Baby Sullivan | Week Thirty Seven

This week has felt long and tiring but we made it to Saturday and for that I am thankful. The days are so full lately with my job switch. I feel like I'm juggling a million things at once in an effort to leave well. I don't know who is taking my job over so the added unknowns of that have been weighing on me. I would love to be able to train whoever this person is so I can sleep soundly at night and not fret about whether or not teams have been scheduled and confirmed. I know, I know. I am the one that decided to move to a different job. I am the one that wanted to make this big switch. I am thankful for all of the change lately but will be very excited to be on the other side of it and working at the new job. I'm ready to dive in. 

With the craziness of this week, Sully and I have been a little under the weather. I've been fighting a sore throat all week and it's now moved into my sinuses. Hopefully today is the last day of it because I am leading worship tomorrow at church and I need to be able to sing without sounding like my head is full of snot, which is currently is. So lovely. 

Sully has been teething like crazy. His top two teeth are finally breaking through the gums. Teething plus a stuffy nose for him has made a few of our nights and early mornings pretty crappy. He wakes up wanting to nurse but then doesn't want to nurse because I think laying down on his side like that makes his sinuses and mouth hurt. Poor little dude. At least the teeth are breaking through. It looks like all of his top teeth are just right below the surface of his gums, just waiting to burst forth. Teething is so rough at times but I know it's something that we just have to get through. 

Marin had her 4 year well check on Monday and is doing well. She weighs just shy of 32 lbs and is 3 feet 3.5 inches tall. She is in the petite category and percentile, which doesn't surprise me. She did so well at her appointment. The vision test went well, the hearing test went well. We did get a few shots before she starts kindergarten, which is never fun. Luckily, she won't need any more until she's in middle school. But, she was such a trooper. She has a skin condition as well that we've been monitoring and putting steroid cream on. Luckily, we can now quit using the cream unless it flairs up again. I fully believe that Jesus will heal her of it though. The doctors stated that she could have it for the rest of her life, but Jesus heals, of that I am certain. We stopped and got hot chocolate and sour gummy worms at Daddy's grocery store where he works afterwards. I'm glad that appointment is over. Now she will just have a dentist appointment in April but it will be where I will be working so hopefully that will go better than it has in the past. 

Sullivan's 9 month appointment will be in a few weeks and I'm curious to see how he is growing. He's not even 9 months yet but wears mostly 18 month clothing. He is a tank and we love him for that. We are still hauling him around in his infant car seat. I'm trying to make it last as long as possible but soon, very soon, we will have to switch to a different car seat. 

I'm ready to dive into this next week, finish my time at the church, and embark on something new. I'm ready to have everyone in our home healthy and happy. I just keep realizing the importance of taking care of myself so that I can care well for my family. One day at a time. 

Here's Marin at Week Thirty Seven. 

Christmas Eve & Christmas 2015

I can't quite believe that Christmas has already come and gone again. I look so forward to it all year and then I blink. Gone. This year was a good one, one for the books. Having a child around at Christmas time makes it even better. This time last year, Marin wasn't walking yet and wasn't totally aware of Christmas and presents. This year, she was all in. That kid made out like a bandit. We won't need to buy her another toy for a long time. 

Christmas Eve started at the Hollen's for brunch and presents. 

Since I work for a church, my afternoon and evening was spent working on Christmas Eve. We held a service at our building. There were a million cookies, hot cocoa, and glow sticks to end the night as we sang "Silent Night." It was a wonderful evening but I was very glad to go home and put my feet up. Ryan and I opened a few gifts from each other before bedtime. 

Marin has been taking Thomas everywhere. 

We woke up fairly early the next day to finish opening our gifts and for Marin to open up her gifts from us and of course, Santa Claus. I was so excited to give her the toy kitchen and all of the fun food stuff that comes with it. Ryan also killed it with my gifts. We haven't been able to afford gifts for each other the past few years so it was really fun being able to buy for each other this year. He is a great gift giver. 

We headed down to my parent's new home to open up presents with my side of the family. It was really fun being in their new home. Marin is in toy heaven. Christmas evening was spent at my Uncle's and Aunt's home eating amazing food and having a White Elephant gift exchange to end the day. 

Christmas of 2015 was a good one. I love that almost all of our families are close and that we can celebrate with everyone. Christmas time though the eyes of a child is like nothing else I've known. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. 

Our Well Is Full | Our Roots Are Deep

We dedicated Marin last night, surrounded by many people, family and friends. The evening began with chili and soup, the breaking of bread and cornbread muffins, wine and beer. The sound of little children and adults filled the home and the chaos seemed fitting. We talked about what Marin's name means, "Little Queen of the Sea." Words were spoken over her life of "strength" and "authority." We ate good food, drank good wine, and managed to have Marin asleep in bed only a hour and half later than usual. 

