This is 32 | A New List

My final portrait from my series, taken on the eve of my 32nd birthday.

11, 699 days in so far in this thing called life, as of today that is. I had every intention of actually getting these words out into the open over a week ago when I rang in a new year of life but...life happened per usual. Work happened, raising kids happened, trying to catch up on sleep kind of happened but who are we kidding, really? 

I have a feeling that year thirty two is going to be a good one for me, one like I've never quite experienced before. Why? I'm not sure how to put my finger on it but this past season has been one of swift and immense change in just about every area of my life. I feel like this new year is going to be much the same and I'm kind of just along for the ride so far.

 Looking back upon my life over the last decade, I never really thought I would be where I am now. I'm back working at the office that I left 4 years ago and it still is strange to me to sit and work in that office once more. Every morning that I go into work, it still feels strange to put on my name tag and walk through those halls.  We have two children, which is still seemingly mind boggling to me in many ways. Becoming a mom has changed me more than anything else in my life. 

As of last week, we have officially transitioned back to the church we called home when we were newleyweds and into the years of our lives pre-babies. I have been trying to be intentional and cry out for my family in this season more than I ever have before. No longer working at church opened up my ears and my heart more to where God was leading us in this new season. He has lead us to return to where we once were. As with all decisions of this caliber, it has not been easy especially because many of th people I was in ministry with, I have been in ministry with for over half of my life. That’s a long time. But, sitting in our new (old) church home on Sunday, I was flooded with so much peace and I know we are where we need to be. Sometimes transition is hard and I have felt that in so many areas of our lives. But lately, I have felt peace the surpasses all of my understanding in this life and I know I just need to keep listening. 

Every year for the past few years, I have created a list of things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday rolls around, as it always does. Now that I am on my way into my mid-thirties, at least in a few years, I feel like it is expected of me to get my crap together more. My twenties feel very, very, very far away now and life looks completely different than I thought it would. Good different, but different nonetheless. 

Here is my list from last year. I have gone in and crossed out the ones that I actually accomplished. There are some things on this list that I have placed on the list every year and every year I don’t accomplish them, but here we are. I know many of you could really care less if I cross off items on my list, but I love things like this and I will probably continue to make these lists for a long time. 

Below is my list for this new year of life....I am now 32, which still seems odd to me in the grand scheme of things. But, I’m ready to dive in to this new year, full of hope even though so many things still feel like they are unknown. 

33 books
Read through the Bible
Go camping
Become debt free
Get another tattoo
Sell our house (This is probably the biggest undertaking on this list...) 
10 year anniversary trip
Family Trip
Holiday Bucket List 
Try Buki Yoga & Lekfit
Secret Thing #1 (Wouldn’t you like to know?) 
Fly in a plane
Farmers Market
Use the library more
No Spend Month
Drive in Movie
Find another side hustle
Fall Bucket List
Play a show or play FOCOMX 
Have pie in Estes
Intuitive Eating
Go to a concert
See the ocean
52 Blog Posts for the year
Stay at the Elizabeth Hotel
Get a massage
Finish a song
30 Day Challenge
Revamp the weekly cleaning schedule
Go meat free for a while
New pick up and tune up for my Martin acoustic
Family Dinner 2x per week and focus on meal planning
Make bread from scratch

This is 32. 

Hollen Holidays | Christmas 2017

Christmas has already come and gone this year and I'm left with a bunch of boxes sitting under the tree that still need to be cleaned up. But, boy...was it a good one. So good, that I hardly took any photos this year. I've decided that is a good sign of how the day went. I hate being so attached to my phone all of the time and I'm truly trying to work on putting it down and living our lives. Yes, I like to document many things but constantly having my phone in my family's face really doesn't help anyone. Anyways...

Marin and I did get some of our Christmas baking in this year. We made reindeer chow again, the same as last year. We were planning on making cookies as well but didn't quite get to those. Now I have a ton of Hersey kisses sitting in my pantry. Darn. That's a such a bad problem to have, right? Marin loves baking only if she can sneak chocolate chips and help me stir the contents of the bowl. She also likes being able to accessorize with a cute apron. I also have been trying all season to get her to watch Elf and she finally said that she wanted to. I love that movie. We've watched it too many times now, but at least she was down for it this year. 

