. I will probably never have this opportunity again. No work for many weeks and time available to spend with my family. These are priceless times. They will be gone before I know it. SOAK IT ALL IN. 

I want to set a few goals for my leave though. I read somewhere that it's wise to make small goals with low expectations during a season like this. Things will not get accomplished. Sometimes just hanging out with my kids will be more than enough. They need to be fed. They need naps. They need adventures. 

Here are a few things that I have been thinking about lately...

• Revamp our budget. 
• Organize our closets. We need to get rid of a lot of clothes that we no longer wear and I would like to not see my maternity pants any longer. 
• Work on creating a good newborn/preschooler schedule. 
• Start a workout program, slowly...and follow through. (Once I have been given the ok from my doc.) 
• Rejoin Weight Watchers and find a meeting that works with our schedule and two children. 
• Treat yo self (Any Parks & Rec fans out there?) Get my hair done, get a pedicure. 
• Have a few playdates/coffee dates with other moms and families. Get out of the house!
• Make date night a priority. 
• Redesign this blog. It's time for a fresh, new look. 
• Work on a few, very simple house projects. 

I know some people out there will think that I'm crazy, but this is how I roll. I do love a good list. 

Small goals, low expectations. 

30 Things Before 30

Every year, I make a list of things that I want to accomplish by my next birthday. Here's to a new year and a new list. Some of these are big and seem lofty, some are fairly easy to accomplish. Check back every once in a while. I will have a tab at the top of this blog. If I mark something off, I usually will have a link with it. This year, I had too many things on my list which usually doesn't happen. I guess I'm ready to ring in 30 next summer with a bang. Let's do this. 

1. Read 30 books. With my love for the library now, this should be easy. 
2. 30 Recipes, meal plan for dinner. 
3. Try Blue Apron or something like it. 
4. Go on a family vacation. 
5. Work on getting through Baby Step #2 (Dave Ramsey.) 
6. Paint living room and hallways. Repaint kitchen cabinets. Paint trim and doors white. Lots of painting. Pretty much paint the entire inside of our house. 
7. Try Cize. 
8. Do another Whole 30. 
9. Get prego, round 2. 
10. Yoga Headstand
11. Work through this book. 
12. Reach my goal weight and keep moving (30 minutes, 10,000 steps, or C25k per day)
13. Have a meal at The Kitchen. 
14. Get a facial at She She.
15. Take family photos
16. Create some physical photo albums, not digital. 
17. Be able to park the Dodge Journey in the garage. i.e....Clean it out! Dump trip. 
18. Increase our income. Make it happen. 
19. Potty Train Marin.
20. Spend a lot more time outside. 
21. Write some songs. 
22. Breakup with online shopping and go thrifting more often. 
23. Join a CSA or Bountiful Baskets. Buy veggies/fruits from a roadside stand. 
24. Drink more wine.
25. Get a blowout at a salon. 
26. Help Marin not be such a picky eater. Expand her palate.  
27. Capsule Wardrobe or Project 333
28. Go to a concert at Red Rocks. 
29. Eat like a French Woman.  
30. Paint the outside of our house. 

A REVISIT | 29 Things Before 29

I am a list maker. Every year I make another list of things I want to accomplish in my new 365 days. This was my list from my 29th year. I did fairly well at completing certain items and not well at completing others. This past year I really worked on feeling good in my own skin. I loved getting a library card and I totally nerd out about books now, especially books that I don't have to pay for. We did some traveling but I still didn't stay in a cabin. I didn't do well with anything involving family photographs and picture of Marin. 

I am working on my 30 Things Before 30 List as we speak. It's almost done. I am excited. 

Here is a revisit......

