29

03 August 2015


Today is my birthday. Today I turn 29 years old. The Facebook, "Happy Birthdays!" have already started to pour in and I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed early to write before my day officially begins and the rest of the house wakes up. I wanted to sit in my arm chair, with a coffee next to me and write without picking cheerios up off of the floor and dealing with spilled milk. 

29. 29. Twenty-nine. I feel like I was just twenty-one, playing a show in downtown Portland, in an unwise relationship with the wrong boy, and drinking my first Mickey's, surrounded by friends and pasta in an actual restaurant. That was shockingly 8 years ago. I don't even know me from back then anymore. 

Time has changed so swiftly in the last few years. So many things occurred even in the last year alone, from twenty-eight to twenty-nine. This time last year, we had a 6 month old baby girl and I was still slightly crazed from childbirth, still breastfeeding, still finding my footing in the brave new world of motherhood. I was trapped in an unknown body of left-over pregnancy weight and too many consumed donuts and Chinese takeout. 

My job changed in my 28th year as well and I was set free. Getting out of healthcare was the best decision I have ever made as far as my "career" goes. I don't even want to think about how life would be if I was still there, still stuck, still miserable. 

28 was the year that I played the least amount of music. That realization obviously saddens me greatly but I've come to terms with the dry season I find myself in. You have a child and suddenly this full on life-altering shift occurs and the things that I once obsessed and stressed over seem not nearly as important as they once were. Music is still in my bones. But, motherhood and raising a smart, creative, enduring child is my season. 

People are always asking me, "When are you going to book some shows? When are getting the band back together? Are you writing anything?" I am in a season where I am more thrilled by Marin learning a new word, even if that word is just "boobies." I am on a journey of discovery through the eyes of our child and in this season, that is still enough. It has to be. It must be. 

So, hello 29. I have no idea of what experiences and lessons you will hold for me in this new year of living but if it's anything like the years of my past, I look forward to the next 365 days of life, lessons, and new seasons. 


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