Christmas Eve was a blur and both of us had to work. Marin had a slumber party at the grandparents house the night before. Working for a church, I had a long day ahead of me that started at about 6:30am and didn't really end until about 7:00pm that night. I had a little break in the middle there to go home, try and eat something, and head right back to work. Ryan also worked all day but was able to make it to the evening service. Since Christmas Eve landed on a Sunday, we have 3 services. Two in the morning and a Christmas Eve service at night. Everything went smoothly and the day really wasn't as tiring as I had expected. I did hit almost 20,000 steps that day. Ouch feet. 

The next morning started nice and early thanks to Marin waking early. We opened gifts from each other and the ones that we bought for the kiddos. Marin's biggest wish was a Barbie House, which she didn't get from us. She kept asking about it like..."I did ask Santa for it...so where is it?!" Oh, kiddo. That's not always how it works. But, don't worry, her day ended with a Barbie House. 

After we got ready for the day, we headed to Loveland to have Christmas morning with my side of the family. The morning was filled with lots of kids, food, and opening presents. I soaked it all in and enjoyed it so much. Christmas with a bunch of kiddos around is so much better. 

That afternoon, we headed to Ryan's brother's home for chili, cinnamon rolls, and more gift unwrapping. Marin finally got her Barbie House. It was the last gift she opened that day and I thought she was going to explode with anticipation. She made it though, to the very end. 

The day was a good one. I love that all of our family is near and that we can spend our holidays with them. We ate way too much, got way too many amazing gifts, and the kids both fell asleep on the drive back to our home. Our kids have enough toys to last them through a few years at this point. So many toys. Marin is in heaven. Sully is a little to young to realize that he got a bunch of cool stuff, but Big Sis is making sure his toys also get played with. 

Merry Christmas to you and yours. Until next year...

Hollen Holidays | Christmas Decor 2017

I always love this time of year and I say that every year. Decorating for Christmas is always something that I love doing, no matter what season we are living through in our lives. This is the season of a baby and preschooler at home. That being said, a lot of our set up is similar to years past. I added a few new ornaments and some new twinkle lights. We also have a new front door wreath that I didn't take a picture of. It lights ups and the lights are battery operated on a timer. Pretty neat. 

Most of my shopping was done weeks ago for Christmas but until a few days ago, the boxes sat in our spare room. I kept trying to get to it during afternoon nap times but the kiddo's naps and quiet time were all over the place. I finally finished them on Saturday. It is nice to actually have gifts under our tree now. We only get to enjoy them for a week, but oh well. 

I was going to move all of the baby stuff out of the living room before taking pictures but decided that this is our real lives. All of the baby gear is part of our lives at this moment in time and I wanted to document it. I will be glad though when I can sell all of this stuff and not trip over it constantly. 

Marin is very excited about her hanging Christmas tree, the snowflakes on the window, and her ginger bread house. I love all of these things too because it feels like home to me. Don't get me wrong, I do love a perfectly set decorating theme but as long as we have small children, this is how things will be. 

Blink-o always finds his place on our kitchen counter as well. He's a family tradition on the Hollen side and I always like getting him out every year. 

Here's a look at the Christmas decorations of our past, at least far enough back as what's on the blog. I love being able to look back to see how much our home has changed over the past few years. 

2016

2015

2014

2013

2012

2011

2010

2009

Baby Sullivan | Week Twenty-One

Well, I am a tad behind in getting this blog posted, but here we are. I cannot quite believe that it has already been a week since Thanksgiving and good pie but it's already Thursday yet again. I usually try to get these posts written on Monday or Tuesday but this week has been a doozy. Most of our little family has been sick. I'm so over this sickness. It has been hanging around far too long and I'm very much ready for everyone to be healthy once more. I mean come on! It's been weeks. Once one of us starts feeling okay, the next one is sick. It's been a vicious cycle of germs for a while now. I'm ready to be done with it all. 

Marin has been sick yet again and I'm just waiting for her little immune system to catch up. I'm certain that being in preschool has added to the germ filled opportunities to catch something. She's had a cough and runny nose for a while now. It has gotten super fun lately because she coughs so hard and so much that she ends up throwing up. Poor kiddo. Throwing up in your bed is no fun either. I've washed a lot of bed sheets over the past few days. Once she falls asleep, she is alright but up until that point, she coughs and coughs. 

