Portrait One

(One of the things on my 32 Things Before 32 list is to take a self-portrait once per month. Here's August.) 

I see a lot of things when I look at this photograph. I hate to admit how many pictures I took before I landed on one that was decent, at least in my mind.  I'm usually the girl behind the camera not the one in front of the camera. I feel a lot of things looking at this photograph. I had a baby a mere seven weeks ago and I can see the extra weight on my frame and in my face. My pants are a few sizes larger than I would like them to be. I wear a lot of tunics right now. In the past, I have always shied away from being in photographs when I don't feel the best in my own skin. I don't feel the best in my own skin lately. Postpartum skin is always an adventure and a process.  Healing from a c-section has been something I would like to not have to experience ever again. I'm ravenously hungry pretty much all of the time when I am breastfeeding and never feel fully satisfied. 

Sure, I have some weight to lose. Sure, my eyes look tired because I have a seven week old and a toddler to care for. Sure, there are some things I would change. 

But, you know what else I see? I see a woman that carried two children for 9 months each in this body. I have fed and nurtured two children with this body. I see a woman that is trying her best to parent two children well and to give them the very best life that we can in our home. I see a woman that is strong and capable. I see of woman that has dreams and aspirations, goals and hopes. I see a woman that is in a season that has never before been experienced. A new challenge, a new hope. 

"From the very beginning, we grow and mature because problems propel us towards solutions. Hunger drives us to attain what we do not have; discomforts push us through frustrations. So our babies grow strong, creative, and smart-- because they persevere. In the same way, our adult minds and bodies do not thrive through comfort, but challenge. Life throws a million curveballs demanding brave responses. By walking though the darkness, taking every despairing step until we reach the land of dawn-- this is how we learn to love goodness, to sacrifice for beauty, and to cultivate enough hope for the next time. Even if next time the valley is darker and longer than before."  

Catherine McNiel   Long Days of Small Things

32 Things Before 32

Every year for the past few years, I've written a list around my birthday. This list consists of many things that I want to accomplish in the new year in front of me. Last year, I didn't do very well on checking items off of my list. I found out I was pregnant in October and many items on the list ended up never being completed. I was a little preoccupied with growing a human. But, now I have begun my 32nd year, Sullivan was born in July and I have created a new, fresh list, just waiting to completed.

Here is my list from last year.....

1. Read 31 books. (I read 20)

2. Start blogging again.

3. Get pregnant with #2.

4. Paint the outside of our house.

5. Embrace a side hustle.

6. Play a show.

7. See the ocean.

8. Make a big purchase with cash.  (We roofed our house and paid cash for it!) 

9. Get another tattoo. (Can't get inked when you are pregnant) 

10. Get a facial.

11. Grow Hollen Photography.

12. Get a deep tissue massage.

13. Redo our basement: paint everything, new flooring, doors, etc. 

14. Finish a song. 

15. Go to a drive-in movie. 

16. Start writing a book. 

17. Thrift more. 

18. Increase our curb appeal.

19. Travel somewhere new. 

20. Build up an emergency fund. (About half way there...) 

21. Meal plan and decrease our grocery budget. 

22. Purge the entire house, every room!

23. Develop a product or new venture.  

24. Get family pictures taken. 

25. Complete another Jazzercise attendance challenge. 

26. Have a No-Spend Month. 

27. Read the Dark Tower Series, Harry Potter Series, and Anne of Green Gables Series. (I made it about half way through two of these series) 

28. Take a class. 

29. Seasonal Fun: pumpkin patch, picking strawberries, the zoo, parades, the fair, etc. 

30. See a show at Red Rocks. 

31. Splurge on the perfect pair of jeans. 

Here is my list for this new year....