+ Make grilled pizza. 
+ Fit back into my old jeans and rock them.  
+ Go to the Drive-In
+ 3 Day Juice Cleanse.
+ Get out of debt. Forever! (Close, but not done.) 
+ Holy Yoga.
+ Grow out my hair.
+ Take a trip to Estes for the day.
+ Pay off my van.
+ Have a minimalist mentality.
+ Redesign my blog/Complete Blog Life. 
+ Buy a new house.
+ Have one date night a month. At least.
+ Get another tattoo/have a half sleeve designed. 
+ Write & Complete 3 new songs. 
+ See the ocean.
+ Play a show with my band or any band for that matter. As of August 9th, it has been ONE YEAR. 
+ Get back into writing Morning Pages. 
+ Go camping or stay in a cabin.  
+ Whole30 
+ Try and have a green thumb 
+ Create a coffee table book of 52 Weeks of Baby Marin Posts. 
+ Get family photos taken by an actual photographer. (not just us using a tripod.)
+ Try PiYo. 
+ Finish reading all of the books currently on my nightstand (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and participate in this online book club. 
+ Treat myself to a Bliss Package at She She.  I tried the Day Tripper Bliss Package. Heaven!
+ Watch 4 documentaries.  So far: #1, #2, #3. One documentary short. 
+ Buy a new Mac Book. It's time. 
+ Get a library card.

29

Today is my birthday. Today I turn 29 years old. The Facebook, "Happy Birthdays!" have already started to pour in and I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed early to write before my day officially begins and the rest of the house wakes up. I wanted to sit in my arm chair, with a coffee next to me and write without picking cheerios up off of the floor and dealing with spilled milk. 

29. 29. Twenty-nine. I feel like I was just twenty-one, playing a show in downtown Portland, in an unwise relationship with the wrong boy, and drinking my first Mickey's, surrounded by friends and pasta in an actual restaurant. That was shockingly 8 years ago. I don't even know me from back then anymore. 

Time has changed so swiftly in the last few years. So many things occurred even in the last year alone, from twenty-eight to twenty-nine. This time last year, we had a 6 month old baby girl and I was still slightly crazed from childbirth, still breastfeeding, still finding my footing in the brave new world of motherhood. I was trapped in an unknown body of left-over pregnancy weight and too many consumed donuts and Chinese takeout. 

My job changed in my 28th year as well and I was set free. Getting out of healthcare was the best decision I have ever made as far as my "career" goes. I don't even want to think about how life would be if I was still there, still stuck, still miserable. 

28 was the year that I played the least amount of music. That realization obviously saddens me greatly but I've come to terms with the dry season I find myself in. You have a child and suddenly this full on life-altering shift occurs and the things that I once obsessed and stressed over seem not nearly as important as they once were. Music is still in my bones. But, motherhood and raising a smart, creative, enduring child is my season. 

People are always asking me, "When are you going to book some shows? When are getting the band back together? Are you writing anything?" I am in a season where I am more thrilled by Marin learning a new word, even if that word is just "boobies." I am on a journey of discovery through the eyes of our child and in this season, that is still enough. It has to be. It must be. 

So, hello 29. I have no idea of what experiences and lessons you will hold for me in this new year of living but if it's anything like the years of my past, I look forward to the next 365 days of life, lessons, and new seasons. 

WHOLE ME | Whole 30 Week 2

Tomorrow morning marks half way through the Whole 30. Half way. Half way! I can hardly believe it myself but I have also resorted to dreaming about sneaking donuts and totally cheating on my diet. I wake up realizing that it was only a dream and then laugh at myself because I felt guilty upon waking that I totally walked into a grocery store, filled my cart with things that aren't diet compliant, and then went to town and consumed everything that I could. 

Sure, I've had cravings. Sure, I would like to have had popcorn at the movie theatre when we went on a date. Sure, I would like to not have to cook ALL OF THE TIME and wash dishes ALL OF THE TIME. But, in all reality, the past 2 weeks haven't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I have had only one day where I had a raging headache. I've landed into a pretty decent groove and routine of what I eat when. Going out to eat doesn't really happen unless it's Chipotle, which is awesome, or some breakfast joint where I can stay decently well behaved. I have felt pretty tired some days but then I sleep well and dream like crazy. 

