Colorado Floods 2013

Before I continue on with my normal blog posts, I can't shake the fact that as of a few days ago, half of my state is underwater. After my melodramatic post about the rain, I almost feel guilty for embracing the welcomed water. At that point, I had no idea what thousands of people would be facing. 

It just kept raining and raining and raining. I am used to this type of rain from living in the northwest for a few years. But, the big difference between here and there is the terrain. The ground can handle the amount of rain in Washington. Clearly, the ground in Colorado cannot. 

Our home is safe. Our family is safe. Many of the people I work with are safe. But, much of the town I grew up in is flooded. Numerous other towns all across Colorado are flooded. The Big Thompson Canyon leading up to Estes is devastated. My Aunt and Uncle live up the canyon and things are not looking good for them or the people around them. They have been evacuated and are at a shelter as of yesterday. 

It's times like this when you really have to step back and realize how lucky you are and also how many other people need help. 

It's hard to just continue on as usual when I know that so many people are without homes, running water, toilets that they can flush. 

The latest I've read is: 17,494 homes damaged, 1,502 homes destroyed, 11,700 ppl evacuated, 1,253 people unaccounted for, 26 shelters. 

My heart is very heavy this evening. 

Rain

I need a fresh start today. A real one. A powerful one. 

Yesterday turned out to be a little rough on the work front and I still can’t shake it. There’s been so many times lately where I can’t take it. There’s been so many times where even though I do make good money and work for an awesome company, I don’t feel like what I’m doing there is making any sort of difference: I am just in the way. I don’t matter. I am not making life better for people that work there but maybe worse. I’ve failed. 

Melodramatic much? 

I know much of what was stated above isn't true. 

At least it’s been raining all night. I almost feel like that’s God little sign to me saying: it’s going to be ok. Remember how I used to wash you of all impurities and mistakes in your life before in the northwest. Remember the rain. Remember My promises. 

Rain carries with it a heaviness for me but also a welcomed breath. I am hurled back to the years of my past the second I hear the rain hit the pavement. So much of my life was once saturated by this rain. So many of my decisions, my triumphs and failures, were made in this rain. It followed me 1200 miles back to this very place I write today, if only to remind me of what once was, what isn’t anymore, and possibly what could be ahead. 

I will probably have some courageous conversations today. I will probably be stretched and need to face my faults or at least what I think are my faults. It’s going to be ok. We all need those days even though most of the time we try not to face them. It’s part of the process. I don’t believe it’s possible to work around so many people and not face this process. 

I needed this rain today. 

I would be entirely fine if it kept up all day and into this evening. 

Goals for May

How is it even possible that we are already in the month of May? I feel like I begin every new month with that very same question. April flew by so fast that I barely feel that I got to take it all in. I almost completed all of my goals for April, though. That is a triumph in itself. The only one I failed to do was to take some Outfit Posts for this little blog. They are planned out but it's just a matter of taking the dang photos. Being stuck in an office all day doesn't all give me the best light once I exit those doors. 

May already is dear to my heart this year. Many changes are coming about, some things are remaining the same. It's raining outside as I write this post, which warms my very heart. I love rain. It could do this for days and I wouldn't feel sad about it at all. I would though just want to stay indoors, organize our lives, drink too much coffee, and sit down with a novel or two. One can dream. It's the beginning of yet another busy, work-filled week. 

Goals for this month....

Continue the Great Garage Sale preparation. I've only made a small dent in a big, stuff-we-don't-really-need-anymore world. 

Go to the Farmer's Market. 

Schedule a massage. Even for next month. I need it. 

Plan a getaway for our anniversary in June. 

Do an outfit post!! No more procrastination. 

Thoughts on Driving

Last week, we hit the road. No work for an entire week and the only thing in front of us were farms, the promise of BBQ from little hole in the wall places, and the realization that we didn't really have anything pulling us back to work. Paradise. 

I love road trips. I love the time that I get to think, to sort out all of things sitting dormant inside of me, and to dream about the details and future that I only get to grasp every once in a while when life slows down a bit and the office life isn't dragging me down. I was counting down to this trip for weeks, months. The countdown began somewhere around 80 days to go or so. I needed a vacation. We needed a vacation. 

We had one plan in mind: to visit this shop, where vintage dreams come true and where my creativity seemed to have a fire lit underneath it. 

Driving somewhere we've never been forces me to find some clarity. I wrote lists upon lists. Inspiration hit me like a freight train. After the last few months, I needed creativity to pulse through my veins once again. I needed to not sit at a desk for countless hours a day, all the while allowing my dreams to sit quietly next to me. 

This book challenged me to my core. 

It rained nearly most of our trip but I didn't mind. Rain has been a massive force in my life. It has washed me clean, metaphorically and literally, for many years when I lived in the northwest. It is the sign of creativity, a sort of nostalgic sigh of the life I once had and the life I now am blessed enough to live. 

Swine Flu, Rain, Ross, and Paper Heart

Last night, Ryan and I went and saw Paper Heart. So cute. :) 

Yesterday also involved a shopping trip to one of my favorites, Ross. I can find more deals here than anywhere else most of the time. I picked up two new dresses that I can't wait to pair with some leggings, boots, scraves, and cardigans. I'm always stretching the "business casual" lines of my job. :) And I bought these for under 40 bucks. Score. 

           

On a crappier note, I currently sit at home, sick as a dog. Swine flu anyone?? I was feeling gross all weekend and went to work for an hour this morning. They sent me home the second they found out half of my family had the same thing. So now I'm here. And I really want some oatmeal. Brown sugar to be exact. But, we don't have any. So, I'm currently drinking as much tea as I can get my hands on, hoping that this sore throat will go away soon. 

But, it is raining, a lot. And we all know that I love this weather. Makes me think of Longview still and how all of those days weigh heavy on my heart. But, I will forever love the rain and all the things that it stirs within my soul. Too bad I'm sick and can't just go hang out at a coffeehouse all day and write, dream, plan. It's days like this when my entrepreneur soul comes raging out. I have some big dreams. 

I'm off to find some soup or something. Ugh.