We are facing a growth spurt, I believe. She is and I am as well. She wants to eat CONSTANTLY and spends most afternoons nicely awake and fussy. I am growing in the fact that I have to feed her CONSTANTLY and keep my sanity when I don't get anything else accomplished. I just keep telling myself that caring for her is the most important thing in my life right now (and it is!). There are days where I feel a bit stir crazy while on maternity leave, but Marin is surely giving me a run for my money as of late. She keeps me on my toes pretty consistently.
She is slowly growing into who she will be and I am slowly growing into who I am as a mother. Every day is different and every day I feel like it will probably get harder before it gets easier, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. These growth challenges are good, for both of us. She is growing up big and strong and I learn how to manage myself a lot better. It's a win-win!
As much as I believe I would love to be a stay at home mom, I am also slowly getting more ready to return to work. Having a baby around is a fun challenge at times, but I am also excited to stretch my mind again at work and help run a growing dental business. I never thought I would say those words. I wouldn't have said those words a few weeks ago. I know my heart will ache to be close to my kid, for sure, but I am also ready to get a bit more of routine in our lives. (At least until the day comes where we could possibly live on one income. That day is VERY, VERY, VERY far away, unfortunately.) I am ready to get dressed and put make up on in the morning, to wear something other than pajama pants. It's almost time and I'm coming to terms with all of it. But, on the flip side, the other part of me doesn't want to miss out on every smile and every giggle from our little girl. I guess it's kind of the bend and sway of being parents and working full time. I'm strangely excited for the challenge ahead. I think they will be good for all of us. I'll keep repeating that to myself over and over again as I prepare for my return to the workforce.
Today though, will be spent with our little girl. There is a stroll through the neighborhood in our future. I will feed her over and over and over again and still remain in awe that this child was brought into the world for us to care for. We will change her diapers over and over and over again. We will be aware of every little smile and every little cry. This is where we currently find ourselves, in these moments, and I'm alright with that.