ONE LITTLE WORD 2016 | RESTORE

I woke up this morning and felt a bit more determined than the day before. A new light, a more articulated reason for striving and thriving. The end of one year and the beginning of another always causes me to reflect and seek out new, fresh determination. I realize it’s just a moment in time, influenced by the world making new resolutions and diving head first into a new calendar year. I love this time though just the same. A clean slate is what I live for..unknown and fresh like a newly fallen snow that hasn’t been touched yet and walked through. 

I am the kind of person that secretly longs for change and hopes for life that isn't just a mundane cycle of adulthood but something extraordinary. Full of hope, destiny, and a thirst for the things and journeys in our lives that we have yet to experience. For some reason, 2016 feels like it will be a year of great change, determination, and of renewal in my life and in the lives of those around me. I feel the low rumble right now, the build up, the grand entrance of things I cannot quite see. 

2014 was the year I became a mom and everything shifted. I spent most of that year trying to keep my head above water and make sure our daughter was growing and thriving. 2015 was really the year of me diving head first into a new job (at the end of 2014) and finding my footing again. Getting out of healthcare was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. 2015 was also the year though that I let so many of the creative pieces of my very existence start to fall away. One by one, minute by minute. Aside from church, I haven’t played any music. Long gone are the days of playing shows at dive bars at 12am. I haven't really allowed myself to sit down and write. I always knew the day would come when we started a family and life would shift in many ways but I feel like I haven’t even properly morned my creative loss. 

2016 is new. 2016 is fresh and open and unknown. I have never been more ready to dive in. The past few years I have decided on One Little Word for the year. Last year my word was LESS. That couldn’t have been more true. 

My word came to me this year a few weeks before the end of 2015. It has been resonating and soaking for a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited to embrace it. 

My little word for 2016 is RESTORE. 

re·store

rəˈstôr/

verb

verb: restore; 3rd person present: restores; past tense: restored; past participle: restored; gerund or present participle: restoring

• bring back (a previous right, practice, custom, or situation)
•  reinstate. reinstate, bring back, reinstitute, reimpose, reinstall, reestablish "the aim to restore democracy"

▪ return (someone or something) to a former condition, place, or position.

▪ repair or renovate (a building, work of art, vehicle, etc.) so as to return it to its original condition.

▪ repair, fix, mend, refurbish, recondition, rehabilitate, rebuild, reconstruct, remodel, overhaul, redevelop, renovate; More

I have a lot of things I wish to restore in my life this year. I feel like I have lost so many pieces of myself over the last few years. 

I want to restore my confidence and self-worth. I’ve set some pretty intense goals to meet before my 30th birthday this August. I want to take care of myself again and restore that which I feel like I have lost as the pounds have been packed on over the last few years. I will feel good in my own skin. 

I just started a new lifestyle, not diet plan. It feels good. It feels like home. I also just joined Jazzercise (I know how that sounds) but it is amazing and I can’t wait to go back! I will make time for my health. 

I want to restore my creative endeavors. I don’t need to play a show every weekend anymore. Those days are gone for now. I want to just get new strings and pick up my guitar again. I want to make time to write music for no one other than myself. Maybe I will book a show or two, probably without a band, but that’s a start for now and that must be enough. 

I want to restore quiet mornings and focus on getting up early enough to read the Word, journal my thoughts, and just breathe for a moment in the morning. 

I want to restore our financial freedom and have plans to destroy our debt and gain financial peace. Things will be tight. We will have to go without some things we desire, but it will be worth it. 

I want to restore or repair our home to make it the best that it can be. I truly believe that we aren’t supposed to sell our home until we are out of debt. I want to make the most out of the home we have and embrace it all. I want to get rid of so many things that we don't need. 

This has been a long winded post but I am so excited to see what this year brings. 

Start over with me, and create a new, clean heart within me. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.  May there never be even a shadow of darkness between us! May you never deprive me of your Sacred Spirit! Let my passion for life be RESTORED tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me.  Give me more of your Holy Spirit-Wind so that I may stand strong and true to you! 

Psalm 51:10-12 Passion Translation

Christmas Eve & Christmas 2015

I can't quite believe that Christmas has already come and gone again. I look so forward to it all year and then I blink. Gone. This year was a good one, one for the books. Having a child around at Christmas time makes it even better. This time last year, Marin wasn't walking yet and wasn't totally aware of Christmas and presents. This year, she was all in. That kid made out like a bandit. We won't need to buy her another toy for a long time. 

Christmas Eve started at the Hollen's for brunch and presents. 

Since I work for a church, my afternoon and evening was spent working on Christmas Eve. We held a service at our building. There were a million cookies, hot cocoa, and glow sticks to end the night as we sang "Silent Night." It was a wonderful evening but I was very glad to go home and put my feet up. Ryan and I opened a few gifts from each other before bedtime. 