I'm already contemplating what I will be allowing back into my diet after all of this done. I still have goals to meet. This picture has been my phone screen since I started the Whole 30. I believe this was back in 2006, so nearly 10 years ago, which is crazy to think about. I was home from college for Christmas and I was pretty darn skinny. I believe I had gone through a breakup, moved to campus, and didn't take that great of care of myself, but needless to say, this is possible. Now, after a kid and nearly ten more years since that time, I realize that my body has gone through some pretty epic changes. For example, growing a baby and then delivering the baby changed just about everything about my body chemistry. But, I am a very visual person, and having a goal in mind, is a good thing. It just shows me that I can be that weight. It is possible. I know the goal weight I am working towards and I don't want to stop until I meet it. 

So, I have 2 more weeks. I can totally do this. I need to try a few more new recipes in my rotation so I don't get tired of the eating the same things all of the time. Miraculously, I haven't tired of eggs. I LOVE eggs, which is a good thing. Here's what I ate last week. Again, if you don't want to see food photos, don't. 

B: We went out to eat. I ended up getting a Denver Skillet without the cheese and a coffee. It was so so good. 

L: Shredded Chicken, Guac, Salsa. HB Eggs. Ice Tea. 

S: Grapes and Turkey

D: Prosciutto wrapped chicken, greens beans & mushrooms cooked in Ghee. Pineapple.  

B: Bacon & Eggs. Coffee. 

L: Sweet Potatoes, Shredded Chicken, Guac, Salsa. Minus the plantains. I just forgot to take a picture. 

D: HB Eggs, Turkey, Grapes, Guac

B: HB Eggs, Banana, Blueberries, Almond Butter, Coffee

L: Chicken Sausage, Green Beans & Mushrooms, Spicy Mustard

D: Shrimp Stir Fry w/ Coconut Aminos. 

B: Cashew Cookie Lara Bar, HB Eggs, Banana, Coffee

L: Shrimp Stir Fry w/ Coconut Aminos

S: Strawberries

D: Grapes, Plantains (I know, I know), Guac

B: HB Eggs, Bacon, Coffee

L: Chicken Sausage, Green Beans & Mushrooms, Spicy Mustard, La Croix

D: Fridge Dump....Sweet Potatoes, Shredded Chicken, Green Beans, Mushrooms, Hot Sauce

B: HB Eggs, Turkey, Peach, Coffee

L: Proscuitto Wrapped Chicken, Steamed Veggies, Grapes, 

D: Strawberries, Plantains, Guac

B: HB Eggs, Turkey, Banana, Coffee

L: Chipotle from Work!

S: Mango, Mixed Berries, Banana, Almond Milk Smoothie

D: Chicken Sausage, Veggies, Spicy Mustard, Grapes, La Croix

What I Am Learning: 

1. I still really want to weigh myself. I'm noticing a change and I am super curious to see what the scale says. 

2. I have to make time to workout. The past two days I haven't done the best at that but I'm sitting in my workout clothes as I type this. Once the kid goes down for a nap, I'm working out. 

3. La Croix is the best drink ever. 

4. I miss Ezekiel Bread in the morning with an over easy egg. 

5. Meal prep is super important. 

There you have it. Another week is done. I got this. 

The Numbers Are In: No Spend July

The numbers are in and No Spend July came to an end a few days ago. What I have seemed to discover in the midst of this experiment is that....wait for it.....

WE HAVE NO MONEY.

Even in the midst of behaving myself and not spending money on Amazon, going out to eat at work, or further encouraging my latte habit, I still feel like we have been taking one step forward and eight steps back financially.

Hospital bills are killing us.

In the month of July we also both had to pay for our car plates & registration. I renewed my license.

I had people clean my house for one glorious month. That has now come to an end because we just can't afford it. I'm back to scrubbing my toilets like a normal person once more. It was nice while it lasted. I will look back and remember it fondly.

To be honest, I caved a few times. I'm just going to put that out there.

One day, I bought a chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-a. I was heading home to edit a real estate photo shoot and wanted nothing more than that sandwich. And waffle fries.

