Our Well Is Full | Our Roots Are Deep

We dedicated Marin last night, surrounded by many people, family and friends. The evening began with chili and soup, the breaking of bread and cornbread muffins, wine and beer. The sound of little children and adults filled the home and the chaos seemed fitting. We talked about what Marin's name means, "Little Queen of the Sea." Words were spoken over her life of "strength" and "authority." We ate good food, drank good wine, and managed to have Marin asleep in bed only a hour and half later than usual. 

Sometimes it hits me that our little baby will be an adult someday with her own hopes and dreams. She will fall in love. She may get her heartbroken once or twice. She will figure out her path one trial and triumph at a time. I already see so much of myself in her, which is thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. The words spoken over her last night are very similar to the ones that have been spoken over me, time and time again. As long as she grows up knowing and loving Jesus and the church, her strength and spunk will be directed in the right places. 

I made some poor decisions in my college days and I know many people tend to rebel at some point in their life. I just want to protect and guide her forever but also allow her to make her own decisions and learn through the seasons of life. I guess that's what parenting is supposed to look like in some ways, right?

It's so weird to think of her out in the world. Driving a car, heading off to college, dating boys, and working at a job. It seems so far off but I know it's really not. By that point, I will be around 46 years old. That's a strange thing to think about. What will be we be doing with our lives? Where will we be living? How many kids will we have? What dreams will have died and which will have survived all of those years of living? 

Such a strange thing to wrap my mind around. You only get just one life. It seems so small and fast in the grand scheme of things. The insatiable need to make it worthwhile and full of life is needed. I want to live a full, full life. I don't want to look back and see that I worked too much, lived too little, and didn't help my kids discover who they are and what they are meant for. 

Even as I journey through this year of "LESS," I still want to make sure that my well is full and my roots are deep. I only get to live this year once. I better make it worthwhile. I don't want to miss a single thing. 

Glorified Busyness: Who Are We Trying to Impress Again?

In this very moment, I feel the need to run away from everything or at least take a little break. From motherhood. From a job that is stressing me out so much lately and I feel so much change on the horizon. From the fussy child next to me that is probably teething and might be having a worse go at today than myself. From the bills that need to be paid for the stuff that we don’t really need. From the lack of time. From the lack of freedom. From the lack of passion and creativity. 

Let go my soul, and trust in Him. 

The waves and wind still know His name. 

That is the song currently playing in our little home office. Marin is looking at me as if to say, “Is everything alright, Mom? I’m growing today.” 

It is well. 

With my soul. 

Talk about a gut punch to the heart. A check. A balance. 

Jesus Calling stated this a few days ago: 

Come away with Me for awhile. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer they push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me.  

You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better; more meetings, more programs, more activity. 

I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority and deepest Joy. It is a pathway largely unappreciated and often despised. However, you have chosen the better thing, which will never be taken away from you. Moreover, as you walk close to Me, I can bless others through you. 

I live my life in my mind between a couple rules of thought, between a couple of ways that I feel my days should be lived out. The whys, hows, whats, and whens are usually around, just hanging out and wondering when I will give them the time of day. We are busy. Our lifestyles are busy. Add a baby into the mix and I can’t wait to finally put my head on my pillow at night, only to be woken up too early the next morning. Change this diaper, nurse the baby, fold the laundry, work on the work project, try and not eat the rest of the donuts in the pretty pink box on the counter, write this blog, make this blog look better, try and sit down to actually play an instrument and finish a song, try and better the world through essential oils, debate if I should be a seller or just use them for my family, realize that I need to share them, work on another side business, edit photos, shoot a wedding...and....and....and...and. That run on sentence only reveals to me the chaos that is our life.

I tend to glorify busyness. It has been a part of my DNA for so long but I want to call it out now. To be done with it. I always have my hands in a million things and I tell myself that it is within the chaos that I thrive. I think I’ve been telling myself that lie for a really long time. Over the last few days I have felt the insatiable need to simplify our lives, to some how go through every room in this house and get rid of all of the stuff that is in the way. I want to simplify our schedule. I constantly feel the need to be knee deep in many business ventures because we need the extra income. I want to dive into those ventures not due to a financial need but for a creative, “I’ll grow from this” need. I’m ready for the hospital bills from having a baby to be done and over with. I am ready to not stress about our finances or making sure the yard looks nice. 

Who are we trying to impress again? Oh, no one? That’s right. 

I want simplicity. I want time spent with Jesus in all of the chaos. 

I am a work in progress. 

Let go my soul, and trust in Him. 

The waves and wind still know His name. 

Easter 2014

My husband and I are very lucky. Both of our families like to hang out with each other. This makes holidays a lot easier. Everybody wins. This Easter we spent the afternoon at my parent's home with my sister, my grandparents, my parents, my aunt and uncle, his parents, and our brother and sister-in-law. Too much food was consumed and Marin was so exhausted by the end of the day because she was passed around into a different set of arms every so often. I love my family. I am very thankful for them and I am very thankful for Easter, for what Christ did for us. I know our lives would not be the same without that amazing, undeserved sacrifice. It is good to get together and live in remembrance, to look forward into what God is doing in each one of our lives, and to sit there and soak in the fact that this big, crazy, growing group of people are family.