Marin has been taking Thomas everywhere. 

We woke up fairly early the next day to finish opening our gifts and for Marin to open up her gifts from us and of course, Santa Claus. I was so excited to give her the toy kitchen and all of the fun food stuff that comes with it. Ryan also killed it with my gifts. We haven't been able to afford gifts for each other the past few years so it was really fun being able to buy for each other this year. He is a great gift giver. 

We headed down to my parent's new home to open up presents with my side of the family. It was really fun being in their new home. Marin is in toy heaven. Christmas evening was spent at my Uncle's and Aunt's home eating amazing food and having a White Elephant gift exchange to end the day. 

Christmas of 2015 was a good one. I love that almost all of our families are close and that we can celebrate with everyone. Christmas time though the eyes of a child is like nothing else I've known. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. 

Thanksgiving | 2015

I went far more off the grid this year for Thanksgiving than I have in years past. I purposely didn't lug my big DSLR over to the Hollen's house. I tried to keep my phone in my bag during the meal. The photo above is the only one I took all morning while we were at home, looking at the snow and getting ready to eat donuts. I wanted to soak it all in without the distraction of getting the shot of the table settings, even though it was beautiful as always, and the smorgasbord of delicious food covering all open counter space in the kitchen. 

I wanted to rest, to recharge. To soak it all in. 

We made cranberry brie bites. I made homemade cranberry sauce from our Bountiful Baskets haul. (Which, sidetone, I love BB and I am pretty obsessed with them.) We made the cliche but always needed green bean casserole. We consumed turkey, veggies, corn casserole, potatoes, carrots, rolls, lefse, the list goes on and on. 

Marin didn't nap all day. We tried in the morning before we headed over for festivities: nothing. We tried after the meal...nothing. Needless to say, our tired little girl was zonked out in bed by 6:30pm Thanksgiving night. 

We ate too much. The turkey coma commenced. It snowed all day. 

I couldn't help but be thankful for everything in our lives. We are healthy. We have a warm home that is filled with things, some of which we probably don't need. Our fridge and cupboards have food to nourish our bodies. Our bank account isn't in the red. We are able to pay are bills on time. We get to spend every day raising up an amazing little girl that surprises us all of the time with the knowledge that she already has. We have good jobs. I can actually say that I love my job. I am thankful for good coffee and quiet mornings. We have an awesome church community that has been hit hard in the past week due to the death of a young boy. I am thankful for people that are willing and able to band together to live through the tough times, the hard times, the devastating times. 

I am thankful that we were able to slow down, even for a day. May I be ever aware of the pace of our lives. 

One Little Word | 2015

I've been trying to write this post for about two weeks now. It just hasn't seemed to grow into something of worth and I have just journaled about it just about every morning. The words I've scribbled on the pages in those early morning hours just haven't clicked until this morning. 

Many people I know pick one little word for their new year. This one little word becomes their mantra for the year. Sometimes the word finds them, sometimes they seek out the words. I had a word last year but didn't blog about it. My word for 2014 was BRAVE. This was fitting because within the course of 2014, we became parents. Childbirth was a daunting task. I knew I needed to be BRAVE. I knew there was no looking back once we reached that point. Being BRAVE as a parent is at the forefront of everything I have experienced in the past year. I also needed to be BRAVE when it came to quitting my job, the job I had for almost 6 years, and jump blindly into something new. BRAVE was a fitting word. I needed it. 

As I mentioned earlier, my word for 2015 just wasn't coming to me even though I was seeking it out. I wanted something positive but not cheesy. I wanted something that could be used in all areas of my life. I wanted something new. 

My word for 2015 might not seem like a very positive word when you look at the definition of it, but I think it carries a lot of power for this new year. 

My word for 2015 is.........

Less. 

LESS STUFF |  I want to go through everything we own and get rid of a lot of it. I'm sick of feeling like we are growing out of a house that should be just fine for now. 

LESS NEED |  I don't really need a new car, even if I want one. I don't really need 3 pairs of boots that are almost exactly the same. 

LESS WEIGHT |  I want to feel confident in my skin once more after having a baby. It will be a journey, of that I am sure. 

LESS MONEY |  We are moving into a season where I am not making the amount of money I once did. Frugality will need to be common place in our little home. 

LESS STRESS |  I want to wake up every morning and keep journaling. I want to know what is to not say "yes" to everything. I want more time spent with my kid and less time worrying about stupid things. 

LESS OF ME, MORE OF HIM | 

"He must become great and greater, and I must become less and less." John 3:30

LESS WASTING TIME | I want to make every moment count, especially when it comes to my family.  

Are you interested in finding your one little word? Check out this podcast and this blog.