On the very last day of the challenge, we went through the Starbucks drive-thru.

I also ordered two things from Amazon but will argue that they were necessary. We ordered these for the crib because of my child's gymnastic and aerobatic abilities. We also ordered this teether because times are getting rough around here. Drooly & tough.

What are we going to do moving forward?

I probably need to start couponing again or use something like this.

Still no more Amazon. JUST SAY NO.

We are going to try and start paying our mortgage bi-weekly instead of once a month. We aren't hit so hard at the beginning of the month with a mortgage payment that pretty much empties out our bank account and we freak out until Ryan gets paid on Wednesdays. It also will help us pay off our mortgage faster in the long run.

Baby steps. Maybe I should do a no spend year? 

What are some of your financial habits? 

I would love to know. 

28 Things Before 28

One week and one day ago, I turned 27 years old. I'm now closer to thirty than I am to twenty five. I feel like my years as a teenager are very far away now. My immaturities from that time in my life are only a small flicker in my life now. My past is my past. I don't think I've ever looked so forward to the future like I am now. Being pregnant puts everything into perspective and I'm scared to death about becoming a parent. This will happen while I am 27. 

Last year's list looks a tad sad. A lot of the things on here involved me doing things not pregnant. Oh well. I also didn't blog for a good chunk of last year and I had forgotten many things on the list. 

This was last year.....

1. Finish writing 5 songs. That’s a big deal. ( I finished four whole songs. I'm crossing this off.) 

2. Rock a two piece swimming suit with confidence.

3. Treat myself to a massage

4. Camp in a tent

5. Get another tattoo

6. Learn to knit (I will put this on my lists until I do it!)

7. Record another music project

8. Work through a few e-courses that have piled up.

9. Gain financial peace. Get out of debt once and for all.

10. Get pregnant.

11. Paint some walls

12. Not kill my garden (Big negative. I got pregnant and created a pile of weeds.) 

13. Have a picnic

14. Sew something. Anything.

15. Fly in a plane

16. Repurpose a piece of furniture

17. See a concert at Red Rocks

18. Go on a wine or beer tasting tour (Prego, no go.) 

19. Eat at 5 places we have never tried before.

20. Bake often. 

21. Have a girls night

22. Make breakfast for dinner

23. Finish reading the Dark Tower Series by Stephen King (This was my man’s idea)

24. Have a dinner party

25. Read 12 novels (I probably made it about half way on this one.) 

26. Re-grow out my hair (Definite no. I really chopped all of my hair off in April.) 

27. Take a road trip

Here's to a new year and a new list. It doesn't feel quite as ambitious, but I'm sure with a little one around, this will be more than enough. 

1. Buy more vinyl

2. Have a baby (Duh) 

3. Continue the great yard makeover on our pathetic lawn

4. Pay off all credit card debt (we are well on our way!) 

5. Go to the Drive-In or to a movie all by myself 

6. Bake a pie

7. Have a garage sale

8.  Rejoin a gym/New workout regime 

9. Read the Dark Tower Series

10. Lose the baby weight

11. Decorate the nursery 

12. Photo booth pics with my honey

13. Hang out with other moms

14. Go to the Roller Derby

15. Have a weekend away

16. IKEA Trip

17. 3 Day Juice Cleanse

18. Have breakfast at midnight

19. Make a bunch of frozen meals before baby's arrival

20. Try 12 new recipes

21. Project Life 

22. Do the Whole 30

23. Sip and Paint

24. Send out Christmas cards

25. Write a letter to an old friend

26. Make a photography website

27. Take better care of my skin- new routine 

28.  See a concert. (not including any gig we are involved in.) 

I am excited for this year and all that it brings. 

I Want to Be a Loser

I know what you're thinking: What an emo title. What a great read for my Tuesday morning. Stay with me, I promise I will make some sort of sense. 

If any of you know me or have read my blog for any given amount of time, you probably know that I'm always on some sort of diet. I'm always scoping out the next meal plan or fitness routine. It is a struggle. My weight has been a constant force the past few years, a force to be reckoned with. A force that I cannot allow to sway my days any longer. 