1. Read 32 books. (I read 23 this year....) 

2. Learn how to use my pressure cooker & air fryer. 

3. Re-do our basement. 

4. Paint the outside of our home. 

5. Landscape our yard and rebuild back porch. 

6. Replace all interior doors. 

7. Create a plan to become debt free by 2020 (including student loans....) 

8. Rejoin Weight Watchers meetings (I go back and forth on this ALL OF THE TIME.)  

9. Get another tattoo

10. Get family photos taken & print some photo books. 

11. Finish writing a song. 

12. Go to the dentist and the doctor for exams. 

13. Get a massage. 

14. Family walks. 

15. Take a family vacation. 

16. Have time away with my hubby. 

17. Embrace a side hustle. 

18. Breastfeed Sullivan for one year. (He stopped at just shy of 11 months.) 

19. Reset up the practice space and actually play our music gear. 

20. Design a product. 

21. Go to the drive-in. 

22. Blog consistently and revamp blog layout. 

23. Finish reading the Bible In a Year. 

24. Go to a concert. 

25. 12 date nights. (Maybe we hit this?) 

26. Take a Barre Method Class

27. Finish the Dark Tower/Harry Potter Series. (I am at book #4 for HP...) 

28. Get a facial. 

29. Take one self-portrait a month. 

30. Grow something. 

31. Start a new family tradition. 

32. Start saving money for our 10 year anniversary trip. 

I am ready to dive head first into this new year. I feel like I'm just beginning the journey once more of re-learning how to be myself after having a baby. I'm excited for what this year holds. Hello thirty two. 

Life Lately | An Update

Life has been such a whirlwind as of late. So many things seem to be occurring and coming into fruition. We seem to be in a good groove and I am alright with that. I haven't done  post like this in a long time, but as a bit of an update and some link love thrown into it....

 I am almost half way through my Whole 30, look for a post on that tomorrow.....I haven't felt this good and confident about myself in a very long time. People are starting to notice and comment and I'm only half way. I feel that is a good sign. Read my first post on my first week, if you haven't already. 

Work is in full swing as always and I'm just trying to live out a good "hustle." I've been editing photos like a crazy from a wedding the we photographed at the end of June. Any spare moment I have, during nap time, late at night: I edit. 

I've been loving the library as of late. A library card is literally one of the best things to happen to me. I can't even begin to tell you how much money I was spending on books that I would only read one time and then would fall back in place on a shelf, left untouched. The library is awesome. Currently on my nightstand, I am reading: this, this, this, and this.  I also am really into audio books and nerd up every time I am driving in my car. My current listen is this.  I read the book years ago but it's wonderful because it's read by the author and I like her vibe. How can one not love the library? My book list of things I have on hold is ever growing. I wish I had more hours in the day where I could get lost in a good book. Sometimes nap times allow me to do so but most of the time it's before I go to sleep at night. I read with the roar of the A/C in our room and the baby monitor humming next to me. 

Yesterday, we did something that we have been talking about for a long while but I never thought would actually happen. WE BOUGHT A NEW CAR!!!!! I no longer have to drive the mom mobile. The minivan was great for the years that we had it. We played a lot of shows with that car and crammed it full of music gear. I've driven Marin all over the place. I've fretted about how the van is running and whether or not it will make it to the next season. I have never in my life had a new car. My own NEW car. Dodge had some amazing deals out there and we spent the day at the car dealership. Overall, it was a great experience. I am not a big fan of dealerships but we had a great experience, albeit a long one. We drove home a new Dodge Journey, which is literally the bigger brother to my husband's car. I love it. I can't wait to go drive it today. 

That being said, I've also been researching ways to live more frugally in our lives. With a brand new car, comes a brand new car payment. We managed to get our payment in a decent range, but I need to tighten things up around here a bit. I won't be frequenting Starbucks per usual, that is for sure. Here's what I've been reading lately..... 

Keeping Our Household Budget Under $300 Monthly 

Tips on Living on Next to Nothing

Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps

Pinterest is full of ideas... 

And on a kind of related note...I found this article interesting: Take the 1000 Day Challenge!

The Everyday: Week Two

Our lives were filled with the welcoming of new life this week. We consumed cupcakes with mustaches on them. 

I was awake far too early, way too many times this week. Coffee is my companion. 

I've never felt the need to work on "Plan B" so much in my entire life. How's that for vague? 

(Stewie. Soon to be a big brother.) 

(Don't mess with my kid. She's tough) 

(Celebrating new life. A baby shower for my sister.) 

(Slowly but surely, I am working through this.) 

(Sometimes you just have to have toast with almond butter and apricot jam.) 

(Early Morning Fuel)