Sometimes it hits me that our little baby will be an adult someday with her own hopes and dreams. She will fall in love. She may get her heartbroken once or twice. She will figure out her path one trial and triumph at a time. I already see so much of myself in her, which is thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. The words spoken over her last night are very similar to the ones that have been spoken over me, time and time again. As long as she grows up knowing and loving Jesus and the church, her strength and spunk will be directed in the right places. 

I made some poor decisions in my college days and I know many people tend to rebel at some point in their life. I just want to protect and guide her forever but also allow her to make her own decisions and learn through the seasons of life. I guess that's what parenting is supposed to look like in some ways, right?

It's so weird to think of her out in the world. Driving a car, heading off to college, dating boys, and working at a job. It seems so far off but I know it's really not. By that point, I will be around 46 years old. That's a strange thing to think about. What will be we be doing with our lives? Where will we be living? How many kids will we have? What dreams will have died and which will have survived all of those years of living? 

Such a strange thing to wrap my mind around. You only get just one life. It seems so small and fast in the grand scheme of things. The insatiable need to make it worthwhile and full of life is needed. I want to live a full, full life. I don't want to look back and see that I worked too much, lived too little, and didn't help my kids discover who they are and what they are meant for. 

Even as I journey through this year of "LESS," I still want to make sure that my well is full and my roots are deep. I only get to live this year once. I better make it worthwhile. I don't want to miss a single thing. 

The End of an Era & the Beginning of Another

I think part of me never truly believed I would be writing these words. Part of me was so caught up in all the things that working in healthcare presents and supporting my family was found at the top of my list.

 

No more. There is a great deal of freedom now in my life. Last Wednesday, I walked through the hallways of a dental clinic as an employee for the last time. I turned in my keys, my sweaters, and my laptop. I said my goodbyes and gave my hugs. It felt strange, almost like a twilight version of my job, as if it wasn't really happening.

I worked at a dental office for nearly 6 years. That's a lot of years. That's a lot of time. That's a lot of paychecks, meetings, and to do lists. I learned so many things about the business world and working with people and I am so glad that I went in for that job interview all those years ago.

Had someone sat me down ten years ago and told me that I would be working in human resources at a pediatric dental clinic, I probably would have laughed at them and walked away. Ten years ago, I figured I would be playing a ton of music, traveling, taking a lot of photos, and living out a creative life as much as I possibly could. But then, life happened. Life happens. Good life happens. Becoming an adult had to happen and bills needed to be paid.

 

If I have worked with you over the last few years, thank you. You have taught me so many things about myself and my capacity in the business world. You have been a home away from home in many ways. You have helped me strive and helped me live. You have challenged me. I would be lying if I said it was always good. There were times that were tough, times when I wanted to walk away and be done with all of it, but I endured. Transitions come and go and so do people and now I'm on the the other side of it.

 

Just, thank you. You all are wonderful.

This past season has been one of lots of waiting and of wondering where it would all end up. I knew my time was coming to an end but I didn't know the hows or whys. This past season has not necessarily been easy but I believe that our little family have never been in such a good place like we are now. I am embarking upon a new job as the Events Coordinator at Vintage City Church. I am able to use my college degree yet again and use all of the things that I learned at the dental office. I am able to spend more time with my family and make my own schedule for the most part. I couldn't ask for a better opportunity. I was made for a job like this.

So, Toothzone, I bid you farewell. I will surely not forget that last 6 years of my life but I am very excited for the next years of our lives.

Farewell.

If You Are The Prayin' Kind

Yesterday was very hard. Very hard. I am still trying to grasp a lot of what we were told. The news wasn’t good, the news wasn’t ideal. But there is one thing I know for certain, one thing I will hold on to with every ounce of my being: 

My God is bigger. My God is stronger. If His will is to bring this little girl into this world, it will happen. No matter what. 

Those could be the only words I write today and that would be enough. 

My faith doesn’t rest in my medical doctor, my faith rests in God alone. 

We were told yesterday, after being sent to a different specialist for an ultrasound, that Marin is measuring smaller than they would like. 

They also told us that I don’t have enough amniotic fluid to help guarantee the life and growth our little girl. 

Our God is bigger. 

Our God is stronger. 

The hard part with this situation is that there isn’t anything I could have done differently and there isn’t much I can do moving forward. We have another appointment set for the first of October with the specialist. For now, the only thing I can do is guzzle water like it’s going out of style. 

Prayer can change things. God can cause our little girl to grow big and strong. God can cause my amniotic fluid to increase to a point where it is safe and healthy. 

If you are of the praying kind, please pray with us. 

I want nothing more than to meet our little, healthy girl in February.