I've been on a new plan and going to the gym very consistently as of late and I feel awesome. I feel awesome until the fateful time I step on the scale every week, only to be hit with the same darn number. My muscle mass is going up, my fat mass is going down, but still no budge. Not even a smidgen. It stares back at me like something that has been etched long ago into cement, never to change or morph. 

I'm sick of staring at that scale. I don't want to any more. I want to wake up every morning knowing that I'm feeding my body extremely well, taking care of it, lifting my weights, and sweating my butt off. That's all I need. That's really all I want. 

I still want to be a loser though. A loser of pounds. A gainer of muscle, confidence, and strength. My jeans are buttoning easier than they used to and I've had to wear a belt with my favorite blue jeans. I am not only a number. I am a strong women that is taking this one step at a time. 

As I was cooking my meals for the week last night, it really hit me. No more scale. No more measuring. No more stressing out and feeling miserable. Just living and breathing, sweating and enduring. That's it. Healthy meals, healthy habits, kick butt workouts. 

Simply put this morning: I want to be a loser. But, the scale and I are going to break up for a while. 

And I feel totally alright with that. 

My Vegan Journey: January Update

I have a love hate relationship with food in most circumstances. I love a good cheese, some french bread, and wine just like the next person, but my hips and tummy probably would disagree most times. I want to get through my day knowing that I ate the best that I could, nourished my body with the fuel that it needs (which probably shouldn't include drinking quite as much coffee. Maybe green tea!), and being nice to my self and the misconceptions I may have about my body and health. 

It's a constant journey. I cannot eat like an angel for a few days and then completely sabotage myself on the weekend just because I kept it up for a few days. I think I make it far more difficult than it needs to be at times. 

January was a good month. I ate mostly vegan. I would be lying to you if I said I didn't allow myself a cheat day every once in a while, but I can say that I only consumed meat maybe 3 or so times. That in itself is a triumph. Whenever I could eat vegan I would. When we would go out or I wanted to have a nice date with my man, sometimes that's harder to do. Those times would be when I would eat vegetarian at least. 

Don't get me wrong, eating vegan is wonderful. I feel better. My stomach loves me so much more. I enjoy planning meals and actually cooking something. But, a girl has to have some cheese every once in a while. Let's not get all crazy. 

My journey for February......

I plan on still eating as close to vegan as possible but I will allow some dairy every once in a while. I miss my greek yogurt and the occasional veggie pizza. But, meat? I don't really desire it as much as I used to. I'm alright with that. 

I like the challenge. It's good for me to plan my meals out before hand. I enjoy cooking and baking with a vegan bent in mind. I plan on continuing on this journey for the months to come. One thing I would like to add to this journey is more exercise. Sitting at a desk all day isn't helping anyone. I also would like to embrace using my juicer more often. 

Hello, February. 

February Goals

Holy cow. How are we to February already? 2012 is moving far too swiftly. Must slow down. 

Have a romantic date with my man for Valentine's Day. 

Finish one DIY project. I have too many ideas floating around.  

Begin working through this book. 

Clean the garage out. Yuck. 

Make a trip to IKEA! (Hopefully!) 

Goals for December

December is flying already and I feel the need to get my goals for the month on paper. To commit. To actually do something. First off, a quick review of November. 

Bake this bread recipe. 

Done and done. I'd like to try it again though because my oven is a pain to bake in. 

Finish one sewing project. 

Not done. No time. Sad. 

Deep clean my house. 

I'm crossing this one off....I'm very close. I just need to organize the kitchen. 

Go thrifting. 

I did and didn't buy anything. Crazy. 

Go for more walks. 

Finish reading through this and this.

Let's keep this simple. 

Watch this movie all the way through in one sitting. 

Organize the kitchen. 

Do yoga twice a week. 

Have a chili night at our house. 

Find one holiday recipe, make it. 

Those seem attainable. 

Happy December 6th, already!