Baby Marin | Week Fifty Two

This is it. We made it to one year. I am a few days late in posting this but I wanted to make sure we celebrated our little one's birthday, surrounded by family. I realize that she probably won't remember much of this party, but mid-party, Saturday evening, I took a step back and realized how greatly loved our little girl is. There was a pretty intense snowstorm going on outside and family still braved the drive to our home. 

Marin thoroughly enjoyed opening up her presents and playing with her new toys. Her attention span was shockingly long when it came to opening up her presents. She understands the concept pretty well, I believe. Marin received a lot of new clothes, which she needed. She also received some awesome toys, including a drum set, a circus tent to play in, and a little car to ride around on. She was given puzzles and books, bath toys and even the beginning of a college fund that family can place money in throughout the rest of her life. 

She is well loved. 

She also loved the cupcake, once she figured out what to do with it. She was a lot cleaner about that whole process than I expected. Granted, I still had to clean a lot of cupcake off of the floor, but we didn't have to give her a bath afterwards. 

She slept like a rock that evening and didn't wake up until almost 8 am. Marin has started her first year with a bang. 

Baby Marin. Week Fifty Two. 

Happy Birthday, Little One

At this time last year, we were all hunkered down in our living room. I was trying to keep down scrambled eggs and we watched episode after episode of Dirty Jobs. My water had broken, conveniently when I went to the bathroom and not in our bedsheets around three in the morning. We had anticipated this day for nearly 10 months. I was overdue by 10 days. I knew that if I didn't go into labor today, then the doctors would intervene, against our wishes. I knew that our baby would come into this world in due time but it was almost as if she camping out until the very last second, just a little longer, just one more day. I probably gained another ten pounds just in the ten days we waited past our due date for her to arrive.

I knew going into labor that we wanted to take the natural approach if at all possible. We had an amazing doula by our side. You can read more about our birth story HERE. For as long as I shall live I will never forget the pain and exertion it took to bring Marin into this world. It was so real, so intense, yet almost an out of body experience. I will never forget the waves of contractions and pushing for what felt like an eternity. I will never forget hearing that Marin was turned differently than they had hoped and that was why I had been pushing for so long without really getting anywhere. There was talk of a C-Section.  Luckily, the support I had around me didn't let us get to that point and we were able to deliver Marin into this world still as naturally as possible.

She arrived into this world in a flash of pain and was rushed away from me. I remember hearing her cry. I remember thinking that it wasn't all real, that we were still laboring and in the process. They brought her next to my chest for only a brief second and then she was rushed away to NICU. Our little baby girl. The day our lives changed completely. The day everything was turned completely upside down and sideways. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Today Marin turns one. I can hardly believe that I am writing those words. I feel like I blinked and here we are. It's as if all of those sleepless nights and early mornings are so far away now. She now sleeps through the night. She now eats solid food, all the while throwing at least half of the contents from her plate onto to the floor around her. She is close to walking but seems to want to hold onto crawling just a little bit longer.

OUR LITTLE GIRL IS ONE TODAY. 

I am very far from the person I was one year ago. I have battle scars upon my body from the months of her stretching and growing. The weight is still coming off ever so slowly and I have to fight for that so much harder than before. Sleep is a luxury that I don't really miss that much. Nap times are when I am most productive and conquer the world. I have learned how to fearlessly and utterly be attached to another human that isn't my husband. I look into the mirror and the person staring back at me is no longer just a musician or an artist. I am a mother.

I AM A MOTHER.

In all of my years, I never thought that realization would be solidified within me. Now I don't desire to know a life without that piece of me. I am more complete now than I have ever been.

Happy Birthday, Little One. I am forever thankful that you turned out lives upside down.