Friday night, Ryan and I were watching TV downstairs and both kiddos were in bed. All of a sudden in the baby monitor, I hear this barking sound coming from Sullivan's room. Little man has finally gotten sick with croup. We've never had a kid with croup, so that's been an interesting experience. Luckily, his case hasn't been as bad as some I've heard of where the baby can't hardly breathe and is rushed to the ER. His cough is loosening quite a bit over the last few days and he is in good spirits. 

In my opinion, there's nothing worse than feeling helpless as parent. There's only so much you can do for you kid when they are sick. You can only suck out their nose boogers and wipe their noses. You can't help them cough out all of the crud in their chests or blow their noses well.

I'm hoping we are at the tail end of all of this. We took them both to the doctor last night just to double check there wasn't anything else that we should be doing. Marin has a virus. Sully has croup. Here we are. Pray for healing, quick healing. I'm ready to go into the holidays healthy and whole. 

Hollen Holidays | Thanksgiving 2017

Around this time of year, I always try to take a morning and write down the things that I am thankful for. I wish I didn't always need it be around the Thanksgiving holiday to remember to take the time to do this, but this holiday is always a great reminder of how sweet life truly is. 

In this season of our lives, I am grateful and thankful for....

The sunrise peaking over the house across the street, slowly revealing glorious colors to welcome the new day. The heat that is moving through our little home. Our home....every room, every nook, every cranny. Every unpainted room and cat-scratched piece of furniture. Our overflowing fridge, freezer, and pantry. The new van in the driveway and the realization that I get to rock the mom mobile once more. My voice. My mind. My body even though I am still tired and getting over being sick. Even though my body hasn't bounced back hardly at all since having Sully. My C-Section pooch. My stretch marks, my tiger stripes. The early morning hours before my family starts to stir. The children warm and cozy, sleeping in their beds. Marin's spunk and imagination, that challenges me most days and makes me a better parent. Breastfeeding Sullivan in the early morning glow of his night light. nap times. Meals at the table. Trips to the library. The holidays. The fact that we can afford Christmas presents. The roof over our heads. The balance in our bank account. Our jobs. The flexibility of my job. Quiet time. My Bible and the warm cup of coffee beside me. The changing of seasons. Bath time for the kids. Taking a walk with the double stroller. Spending time with Ryan after a long day, decompressing. Lunch with the great grandparents. A Sunday off for New Years. Leading and playing worship music. Marin's preschool. Being able to pay all of our bills. Grandparents. Dishwashers and clothes dryers. Books that challenge me. Music that moves me and reminds of another time and place. Cooking a good meal. A glass of wine. Vintage City Church. 

I could go on and on....

We have a lot to be thankful for. 

Our Thanksgiving this year started with breakfast at home. I made cinnamon rolls and bacon. We drank a lot of coffee. 

The rest of the morning was spent picking up the house, feeding the baby, making green bean casserole. I tried a new recipe this year...it was okay. I think I'll go back to the classic dish next year.

We went to the Hollen's house this year for our Thanksgiving meal. We usually trade off every other year. Next year will be my side of the family. 

Marin talked about eating turkey all week and that she would try it out. She was pretty impatient waiting for everything to cook and be ready. She kept sitting at the table a good hour before we actually ate, anticipating the meal. Go figure though, she didn't try a single bite of turkey. What a goober.

As part of the centerpiece for the meal, the Hollen's had a bring a book or two that we were grateful for. I had a hard time narrowing it down but I brought Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline and Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living. It was a cool way for us to discuss how books have shaped us. I can go back and talk about the seasons I was in when I read these books.

Obligatory Food Picture on Thanksgiving

Ryan brought The Hobbit, or There and Back Again and Marin brought Corduroy.

It was a wonderful day full of family and too much food. I am so thankful for our families and our full bellies. 

This morning I tried to convince Marin that we could have a special treat...apple pie at ten in the morning and that we should watch Elf. But, she's crazy and didn't touch her pie and didn't want to watch Elf. Come on, kiddo. Jump on the day after Thanksgiving train! I just offered to let you eat dessert in the morning. Oh well....