I'm tired. I'm a tired that I didn't know was even possible. I'm so tired that I'm not tired and I'm sitting here writing these words to you. I will be shocked if all of my sentences come out as they should, but here goes nothing.
It has been officially one week and two days since Marin Ryan Hollen came in to this world. I plan on writing out our birth story at some point, but that isn't what this post is for today. Each week I want to try and capture a photo of her. Her element. Her smile. Her grimace. Those sleepless nights where my husband and I find ourselves just staring at each other and then back to the crying little girl in my arms and wondering if we will ever see the other side of that feeding or if maybe we will end up with an only child.
Parenting is tough. Breastfeeding is tougher than I could have ever have imagined. But, looking back from this time last week, we have completely hit a new stride, even if we are still very far from being where one would hope.
I know I will look back upon these first few weeks of motherhood and laugh someday. I usually am not showered, walking around with a babe in tow, my hair sticking up in a million places and smelling like last nights dinner. I am more exhausted than I thought possible. I have to remind myself to eat and usually consume lunch around 3pm most days. I am constantly in awe of my husband and his character. His help through the breastfeeding has been so needed. I don't think I could do these first few weeks without him by my side. Our zombie like states have caused us to laugh until we've cried and fall more in love with our little girl every minute.
I know this time will pass far too quickly. I can't believe we are already a week in. I am anxious to know her little personality and really come into our own in regards to breastfeeding.
One day at day. One feeding at a time. One minute at a time.