But We Are Still Young......

I’m moving slowly today. My only desire is to go back and crawl under my covers and neglect the piles of dishes in the sink and the pile of laundry in the basement.

I find contentment in the mug of french press sitting next me and the warm weather sits upon my skin like a blanket. I need to do something today. To be productive. My infamous to do list is staring me down as I type this and each box is left unchecked and unnoticed. Those boxes taunt me with the knowledge of the satisfaction I find as I mark each one off. I find it is easier to get things done when I find even the slightest satisfaction in marking off a box, even if it only for finishing a load of laundry or clearing off the countertops in my kitchen.

I need a vacation. We need to get way. I want to feel the air upon my face as the mile markers pass us by. To not know fully of our destination but live in the journey of the unknown. I long for the disgusting road stops along the way, the feeling of the salty ocean mist upon my eye lashes, the last sip of the espresso from the city in which I came from, the place in which my soul died away for that period of time.

Routine is the word that sits sickly upon my tongue and heart this morning. My list is filled with all of the grown up things that grown ups do. So many times I feel as if I’m not getting anywhere, just simple passing through one day onto the next. Our weeks fly by us quicker than we are able to take our next breath.

The house behind us is full of children whining and screaming this morning. Their cries at each other make me thankful that we haven’t started that process yet, the process of beginning a family. At times I feel like I’m ready. The maternal bug rears its life changing head as I am dreaming of touring and getting away. Once children come, those dreams will fall away, maybe never to be seen again. I fear that those last statements drip of selfishness, but still we are young.

But we are still young.

Within that statement I will find hope today. Within a month or so, we will be on the road, even if it is for a week. I pray that I can make it til then, before the get up, grab some coffee, go to work, come home from work, have band practice, pick up the house, read a book, go to sleep routine overtakes all of us.

I’m longing for a good adventure. It couldn’t come soon enough.

No comments